To expect him to come home?

[EternalBeloved]

I started taking a new antidepressant for suicidal thoughts and depression about 4 days ago. I've had migraines and nausea, but whn I googled it said these are common side effects. This morning I have woken up with a high heart rate and a raised temp. My nose was bleeding when I woke up. Im waiting on a call back from the doctor but im really struggling with my 3 year old. I tried to get her toys out and my heart was racing and I felt light headed. She is very high needs with ASD. I have the school run this afternoon too.
Called my partner at work and he says its busy and he can't come home to help. After my call with the gp, if I have to go in he won't come home and take care of DD and do the school run for me. AIBU to expect him to come home and help me? He works in a kitchen if that changes anything.

Of course he should, I appreciate it is awkward when at work to take time off for your children, but it's what plenty of people (mainly women) have to do. And no, working in a kitchen doesn't change anything, he will likely spin to you the yarn that they will sack him on the spot if he dares to tell them he needs to go home, but he is being selfish.

If it is once off or very occasionally then yes it would be good if he could

Unless theres more context to this and it is happening all the time (him being required to go home) yanbu

It is quite difficult to walk away from a busy kitchen to be fair, particularly when you don't actually know whether you'll need him or not. Plus jobs in hospitality are so shaky at the moment no-one wants to piss their employer off. Can you get anyone else to help?

Absolutely he should come home. You shouldn't be driving when you feel like that, nor should you be on your own with a child. I mean, you're feeling dizzy, so what happens if you pass out or become severely unwell? You would have nobody able to help you.

Is there anyone else who could be with you at the moment? Have you made it absolutely clear to him how bad things are?

Perhaps he could come home after the lunch time session is over - do you have a neighbour who could help out in the meantime

any friends or relatives that could do school run for you ?
starting on antids ususally make you feel worse for a while, while they kick in, the side effects are often caused by the chemicals reacting with those in the brain and trying to find a level palying field to work on so to speak. these problems might not be a one off.
hope you feel better soon though.

Is your DP the father to your children? I don't think he has any obligation to help with childcare if he's not their father. You said he works in a kitchen, is he paid hourly and will miss out on pay if he leaves? Often in hospitality people can't just leave, they need to find cover or they'll lose their job if they just walk out. Do you rely on his income?

Depends on the kitchen. If the place has to close if he's not there, then yes, his response his understandable.

You are struggling but still able to do it. It's tough but not as tough as dealing with having to tell his boss the place has to close.

When you say “help with the school run”... I’m assuming he’s not the dad?
Do you live together?

If he looses his job will that help your situation?

Do you have other emergency contact? Often they really can't leave in these jobs. It's not like he can finish off the work later or at home.