To think I will never get back to my pre pregnancy weight.

[Thatsnotmywalk]

My first baby is coming up to 8 months old.

At the start of my pregnancy I was 12stone 7lb and had a BMI of 29.1 so was top end of overweight.

I gained 1stone during pregnancy taking me to 13stone 7lb BMI 31.4.

My baby was born just before lockdown and being a new mum mixed in with a global pandemic really affected my mental health.

I found myself comfort eating, a lot, and over the last 8 months I’ve gained 3 stone and a half stone.
My weight is now 17stone and my BMI is 39.6 😞

I’ve had some therapy to help my anxiety, which it did, but with Covid cases on the increase, my anxiety isn’t great and I’m struggling so much with self confidence and comfort eating.

In just over a year (From getting pregnant) I’ve gone from a comfortable size 12-14 to now and 18-20.

I have a wardrobe full of gorgeous clothes that don’t fit.
I feel sluggish, exhausted and just awful.

I don’t have any motivation to lose the weight as I’m barely leaving the house.

I have a lovely group of friends I met on an antenatal course at the beginning of the year, they’re all out doing things with their babies, Baby groups, days out etc.
A few of them have invited me out for walks and coffees but I’ve gained so much weight since they last saw me i’m embarrassed to go.

I was going to sign up to take my baby to a class but I’m petrified of Covid and the effects it will have on me being so obese.

I sit constantly and look at pictures of myself from last year wishing so much I looked like that again.

I hate having photos taken with my baby because I look so huge.

You would think this would spur me on to lose weight, but it doesn’t. It just makes me want to eat more food. 😔

I order really healthy food on our shopping, I make healthy meals as my daughter is now eating solid food and I want to set a good example to her.
But the issue is I then send my husband to the shop to buy “shit” and he will buy a lot.
Crisps, chocolate etc.

We do this a couple of times a week.
We’ve also cooked a healthy tea for our daughter and then ordered ourselves a takeaway, last week we had pizza and chips twice. 😞

I don’t even enjoy it, I really don’t know why I do it. Every time I do I then cry to my husband about how much I hate the way I look.

I just don’t know what to do or how to get out of this cycle I’m in.

I really don’t enjoy exercise (running or the gym) but I do take my daughter for a walk most days and on weekends my husband will come with us.

I’m so frustrated as my husband eats pretty much the same as me but he never seems to gain any weight.

I really want to go out and have some sort of life but my fear of Covid and being obese is really putting a downer on things.

Will I ever get back to 12.7 stone? 😔

Don't beat yourself up too much, it's very easy for this to happen. Try not to focus on 12 stone 7 - but on your first half a stone. You could easily and healthily lose 2lbs a week just by making some small changes. Smaller portions, less crap (you don't have to cut it out completely, more water etc.

Getting our to walk with your friends will be great. I promise they won't care about your weight. I've never cared about anyone else's weight in my life. Just get out there and do it and you'll feel so much better x

@LittleBrownBaby

Don't beat yourself up too much, it's very easy for this to happen. Try not to focus on 12 stone 7 - but on your first half a stone. You could easily and healthily lose 2lbs a week just by making some small changes. Smaller portions, less crap (you don't have to cut it out completely, more water etc.

Getting our to walk with your friends will be great. I promise they won't care about your weight. I've never cared about anyone else's weight in my life. Just get out there and do it and you'll feel so much better x

@LittleBrownBaby

Thank you, that’s a good suggestion to just focus on 1/2 stone at a time.

I’m sure my friends won’t mind about my gain, but I just feel so embarrassed and really don’t like how I look right now. 😞

Ah no you poor thing. Would you do intermittent fasting? I found it great as I comfort eat too and it's brilliant to set boundaries with food. Work out what's best for you and your schedule (I try leave it as long as possible before I eat but then I don't have a new baby). I'm now mixing IF with keto and the weight is falling off but, even better, I have a sense of control over my life. Good luck!

@Lalaloveyou2020

Ah no you poor thing. Would you do intermittent fasting? I found it great as I comfort eat too and it's brilliant to set boundaries with food. Work out what's best for you and your schedule (I try leave it as long as possible before I eat but then I don't have a new baby). I'm now mixing IF with keto and the weight is falling off but, even better, I have a sense of control over my life. Good luck!

@Lalaloveyou2020

Thank you! I’ve never tried fasting before, but I’m breastfeeding so I’m not sure if i should actually try it?

Honestly don’t be so hard on yourself. I was 16.4 after my DD was born 14 months ago and now I’ve lost 6 stone through fasting.

