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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a midlife crisis!!

7 replies

midlifespices · 08/10/2020 17:59

Have spend the last 2 weeks job hunting after yet another entry-level shitty job has come to an end. This is the latest in a long line of jobs that have started well but never go anywhere and end up with me leaving, humiliated, after all my colleagues get promoted and I'm still where I started.

I ask for more responsibility, take on extra tasks, work hard, never off sick, any appraisals have been good. I thought it was because I was part-time, but this job I asked to increase my hours and they said great, then employed someone new and said now they can't increase my hours. It's like my face doesn't fit anywhere.

So here I am now, mid 40's, no career and realistically, no prospect of a career. I do consider myself very fortunate, I have a lovely DH and 3 teenage DC, house, I really do appreciate that, but I can't shake this massive sense of failure that I feel (not to mention total lack of financial security/independance).

What I'd really like to do is paint, draw, make stuff all day. I'm on the verge of quitting the all consuming job hunt and doing this, despite it realistically earning me no money. Is this a midlife crisis?!

OP posts:
woofwoof1880 · 08/10/2020 18:06

Doesn't sound like a midlife crisis at all. Sounds like you are fed up with a job that goes no where and would like to do something creative that you are passionate about. Think about it as a new chapter in your life.

midlifespices · 08/10/2020 21:38

Thanks @woof. I really need to change something as I can't carry on like this. I'm not sure I can ever make the leap though - I feel I have to have a 'job' - no matter how terrible. I'm surounded by amazing women who have forged fantastic careers for themselves and achieved so much - it's got to the point that I avoid meeting up as I feel I have nothing to offer.

OP posts:
carbhunter · 09/10/2020 19:41

Sorry no advice just wanted to offer solidarity. I am in a similar position, about to turn 40 and my 'career' is still entry level. I used to think I was bright and capable now I just feel thick.

rainbowninja · 09/10/2020 19:52

Doesn't sound like a midlife crisis to me, sounds like you've just never found the thing you love. Have you read 'untamed' by Glennon Doyle?

midlifespices · 10/10/2020 23:46

@carbhunter - very similar. "I used to think I was bright and capable now I just feel thick." is exactly how I feel. I feel in a downward spiral - I go for easier and easier jobs because I think I didn't get anywhere in previous one because I wasn't capable. And that looks terrible on CV so even getting "easier" job is harder. I feel like I just need to start again but do something completely different.

@rainbowninja I haven't but will look it up - thank you. I really haven't found the thing, despite searching for it for 30 years! I found picking A-levels so hard as I didn't know what to do at uni, picking degree hard, then picked the wrong degree. I always thought I'd be able to go back and do another one but the cost now makes that a path I can't go down, even if I did work out what it was I wanted to do with my life.

Is this something a career counsellor can help with or are they more about fine tuning your corporate career I wonder?

OP posts:
carbhunter · 11/10/2020 08:54

I think about a change of direction too as I wonder if perhaps I'm just not suited to my area of work, but I worry that if you shift to something new and are rubbish it will just be another few years working back to the pay level I'm on now and getting stuck in that profession. I do worry that its me and not the job that's the problem.
Good luck, I have had lots of career counselling (I have easy access to it in my job) and it's never really helped, but maybe it will for you.

Straven123 · 11/10/2020 09:04

When I look online at original oil paintings for sale they go for large amounts eg 600 -2000 pounds. I paint for a hobby and I think I could probably ask 2-300 for mine, though I'm v slow. The initial outlay for paints and cavasses is probably a couple of hundred pounds.

Is there any niche you could fill?
This website shows what is selling now (no accounting for taste)
www.craftcount.com/category.php?cat=3&subcat=4
I'm not saying you could instantly make a living, more that you could try making some pocket money whilst you job hunt.

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