To expect parents to babysit daughter in our own home

[tiredmumsclub1]

Hi,
Just wondering what you all think.
Have really struggled with becoming a parent, lots of failed expectations and stress with one thing or another. My own mum and dad haven't been particularly hands on as grandparents but will babysit my DD occasionally for a couple of hours a night so we can go out. It mostly consists of watching tv with her. We are really grateful for the support but sometimes find myself wishing for more. We always have to ask for help; it's rarely offered. Here's the thing, they have actually offered to look after my DD in their own home during daytime, and it's an offer I would accept but the problem is their dog! Since our now 16m/o DD was a newborn he has been making aggressive noises towards her (thinking she is another animal) and it put me off visiting their house for a long time. A few months ago they agreed to crate train him so we could safely visit. He spends a lot of time in cage when DD at their house with me present, but I don't feel comfortable with them looking after her whilst the aggressive dog is in same building. On off chance he got out of cage/got back in house somehow from being in garden... I worry that he would actually kill her if he got access to her. AIBU to not allow parents to look after DD in their own home while their dog is in house?

I think I would feel exactly the way you do.

@tiredmumsclub1

Hi, Just wondering what you all think. Have really struggled with becoming a parent, lots of failed expectations and stress with one thing or another. My own mum and dad haven't been particularly hands on as grandparents but will babysit my DD occasionally for a couple of hours a night so we can go out. It mostly consists of watching tv with her. We are really grateful for the support but sometimes find myself wishing for more. We always have to ask for help; it's rarely offered. Here's the thing, they have actually offered to look after my DD in their own home during daytime, and it's an offer I would accept but the problem is their dog! Since our now 16m/o DD was a newborn he has been making aggressive noises towards her (thinking she is another animal) and it put me off visiting their house for a long time. A few months ago they agreed to crate train him so we could safely visit. He spends a lot of time in cage when DD at their house with me present, but I don't feel comfortable with them looking after her whilst the aggressive dog is in same building. On off chance he got out of cage/got back in house somehow from being in garden... I worry that he would actually kill her if he got access to her. AIBU to not allow parents to look after DD in their own home while their dog is in house?

I can see why they dont offer much. They can sense your anxiety and are letting you lead.

Did your parents let you get attacked by a dog?

AIBU to not allow parents to look after DD in their own home while their dog is in house

No you are not being unreasonable to not allow them to look after DD in their own home.

However, you WBU to demand they provide free child care in your home.

Wow thanks for all of the responses! I understand there is actually a really broad spectrum of views on this issue. When my own DD is grown up I definitely think I'll feel like I ought to help her if she has children and struggling with feelings of needing a break etc, similarly will feel indebted to my own parents to take care of them when they're older similarly (and have also taken care of them at times!). So hope I don't sound like too spoilt

@OverTheRainbow88 it was strange. Their (e.g. my mum's) rationale is that he was homeless having split with his partner so had to come live with them. Therefore his dogs had to come too. I'm old enough not to get too het up over this stuff now.

Hell would freeze over before I'd leave my child in the same house as a dog I didn't trust.

I love dogs and have one, inlaws have one too but I could imagine if my childeren were left alone with their dog that the dog might snap as kids are bad at reading a dogs signs and often push them. So I would let child go but never to be left alone with the dog, if that is possible. If you think it is not then don,t leave child there.

If you don't feel comfortable with then providing free child care in their home, say no and make other arrangements.