To make a complaint 15 months later (child birth)

[PurpleThistles84]

I had my fifth baby 15 months ago. It was a pretty awful labour. First four were spontaneous, textbook labours. The fifth they decided to induce me a couple of day’s after my due date. I had excessive amniotic fluid and they broke my waters to get things started.

Things progressed well but I began to experience very severe contractions. They were so bad my husband had to literally pin me to the bed. I felt very strongly that something was wrong but didn’t feel listened to. My baby began to get into distress so they wanted me to start pushing. I was pushing with everything I had but he wasn’t budging and I was told that if I stopped screaming (literally in agony) and concentrated more on pushing ‘properly’ he would be born.

Long story short, it didn’t matter how hard I pushed, his shoulders were stuck and he had the cord wrapped twice around his neck. Every time I pushed he wasn’t moving and I was in so much pain I honestly don’t think agony properly describes it. I was made to feel like I was being dramatic, was not offered any sort of pain relief and when I finally asked yet again for an epidural, they said it was too late.

My baby was born by ventouse, the cord cut before he was actually out because it was strangling him it was so tight. Again the ventouse was done with no pain relief at all.

20 or so minutes before he was born, an older midwife came in and expressed surprise that I did not have an IV in my hand. Apparently because I was high risk an IV should have been put in before I was even induced. She was very apologetic about having to put one in but I didn’t even feel it, it was nothing compared to the sheer agony I was in.

My baby was born completely rigid and in need of 10 inflation breaths to get him to start breathing on his own. At the time I was just so so grateful to them, that my baby was here and safe.

However in the months since, whilst that gratitude is most certainly still here, I’m saddened that my last experience of labour was so bad. I felt embarrassed, like I was a drama queen, that they were annoyed with me and I was terrified. When it became evident that my baby was in difficulty the older midwife said she knew something had to be wrong because I had had four kids previously and they were all surprised at how ‘badly’ I was handling labour. I felt completely unsupported, extremely vulnerable and alone.

Is it unreasonable of me to have decided I want to make a complaint so many months on? I don’t want an apology and I really am very grateful my baby is safe, but I would hate for another woman to experience the same thing.

You were not and are not dramatic. I want to thump medical professionals that spout this shit. Do they ever tell someone with a broken leg to stop screaming as it’ll heal quicker? No

Tbh I think there are a lot of medics like that. I went to A&E with a ankle & leg broken in 4 places. Was asked to walk on it, said I absolutely couldn't, got tutted at. Asked for pain relief, told I had to wait until after my X-ray. They clearly didn't believe the amount of pain I was in.

YANBU and to be honest after my first birth, I think they should have a review of the birth/process and take feedback on board after every birth because issues similar to yours seem so common.

But of course once you have your baby, you are so distracted by them and healing etc and you are often assumed to be so grateful for even the shittest care that you feel guilty for feeling otherwise.

Please do it on behalf of yourself and others who have to go through this shit care. I love the NHS and what it provides, but maternity care is wayyyyy off.

So sorry to hear about this and no it’s not too late to contact the hospital.

I had such a traumatic Labour and also felt like I wasn’t being listened to and my concerns were dismissed. It’s a long story but after I complained the investigation found many failings into the care I received. They did apologise but more importantly they changed several processes to try and ensure it didn’t happen again to anyone else.

Definitely complain - it sounds horrific and negligent. Ventouse with no epidural? Jesus. They should have listened to you.

Call a clin neg solicitor.

YABU to not have already put a complaint in. Your treatment was atrocious and you should have reported this as soon as you could. It is frightening that treatment like this happens and, whilst I know you have had a lot on your mind, the trust doesn’t have to investigate any complaint you make (hopefully they will), due to it now being over a year since it happened.

I don’t know if you would feel that this would be appropriate, but as it sounds like your ds’s developmental delay could be due to his traumatic birth, could you perhaps use that in your complaint? In effect, you have become aware of this within less than a year, therefore negating the fact that the incident was over a year ago, therefore the complaint would have to be investigated?

I don’t normally like the idea of complaining about the NHS (I feel that on the whole they do provide a really good service), as dealing with complaints and ensuing payouts takes money away, that could be used in other patient’s treatments and care. However, in your case, where your son is struggling like this (and you don’t know what the long term effect on him will be), I really think you should seek a solicitor that deals in cases of medical negligence.

Yes definitely do, nhs have a time limit to raise a complaint of 12 months (so I believe) - but you can challenge this if the experience left you feeling so bad that you had to process it before raising a concern.
There is another reason that you should too, not just because of the impact on you but also on your child too, you have pointed out some of the issues he has, and this may be due to his poor labour and support in this extremely important event.
I would also be going to a solicitor and running the problem by them - (medical negligence solicitors).
We had a terrible time with the nhs (if that's who you are dealing with?) with one of our children and what I can say is that we didn't receive any proper acknowledgement until we took it to a solicitor. Different trusts will respond differently though.

I can hand on heart say that I did not feel pain with the ventouse. Because the agony I was in from the contractions was so extreme, nothing else touched it. It wasn’t even the contractions themselves that were so painful, as they receeded, then the extreme pain began.