Get your DH on board and do it together! You can do it but it will take a lot of self control. But take it one day and one pound at a time - you can do it!

@Teacaketotty

Honestly don’t be so hard on yourself. I was 16.4 after my DD was born 14 months ago and now I’ve lost 6 stone through fasting.

Get your DH on board and do it together! You can do it but it will take a lot of self control. But take it one day and one pound at a time - you can do it!

@Teacaketotty

Omg that is amazing!!!
Well done!!

Did it take a long time?

@Thatsnotmywalk a lot less time than I thought it would - at the start it felt like climbing a mountain but give yourself little goals and take it a day at a time.

I started probably November last year so around a year or so, but that’s with Christmas in between too! I’m a massive fan of fasting but I’m not sure how that works if your breastfeeding - I have a takeaway once a week and eat a smaller portion of whatever the family dinner is, as I’m only really eating one main meal I don’t have to be so strict with it.

It’s not always easy but for me it’s easier than trying to watch everything I eat and plan 3 healthy meals a day!

Try to remember that this isn't a failing, and there's nothing morally wrong with having gained weight. You're not happy about it, so probably time to think about losing some of it, but you need to be kind and gentle with yourself whilst you do that. Why don't you order a couple of cheap-ish bits that fit you and feel nice for now, while you're starting to drop the lbs, and try to allow that you're still a person with worth, and your body has no bearing on that.

Also try to have pics taken - you'll regret it if you don't.

@Teacaketotty that weight loss is very inspiring! So do you just eat one meal in the evenings?

I tried to do 5:2 when I was breastfeeding and I was absolutely ravenous. Tried it again a year or two later and was surprised at how much easier it was - so I wouldn't do it breastfeeding again.

However, I think you'd have a lot better success with a smaller steps approach. Try cutting down on sugar and junk, but not restricting calories particularly - just make it better food, and not too many white carbs. That'll get rid of a lot of unhealthy snacks anyway, which sound like the main problem.

But I think you can absolutely lose the weight again! It's just that things are particularly hard right now and starting a restrictive diet right now just might be a bit much, which is why I think 'eat better, not less', might be a good starting point.

I used to hate exercise too. Then I forced myself to do 10 min workouts in the living room in the morning as soon as I woke up- fitness blender or even buy a Davina dvd or similar.

Then I started to notice the difference to how it made me feel - more energy, more motivation. This spurred me on to keep at it, and I was even more motivated to keep on when I noticed the difference in the length I could go on for, the improvement in my strength and stamina.

This in turn made me feel more capable and more in the mindset of making healthier choices in what I eat.

Yes exercise is only 20% of weight loss but to me it's actually everything because of the effect it has on me mentally.

Give it a go!

@Teacaketotty what do you do with intermittent fasting? I also gained more weight in the year after pregnancy than during pregnancy! BF did not make the weight 'drop off' for me as you are so often told...

Op I can say with som certainty that you will regret not taking pics with your lovely baby, so do try to take some. You don’t have to look at them now.

Other people will come along with better advice on weight loss, but I just wanted to come on here to say be kind to yourself.

Food is a comfort - be glad that’s where you seek comfort, and not in drugs and alcohol! You sound like you’ve had a tough time and a lot on your plate with a new baby, so try to have compassion for yourself.

Your body produced a gorgeous baby and is feeding your baby too! That’s amazing and beautiful. I think pp are right, maybe get yourself a couple of outfits that fit and make you feel ok, do go out and meet your friends for a cup of tea or coffee. If you can get some therapy that will really help too.

Wishing you the best op. You sound like a lovely person. Am sure you’re friends miss you!

@peonia thank you!

I do usually just have a fair sized meal in the evenings, and a snack around 3pm and 9pm - so I don’t normally eat outside of 3-9pm. Although I sometimes eat lunch at the weekend and I drink coffee etc during my fast hours so I’m not a 100% strict follower!

Ultimately it’s simply down to the fact I can’t eat a whole days worth of calories in my eating window and I get full much quicker now. Although my mum thinks I’m nuts it works for me!

^your friends, bloody autocorrect!

You deserve nice well fitting comfortable clothes right now so buy some things that fit the bill. Self hatred isn’t going to give you healthier habits, it’s got to come from a place of self care and kindness.

