This might be a bit long as I don’t want to drip feed.
I have DC (8) and DH. It’s DCs birthday today - we live outside of uk but in Europe (which is relevant)
DH is rubbish when it comes to family events (Christmas and birthdays). I have to do all the planning, purchasing and ‘worry work’ surrounding these events. Each year the same thing happens, I don’t everything, then get stressed out and grumpy and fail to enjoy the event itself. This lead last year to a huge argument over Christmas where dh promised he would do better.
DC is 8 today, in the run up to their birthday I asked DH to buy a birthday card and organise the sweets to go into school. Everything else I have done, including present buying for various relatives who haven’t been able to get to the shops in the U.K. due to Covid and other reasons.
We haven’t been home to the uk in over a year due to Covid travel restrictions and since January my mother has had cancer, we thought it was more or less I see control but 10 days ago she has had something of a relapse and is now actively dying. Due to Covid restrictions I don’t think I can get to her any time soon, and have been organising carers medication etc from here. I have a brother in the uk who lives 20 minutes away but won’t deal with anything as he finds it too upsetting and will barely go to see her. There is a very real prospect she will die alone. I say all this not for sympathy but to show I’m carrying a bit of a full load right now.
Husband came home from work tonight having brought a single bag of haribo - school won’t give these out as kids aren’t allowed to share food (not Covid related just standard, we have to send in individual bags of sweets / chocolates whatever. It’s been the same for 5 years now).
He went back to the shop to get the right thing, but after an argument saying he couldn’t possibly have known what I meant by asking for ‘25 treat size bags of haribo’.
I wrap all DCs presents and then I ask him for the card he has written - he has bought the wrong gendered card, not even ambiguous, we have a Dd and he has bought one with racing cars and ‘happy birthday young man’ on the inside.
Apparently I am unreasonable for expecting him to open the f*cking card and check the greeting in the shop, that this was a mistake anyone could make. The shops here are all now shut, DD doesn’t have a card from us.
AIBU to expect him to be able to complete two simple tasks without completely messing up? He thinks I shouldn’t be angry because he tried his best and I wasn’t clear enough about what I needed him to do. I think if I can juggle a new job, organising birthday parties and present plus morphine prescriptions across two time zones he can manage to get a birthday card for the correct gendered child - we only have the one so it’s not like it’s easy to confuse!
AIBU? And how can I sort out the men-children in my life who don’t sort themselves out?!?