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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When it's my problem it's irrelevant, when it's his, it's very important!

8 replies

bangingmyheadagainstthewall · 08/10/2020 15:34

I have a rental property, as does my DP. I have been unlucky over the years and have dealt with rent arrears, deposit claims, house left in a mess etc etc. I have dealt with everything professionally but have often found the process frustrating and unfair and have voiced this to my DP. I am a member of the NRLA and always make sure I do things by the book which often involves a lot of paperwork and time. He never commented much on the issues I had and didn't offer any help or support.

DP has been a lot more lucky, but when his good tenant left, he had to do a certain amount of work and admin to get a new tenant - you would think this was a major task! He expects me to listen and to understand. He talks about it all like I have no understanding of his situation when I have been through it many times with a lot more complications.

I organised driving lessons, buying cars, taxing and insuring them and spent many hours on this for my son and his oldest daughter. I didn't get any thanks or acknowledgement.

He is now doing the same for his youngest daughter and boy oh boy, is it a drama! Again, he talks to me as if I know nothing about it - despite having been through the same process twice before. The car he bought for youngest daughter has been sat on the drive, untaxed and insured for months because it's such a big task for him. He would never ask me to help but prefers to tell me what a huge effort he is making in sorting it out (depsite the fact, he hasnt actually sorted it out!).

These are just two examples.

I find it incredibly frustrating!

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 08/10/2020 15:48

Call him out on it, in a nice way of course

PicaK · 08/10/2020 15:50

And?!

Don't all men do this?

LouiseTrees · 08/10/2020 16:09

@PicaK

And?!

Don't all men do this?

They do. But that doesn’t mean you can’t call them out.
Sunnydaysstillhere · 08/10/2020 16:12

Buy a sticker book and start handing them out. .
He sounds a bloody nightmare...

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 08/10/2020 16:25

What does he say when you reply that you know this as you've recently been through it

NewlyGranny · 08/10/2020 16:46

I've had some, rather huffy, success in similar situations calling DH out along these lines:

If you are struggling, remember I have plenty of recent experience and can advise you; just ask. I won't do it for you and I won't listen to reptition of stuff I already know.

If you have something new to tell me on this subject, I'll happily listen. Don't bore me with stuff you've said endless times already.

Annasgirl · 08/10/2020 17:05

@Sunnydaysstillhere

Buy a sticker book and start handing them out. . He sounds a bloody nightmare...
GrinGrin
bangingmyheadagainstthewall · 08/10/2020 21:06

Love the sticker idea!!

If I call him out on it, he either ignores me and changes the subject but if I push it, he sulks like a 5 year old who's been told off for telling fibs! Hmm

OP posts:
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