To be annoyed that in laws by huge presents for my bpys but so much less for my daughter

[annaSab]

Dds bday and they got her a lovely present probably cost about £20 . However with my 2 sons last birthdays were expensive gadgets each costing at least £200+ each. I know that money isn't everything but wish they would treat them a bit more equally than this. Can't do anything about it but makes my blood boil at the difference in attitude.

Start giving the uncle expensive presents and his wife a can of coke!

My MIL used to pull this stunt between my 2 sons. Now I tell her what to get them and always make sure its the same price.

Tara66, I love that idea and am def tempted . Need to persuade dh

I think your dh needs to say something - by not doing so, he's complicit in treating your dd differently to the boys. You too, but mostly him, they're his family.

My mil did this for dd's first Christmas. Same value gift as previous years to ds, who is 2 years older, massively expensive present for dd. She has always treated her dds way better then her ds'.

I told dh that either he sorted it out or I would. He sorted it. Both got the same, smaller value, presents from then on. Mind you, we were also told we were no longer welcome for Christmas day (we alternated prior to that). I was perfectly happy with that .

I know. Completely agree and not going to let it go this time. Problem is he is dh's only relative so he def won't exclude him. No family gatherings due to covid at the mo anyway.

Get your Husband to say to them "You really don't need to get the boys such expensive gifts, what you spend on daughter is fine". Saying this sounds as if you're doing them a favour but also letting them know you're aware of the differential treatment of your children.

@Winniewonka - Get your Husband to say to them "You really don't need to get the boys such expensive gifts, what you spend on daughter is fine". Saying this sounds as if you're doing them a favour but also letting them know you're aware of the differential treatment of your children.

Subtlety won't work with people like that. You have to be straight up and tell them it's unacceptable

This is really strange behaviour but just playing Devils advocate here, could it maybe be possible that they don't know 'what' to get DD? Maybe they're more comfortable knowing what to buy for boys or aunt/uncle purchases for the boys and the other purchases fur did so don't realise price discrepancies or think what they've spent is reasonable. Either way it's not fair; but maybe there's a reason beyond pure sexism?

**Get your Husband to say to them "You really don't need to get the boys such expensive gifts, what you spend on daughter is fine

I would say what they spend on DD is ample and spending more on the boys makes your daughter feel inadequate and highlights their preference for the boys.

Don’t shy away. They are being mean and it is not ok.