I won’t advise on weight loss and you’ve had some good suggestions already but you, as a woman, deserve to feel good about yourself, to look after yourself so what are you doing or what could you start doing that achieves that? Everyone is different but do you like doing your nails, nice skincare, a new haircut, do you like shoes or jewellery which you can still enjoy when you’ve lost some weight. Do you enjoy having fresh flowers in the house? They’re a few quid from the supermarket, add them to your shop! I was manic with an 8 month old and also breastfeeding, my husband is wonderful but I found that age far more exhausting than 8 weeks. It’s easy to let self care slip when you’re consumed by mumming. You know the way you’re “treating” yourself now with food you’re not even really enjoying or regret afterwards isn’t cherishing yourself so try and find other ways to do that. When you love your insides it’s easier to prioritise the health of your outside.

And have some photos taken! Be specific with your husband about the sort of photos you’re comfy with and delete any you don’t like but have some photos done.

You’ve gained some weight. It happens. You’re not a bad person! You’ve recently made a whole new person. That’s huge. You’re still nourishing her by feeding. Those are two incredible things you’ve done with your body in the last year. It’s currently heavier than you want, I’m not trying to diminish your feelings about it, but it’s strong, capable, your baby depends on it, try to appreciate what it’s done and can do and treat it well with decent nourishing food.

@KarlKennedysDurianFruit I usually follow 18/6 fasting so I usually eat between 3-9pm but not religiously! I do eat lunch on a Saturday and have a “break” on Saturdays in general as life would be miserable without a treat for me!

As long as I eat well Sunday- Friday I usually get a loss, and I weigh on Fridays before the weekend!

Well you won’t just wake up magically back to your pre pregnancy weight you’ll have to want to work at it and be strict with yourself. As soon as you’ve lost some you’ll be motivated keep at it.

I don’t weigh myself but it took me about 13-14 months to get back to my pre pregnancy size. Don’t stress it, be kind to yourself.

I don’t agree you necessarily have to diet or be strict, in some ways that can make you feel worse and backfire. Walk walk walk and try not to eat past feeling full. Try to drink enough fluids so you’re not dehydrated.

It took me a full year to get back to my pre baby weight both times. I also needed a bout of norovirus/coronavirus to shift those last few pounds.

I did slimming world which you can do when breastfeeding. You need to be careful while feeding that you don't crash diet.

I know how you feel though. I'd see other women with babies the same age as mine and they'd be tiny and half my size :(

You're being hard on yourself, you've just had a baby at a time when lots of other people are also struggling with weight gain and anxiety. So you're not alone. Take baby steps - cut out the crap, make the walks longer. Once you're in a good routine, cut out a little bit more of the food and make the carbs portion smaller while adding more veg. You'll get there just don't try and convince yourself it needs to be done overning because that's too daunting.

Firstly being a new mum is hard - secondly being a new mum in a pandemic is even harder, so just acknowledge that and don't heap blame on yourself, we have all done what we could to survive this crazy time!!

I've had a similar challenge and put on 4 stone since my pre baby weigh of baby #2 and I'm half way there on losing now - I felt so much in common with what you're saying. Well done on getting the therapy - it will help, bit by bit to get your confidence back.

I have found nothing makes me eat well on a continuous basis better than regularly exercising. I know what you're saying about not liking it, and I felt the same, but honestly it's changed my mental and physical state entirely. I go to a classes only gym and they make me work bloody hard for that 45 mins but then I will not comfort eat because it would undo that hard work!!! So it keeps me eating right and it's made me fitter and stronger - and weirdest of all, I bloody love it! It makes me so happy to have done a class then go about my day.

It's a step out of your comfort zone, but actually gives you the motivation!

Head over to the fasting section in weight and they will give more info on IF and whether it is workable with BF- but there are variations of it and they are small steps which can give big changes and every little step works towards a bigger step. Also check out the exercise section for some free YouTube recommendations. Even a little 1 10 min workout can build up to 20-30 min ones don’t underestimate starting small. Joe wicks ultimate beginner is fantastic and free! Don’t beat yourself up you can do this!!

Cut out the shit and go for a power walk every night. Every time you feel hungry or crave something, drink water or distract yourself by doing something else. Try and cut out as much bread/carbs as you can and replace with salad and protein. The 12:8 fasting window is good too

I was in exactly your position and could have written every bit of your post. I have lost almost 2 stone since the end of July doing the above. It felt hard for the first week but then it didn't. I was rewarding myself with chocolate and junk multiple times a week and was reluctant to let go of what I saw as my only treat (I have a toddler who doesn't sleep too) but I haven't missed it at all. I have worked out a series of non edible rewards instead - a magazine subscription, new makeup - and when I hit a goal I treat myself to something like that instead. Emotionally I am in control and feel a million times better