My baby had many issues after his birth. He had a tongue tie, severe reflux, constipation, torticollis resulting in an extremely flat head the pushed one side of his forehead forward and gave him different sized ears, he was absolutely miserable for the first 12 weeks of his life and incredibly high needs. It’s only now, that he has reached a stage where he is not so attached to me, that I’ve really been able to try to process what’s gone on.

So many women get fobbed off with that shit about it being too late (or too early) for an epidural. It might not be convenient or fiscally prudent or whatever, but it's bull from a medical standpoint and amounts to being told to shut up. It's worth saying something to add your voice to the chorus of complaints and especially as you have concerns about your DS. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/04/i-asked-three-times-for-an-epidural-why-are-women-being-denied-pain-relief#:~:text=%E2%80%9CIt's%20never%20too%20early%20and,too%20much%2C%E2%80%9D%20he%20adds.

Yes, absolutely your should!!! you need some closure. If it helps any, I made a complaint to PALS when my daughter was 11 months old, there we're a catalogue of errors during my labour and it was pure luck that nothing went seriously wrong, my MH suffered as a result and it was only when I brought it up with them that I began to move forward

I'm so sorry this happened to you. It sounds absolutely horrific. I think you should contact a solicitor. I hope you get the closure you need OP, you are definitely not being unreasonable here!

I did complain after a full debrief with a midwife. She seemed to think I had reason to and that's what prompted me to make the complaint, just within the 12 month window.

I won't go into details but, although I'm glad I complained and more details did emerge from their investigation, it didn't bring me the closure I thought it might. You might also want to consider some counselling for the birth trauma, or reach out to the Birth Trauma Association for support.

Good luck

Complain loudly and clearly and with a solicitor to help you.

I grow so damn sick of how often women's healthcare involves telling them they are over reacting, being dramatic, not trying hard enough - or what bullshit else they are told.

I hope you find some form of closure and can move past it, horrific though it sounds

Please complain!

I wish I had done 10 years ago. I nearly died of sepsis. The midwives didn't even bother with the colour chart (2 yellow observations doctor, one red doctor). Wasn't even my notes anyway they'd swapped them with another lady.

1-2 years ago they suspected a young doctor of being an angel of death. But the lady who nearly killed me was older, shorter and it brought back so many memories. I wish I had complained maybe it would have helped the investigation.

I'm having my 3rd baby at the same hospital potentially. After having my second at home with one-to-one midwives and it being amazing.
Care is still shocking at the hospital it's affecting my mental health.

I was birth partner to my BF and she had a terrible experience, where she and baby very nearly died. There was a whole catalogue of errors and failings and she is lucky to be alive (their words). It was traumatic enough for me, I can't begin to imagine being in her place. Anyway we both attended the debrief and the consultant present made excuse after excuse for all the issues raised.

The health visitors BF saw post-birth encouraged her to sue as they agreed women in labour are treated like crap at our particular Trust, they'd had far too many complaints and negative experiences to make them isolated incidents. Frustratingly BF decided not to sue and felt ready to put it all behind her. Her choice of course. But OP, if you feel you want to take it further please do. It's never too late.

I had my babies at a different Trust, with DC1 I also had a ventouse delivery and was refused an epidural, it being 'too late' despite me asking for one very early on. DC was very distressed before and after birth. It's just rubbish how women are treated

I've had a ventouse for a baby with the cord twice around his neck, half an hour after arriving at the hospital in labour that turned out to be a lot further along than I'd thought and after them breaking my waters and finding meconium in them. So genuinely no time for pain relief. It was my experience too that the ventouse caused no more pain than I was in otherwise. It was what they needed to do to get the baby out - but in my case they acted as soon as they could (and my ds was correspondingly fine), in yours they could and should have acted a lot, lot sooner. That rather than the ventouse seems to me to be the sticking point, and it absolutely merits a complaint. It's nothing short of scandalous that they endangered you and your baby because they'd decided you were making a fuss and not to listen to you, lecturing you about pushing 'properly' (ffs, my third baby was out in two pushes before the doctor even realised, they should have realised that someone having a fifth after four textbook labours struggling like that means something is very likely wrong - but no, it's blame the woman ).

You are not being unreasonable at all, that sounds awful and so I’m so sorry that happened to you I think it’s worth complaining, especially if it can bring you closure and stop it happening to anyone else.

For me, the whole experience of having a baby was just marred by the complete lack of aftercare. The way you are just fobbed off by the midwives and health visitors like you are just supposed to “get over it” when you are feeling fairly traumatised is terrible

I had a similar experience and had a face to face meeting with the midwife manager a couple of months later.She listened but it was a case of "let's agree to disagree" She was very much on her midwifes side.

Just to add i had pnd and ptsd for a year afterwards because of the experience

@AriesTheRam I had the same. It enraged me and that’s when I got in touch with a solicitor. At least that got the outcome I’d hoped for and closure for me.

I was told in both my pregnancies in 2018 and 2020, not to scream. In fact, ordered not to scream by a midwife and a consultant.

I still am amazed these instructions are given.

*This was in Labour I should add

Also with regards to your thoughts on the developmental delays.

It might be worth looking into a chiropractor that specialises in pediatrics.
A traumatic birth can absolutely lead to what you describe.

I appreciate some see it as hocus pocus but it really can help.