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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Message or leave it?

10 replies

Chairlove · 05/10/2020 21:40

Went in a date last week. Previously leading up to the date we texted throughout the day and shared pictures of our day. He did shared music he was listening too and it was a guessing game on what it was. Really sweet but unsustainable.

We met, It was just drinks but we got on well. Not too sure I fancied him, but nice guy. After the date he asked me out again. Kept texting, but got a bit overly flirty. I was not too keen on that a d just sent a text saying it’s a later date conversation.

He did ask to come round for a drink to my house, but I said no prefer out. He replied saying he wasn’t going to make a move, just wanted to hang out. I replied and said best drinks out.

We planned to do something on Friday but it didn’t work our due to timings and he had his kids. He was quiet all weekend but did text to say he was painting his brothers house and had to look after his sick kid.

Not much conversation today. I want to text to ask if he wants to meet up again? Only because I would rather to know either way than being ghosted. He did say we should meet up again on Friday.

Mildly interested, but not desperate. Just hate this ghosted and lack of communication. Should I text?

OP posts:
1Morewineplease · 05/10/2020 21:43

It sounds like he's lost interest tbh.
You put him off and he went with it.

CoRhona · 05/10/2020 21:54

He's making zero effort. That's your answer Wink

Aquamarine1029 · 05/10/2020 21:58

He did ask to come round for a drink to my house, but I said no prefer out. He replied saying he wasn’t going to make a move, just wanted to hang out. I replied and said best drinks out.

He was fishing for a shag and didn't get one. His interest is gone. Please don't text him, just block and move on.

Darkestseasonofall · 05/10/2020 21:58

Don't message him, he was after a shag, then would have ghosted you anyway.
Leave well alone.

KarmaStar · 05/10/2020 21:59

From what I could follow on your post,you have vibes he was rushing things and you wanted to slow down and he has.
But if you don't fancy him anyway you might as well leave it.

raddledoldmisanthropist · 05/10/2020 22:48

From what I could follow on your post,you have vibes he was rushing things and you wanted to slow down and he has.

This is exactly what I thought. You aren't being ghosted, OP- he messaged you despite a busy weekend and again today. If I'd told someone to slow down and they kept sending me pictures and music they like all day, every day I'd run a fucking mile.

The ball is in your court, you don't sound interested so why worry if he doesn't text?

Elieza · 05/10/2020 23:01

You’re not that into him so why do you care if he doesn’t get in touch.

Plenty more guys out there. Don’t waste your time with someone you dont fancy. You’ll inevitably split up.

PointyMcguire · 05/10/2020 23:20

Why does it matter? It’s clear from your post you’re not that into him.

Girlzroolz · 05/10/2020 23:25

Personally I wouldn’t call a few hours without texts ‘ghosting’.

If you like him enough to see him again, text him a new time and place for the drink.

Make your decisions based on his response to that. I mean, dating is hard enough without trying to mind read every interaction of virtual strangers. Be proactive, if he’s gone cold you’ve lost nothing.

UserABCDE12345 · 05/10/2020 23:27

Why bother. You don't really like him so don't string him along.

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