Feeling guilty for having a lazy day

[marmite79]

Hi all, I’m a stay at home mum. I have two children with additional needs which has always made holding down a job difficult. I live in a rural area with little job opportunities. My hubby works long unsociable but earns a comfortable wage. We are in a comfortable position. Me working would be fab for my own needs and to earn some extra but it’s not necessary.

Here’s me trying to explain myself again. Always feel I need to do this ^^

Both dc are at school now. Well Dd actually started last year but she went part time for the first time then she went full time for a few weeks afte Christmas, then dc both get ill (covid, who knows 🤷‍♀️ But both ill for a month on and off), then a family tragedy happened, then lockdown happened. What a crap year! So now is the first time I’ve really had a significant amount time at home on my own.

I am looking for work in school hours but seem hard to find in my areas. School aren’t doing wrap around care at the minute either. Childminders see full. I’m stuck.

So basically I fill my days doing house work - I am pretty house proud, walking the dog, running errands etc. I don’t like to sit down for too long. I like to keep busy! Doing favours for family members etc! Decorating my house.

Hubby keeps telling me that I need to start taking it easy.

Today I have done bugger all and watched 2 films.

It’s 1.30 I feel so guilty! Itching to do some cleaning or do something.

I keep thinking well maybe I should sort some wardrobes or deep clean my kitchen. I cannot relax! 🤷‍♀️

Does anyone else feel like this and feel guilty when they relax? I haven’t even put a load of laundry on today.

Hubby doesn’t mind. He actually likes it when I chill out more.

I don’t have many friends nearby. I’m driving myself mad 😭

Oh for goodness sake, just give yourself a day off and enjoy it! It doesn't sound like an every day occurrence.

I have a relative who is like this. I love her dearly and wish she would just relax more. I don’t really understand it as I can quite happily sit down and rest or read and don’t feel bad about it, even if there are chores to do! I think it might be a personality trait you’re born with. Why do you think you might be like this?

I get you op, I was a sahm as well. I could never relax, I could always see things that need doing, it's like living in your workspace. Enjoy your lazy day and get a takeaway too!

Take some time to yourself, you deserve it. You'll be non stop again once you've picked the children up from school. You've done years of 24/7 child care so if you can have a day to yourself now and again then why not.

Thanks all. Reading my post back again I sound silly! But I feel guilty when I don’t achieve a lot! I don’t have a car this week so I’m going to use it as an excuse to spend time at home! 🌸

If you really can't settle then get some crochet, knitting or embroidery sets.
I have been ill
For a couple of years and this is what I do
You don't feel as guilty when your hands are occupied
I also listen to audio books at the same time
Very enjoyable

Go on, sit down and enjoy this time to yourself 😊

I'm not a sahp (unfortunately) however I also have a child with SEN. I work nights so that I'm around for my DC during the day. I'm like you and feel like I should be doing something while DC is at school. I have sat and done nothing since 11am. I feel guilty but have loved catching up on TV programmes I have missed while working. I might make it a regular thing even if its just 1 day a week.
Enjoy it while you can 🙂

I was also going to suggest finding a productive enjoyable hobby so you don't feel lazy and time wasting. Although time you enjoy wasting isn't truly wasted.

I know how you feel.
I've never had a proper lazy day. My dream is to spend one day in my PJs but I can't as I feel I always need to be on alert and ready to leave the house.
Being in the house watching movies has me feeling on-edge.

You don’t sound silly, for some people it is actually hard to do nothing, and when you do, you feel like you’ve done something wrong or it puts you in a down mood.

You need to practice some self worth. It’s harder for some than others though.

Open the wine! Have a glass of wine and a bubble bath. Stick some relaxing music on. Then think about you want for dinner. The time will fly by.

Yes to a hobby.

It sounds like maybe you'd do better to try to set aside a little "you time" every day or three/four times a week, rather than take a whole day. If you're used to constantly being up and about, a full day of sitting still will probably always feel odd.

I suspect making it a habit to take an hour or two for yourself on a regular basis will also be more beneficial than a single chunk of time taken rarely.