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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is rude

41 replies

Chloe165 · 07/10/2020 12:37

I was talking to my partner about some news on a topic that I’m interested in (he isn’t), just a brief passing comment and he responds with ‘oh seriously you aren’t going to talk about that again? You know yesterday when you were talking about it and I didn’t answer it was because I don’t care’. He said it in a half joking way but I am so angry, I just told him how rude it was and mentioned that he somethings mention things that I wouldn’t particularly care for but because he does I ask questions to be a respectful partner. He’s now in a sulk about it because I’m angry. Aibu to think it is rude?

OP posts:

LindaEllen · 07/10/2020 20:32

I mean, on the face of it, it sounds like he's being really rude. But on the other hand, if you're always talking about something he has no interest in (unless it's important and you NEED to talk about it) then you're being a bit unfair banging on about it, really.

purplecorkheart · 07/10/2020 20:44

On the face of it, it was rude, but to be honest I would be interested on what the topic was. Is it Covid? I work in healthcare and the last thing I want to do is talk about anything Covid related when I get home. I already get an overload at work, media, etc.

Is the topic general or specific. For example my Dad and my aunt love golf. I have had to ask them not to give me a detailed analysis of every hole they played.

Frappuccinofan · 07/10/2020 20:46

I agree that you sound like a bit of a people pleaser OP. It’s perfectly fine in a healthy relationship to not want to discuss a topic, for the reasons many others have explained here. You don’t have to entertain the conversation. Neither does he.

Frappuccinofan · 07/10/2020 20:47

And if this is a deal-breaker for you, you’re welcome to call him out and tell him what you want, but if he doesn’t reciprocate you’ll either have to deal with it or leave

seayork2020 · 07/10/2020 23:15

Actually I take it all back if it is Covid related then once is more than enough.

I am wondering if people will know what to say to each other when Covid is over?

DH talks to me a bot about football as in 'did you hear the manager of X was sacked; type thing and I can go along with that but if he tries to teach me the offside rule one more time!

I in turn do not tell him all the details about the serial books I read

Boulshired · 07/10/2020 23:35

We have a 15 minute rule, we will listen but once the 15 minutes is gone we can say enough on subjects we have no interest in. DP could go on for hours about boxing, I don’t think I could survive if I politely listened.

Elsewyre · 08/10/2020 03:16

What the thing?

gurteee · 08/10/2020 04:21

My DH was telling me about the moon landing - he loves that stuff. Half an hour in and I am yawning nonstop and ready for bed.

He walks the dog and the dog comes back and sits on the landing yawning.

I asked my Dh if he'd been telling the dog about the moon landing too. My Dh thought it was very funny

gurteee · 08/10/2020 04:22

@iklboo

We have a code. 'Interested face number 289' - said in the manner of the 'next customer to till number 4' automated voice if one of us is going on a bit about something.

MerchantOfVenom · 08/10/2020 04:41

It does seem rude, but I kind of get it.

I am disproportionately fixated with Trump and the implosion of the US / their democracy, and he has had to explicitly ask me not to go on about it sometimes.

I respect that he’s not as interested in it as I am, so I tend not to bring the topic up with him (he brings the topic up sometimes, say when something particularly ludicrous has happened, but now that ludicrous things are emanating on the daily, he’s stopped even doing that).

I’m not really sure why you would want to force someone to engage in a convo you know holds zero interest for them...

SnuggyBuggy · 08/10/2020 04:47

It's rude and I wouldn't bother talking to him about anything that interests him only either if he's going to be like that. My DH works with computers and we all struggle to make sense of what he's talking about but we still try to take some interest because it's his job and not unreasonable for him to tell us what's going on at work.

Sara2000 · 08/10/2020 05:00

He was rude but perhaps you're talking about the same topic alot. My husband is obsessed with the coronavirus. I sigh I side every time he starts quoting a random statistic..

FortunesFave · 08/10/2020 05:38

I don't know man. My DH talks to me about things which bore the hell out of me and I tell him.

I'm not going to sit bored whilst he talks about some news event that I'm not even vaguely interested in and I wouldn't expect him to either.

Fine if it's a personal problem or something...but news things? Nope!

Just because you're married to someone doesn't mean you always have to pretend to be interested in what they're saying - quite the opposite in my view.

Onxob · 08/10/2020 07:16

A bit rude admittedly, but I sometimes say similar to my DH as he drones on about rubbish he knows I'm really not interested in... are you a droner OP?

FearlessSwiftie · 08/10/2020 09:26

It's rude. Even if you don't care. you still can find other words to ket people know that, which, in fact, isn't really necessary

Original poster

Chloe165 · 08/10/2020 09:30

Lol no it’s not covid or anything political! Just headlines in the news. Point taken, I won’t mention things that don’t interest him again but I still stand by that there was no need for him to be rude. We are fine now, not a big issue on the grand scheme of things I do get

OP posts:

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