Telling ex the gossip

[newhousenewrooms]

This sounds very immature I know 🙈

My DP and his ex have two children together, haven't been together for 4+ years I met him not long after they separated.

They have always had a weird relationship in regards to their communication, it's not always conversations about the kids, sometimes I've came home and heard him on the phone to her talking about pathetic things like what car he's wants to get or how his job/her family is getting on etc..

Recently, her and her partner have split up, they've had the same length relationship as me and my dp but not so stable, breaking up every other month, and her partner is really insecure about her talking to my DP. I'm not really insecure but I do find the irrelevant conversations annoying.

Through friends of friends I found out some gossip about her ex's friend, very high school childish gossip but obviously shared it with my DP as I do everything: had a phone call today to say it has got back to said friend as my DP told his ex, she told her partner that I told her (lies because her partner tells her it's weird that they speak so much) etc etc etc

AIBU to think it's weird to still be gossiping with your ex when both have long term partners to do such things with!?

Sorry, very childish I know

What was the gossip?

Yeah you're being unreasonable.

Two people have a relationship, have children, decide they dont want to be a couple any more and are managing to be friends in the process. Sounds pretty good to me.

And you think your partner shouldn't talk to his ex about his car/his family/his job, because he's got you to talk to? Why do you think he shouldnt talk to anyone else except you about those things?

I think your attitude is really weird.

I don't think their relationship is odd, if anything it's nice that people can stay friends when they have children but don't want to be partners anymore. I think it's a bit off that he told her that you told him some gossip, not that he told her the gossip just that he told her it came from you.

What was the gossip? Go on, you can tell us, we wont rat you out

@DisplayPurposesOnly I should have explained further. He is blocked in her phone because they can't get on for longer than a few days. It goes from one extreme to the other, one day they are best mates, the next she's wishing death on him. That's the weird bit

He was doing the dirty with his girlfriend cousin 🤣 that was the gossip! But now all has been revealed 🙈

I don’t think the relationship is odd, if they wanted to be together again they would have by now, they are friends, that’s a good thing.

Wouldn’t be happy about my partner telling the ex what i said though, I would feel like I couldn’t trust him, does he now know not to repeat conversations between you two to her.

It’s childish, but we all love a good gossip now and then!

@Redcups64 that's the bit I'm annoyed about. The fact I trusted him with this juicy info and he's gone behind my back

That is gossip! (I don’t know if I would be able to keep my mouth shut if I was your partner actually, I would be dying to ask the ex if it was true!)

I’m sorry OP but it’s tooooo juicy! I’d want to know if it was true, wouldn’t of said I heard from you through, would have made out I number into joe bloggs down the road

I bumped*

My spelling is just shot to pieces today!

My exh would do this with me if I let him. It's because he has no consideration whatsoever for loyalty or privacy

He was doing the dirty with his girlfriend cousin that is top tier gossip!

I just feel like he could have kept my name out of his secondary gossiping! Due to the nature of the gossip I only told him as it's severely juicy!! And now it has all came back to me 🙈 some may say that's what you get but I thought I could trust him with this one!

Did you specifically tell him not to tell his ex?

Because if not, knowing how much they talk, you must've realised there was a big chance he would.

I talk like this with my ex, we share one child so I don't think it's weird.
His current partner might but I wouldn't know or care. My DH doesn't care, he's friends with him too and they go to the pub together. All normal for us

Sorry big red flags for me here. Yes parent yes be friends but that to me is overstepping a relationship boundary and a level of trust from you.

@WorraLiberty yes, specifically said don't tell her or anybody for that matter. He could have told Sheila down the road and I'd still be annoyed but as they are always talking shit I said don't tell her

[quote newhousenewrooms]@WorraLiberty yes, specifically said don't tell her or anybody for that matter. He could have told Sheila down the road and I'd still be annoyed but as they are always talking shit I said don't tell her[/quote]
Oh ok well there's two things here then.

1. He really betrayed your trust and that's bang out of order.

1. No, it's not weird to be friendly/chatty with your ex when you're parenting children together. It's (sadly) a bit unusual but if more parents could put their differences aside and remain friends, it would improve the lives of a lot of children massively.