Friends who deliver veiled insults

[Lalaloveyou2020]

I am much too old for this but for years I have been friendly with a woman (since school) who always delivers veiled insults. For example she'll say things like "oh xxx said i looked much younger than you" etc. It's always in a jokey manner, so it seems a bit off to call her out and I generally brush it under the carpet. I hadn't seen her since lockdown and she did the same thing again and something inside me snapped. I don't know why but it seemed to take me 30 years to realise she knows when she is insulting people and does it on purpose. Would it be unreasonable to just stop seeing her? I have called her out on previous occaisons for being rude but she never seems to learn and I ended up very upset.

I would love to dish it back but I'm not that quick. I always think of the perfect response to things about three years later 😅

@QuimJongUn. Good for you she sounds horrible. What shitty things to say.

Be prepared to be the focus of fury if you dare to point out how rude she’s being.

I know a couple of people that do this, right down to the rude to me but fawn over more confident/attractive people. I've made it my new years resolution to always say something. Not something witty, as I'd never think of a good one in time. Something bland but that puts them on the back foot a little, like "that's a strange thing to say" "how so?" "what do you mean". It makes it awkward for them at least.

I had this from a group. I thought we were all really good friends. I didn’t pick up on it til my dp met them and when they left he said they’re fucking awful, don’t let me bump into them again. I said oh? Why? He says do you not realise that the entire time you were the butt of their poor jokes, they were ridiculing you, bossing you about in your own home? 😳 id never really seen it like that, I thought it was ‘banter’. But then something happened that made me step back because they saw someone taking advantage of me and when I called her out, they took her side- no sides needed taking 🙄 It made me realise dp was right though. So when they tried reeling me back in, I stayed cool towards them.

Turns out, I got wendied. I no longer served a purpose so was ‘out’.
That’s fine, because I don’t need or want to be around people like that!

My friend, who I always thought was my best friend since our kids grew up together and have been like sisters, told me recently that my house was dirty. Then laughed and said 'I wouldn't say it if you didn't know it'. It's really affected me and now I'm completely paranoid about it.

@ellendegeneres

I had this from a group. I thought we were all really good friends. I didn’t pick up on it til my dp met them and when they left he said they’re fucking awful, don’t let me bump into them again. I said oh? Why? He says do you not realise that the entire time you were the butt of their poor jokes, they were ridiculing you, bossing you about in your own home? 😳 id never really seen it like that, I thought it was ‘banter’. But then something happened that made me step back because they saw someone taking advantage of me and when I called her out, they took her side- no sides needed taking 🙄 It made me realise dp was right though. So when they tried reeling me back in, I stayed cool towards them.

Turns out, I got wendied. I no longer served a purpose so was ‘out’.
That’s fine, because I don’t need or want to be around people like that!

That’s crap that they treated you likes that but how wonderful to have a partner who looks out for you and was on your side. Sound like he didn’t force you to ditch them or confront them but stuck up for you

I’d dump her without a second thought.

I had a friend when I was younger who was like that. She was a frenemy and actually a jealous nasty bitch. Get rid.

I had a "friend" like this a few years ago.
Got rid of them, found friends who didn't want to make me feel like shit.