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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Primary School closed bubble expected to wear school uniform at home for video calls

269 replies

BrainAyche · 04/10/2020 18:26

YABU - they should wear school uniform at home for video calls
YANBU -let them wear their own (appropriate) clothes for home learning

My primary age child's school bubble has closed. They'll be having some video calls/lessons with school, and he's just told me they will have to wear uniform for the video meetings.
AIBU to think that is a bit daft? Unnecessary? OTT?

While I generally agree that uniform for schools is a good idea, for us personally, it is a faff and not having to nag my awkward child to put it on and hang it up every day would be a tiny perk to the challenging two weeks that is ahead of us.

AIBU to think stuff it, and let him wear what he wants?

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 05/10/2020 10:35

I'm amazed schools were saying pjs were fine, with my safeguarding hat on I would be questioning that.

In what way do normal primary age pjs present a safeguarding risk?

MsEllany · 05/10/2020 10:52

I don’t think it’s too hard to believe that If a child goes to a school with a uniform, then wearing that uniform makes them feel more ‘at school’ than not? Fine if your school doesn’t, but then your kids are used to it.

And as I’m pretty sure @BrainAyche is discussing a primary school, I hardly think there will be any enforcing. It’s to maintain that connection between school and work when possibly sitting in your bedroom when you’re a young child and not used to a more independent work scheme.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 05/10/2020 10:55

"I just don’t think the schools authority extends to my children in my home."

^^ this. And I'm stunned that people are so eager to comply with un-neccessary overreaching like this that someone will have thought up and probably not thought through.

rookiemere · 05/10/2020 10:57

@AldiAisleofCrap honestly I'm fairly ambivalent what DS wears for home schooling.
But based on the mixed provision of schooling that nearly broke me through worry about DSs education through the last lockdown, if I were told that full days online education were the plan I'd honestly be crying with gratitude and having to wear school uniform would be an irrelevance.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/10/2020 11:02

The pjs a 4 year old may wear will probably differ from what a Y6 may wear, but probably best to have a blanket ban of pjs.

A year ago I could not imagine parents thinking it would be fine a teacher having a video call with their child whist their child sat in their pjs in their bedroom!

AldiAisleofCrap · 05/10/2020 11:03

@rookiemere
But based on the mixed provision of schooling that nearly broke me through worry about DSs education through the last lockdown, if I were told that full days online education were the plan I'd honestly be crying with gratitude and having to wear school uniform would be an irrelevance.
That’s fair enough sorry your school wasn’t supportive. It’s horribly unfair that both my dc’s state primary and high school were able to deliver classes over teams and zoom and a full 9-3 timetable and others just sent out links to twinkle et al.

QueenBlueberries · 05/10/2020 11:06

Are we going to constantly complain about whatever decisions schools make now? This is sooo tiring. Just get your kids to wear the uniform and get on with it. The reasoning is simple - make the pupils feel like they are still learning, part of the school, it's a school day not a holiday, etc. Makes the kids at school feel like the ones at home are not on a jolly.

earthyfire · 05/10/2020 11:12

I would also assume it is so children don't rock up in PJs - my eldest had music lessons during homeschooling and there were a few rules for safe guarding purposes including no PJs to be worn, calls not to be in the bedroom etc. All very sensible.

lazylinguist · 05/10/2020 11:12

People who are going on about the uniform providing a necessary feeling of belonging or protecting teachers from seeing children in inappropriate clothing- how do you think they manage in most of Europe, the USA and Canada?

I can see that uniform is exciting for primary age children when they first start school, but the vast majority of children would surely rather be wearing their own clothes, especially at home.

After over 20 years' teaching experience in a variety of schools, I am hugely sceptical about the claim that uniform makes kids 'respect the ethos of the school', 'feel part of the school community' or 'feel as though they are respresenting their school'. That's all marketing-speak from the school, I'm afraid, and doesn't represent what the vast majority of kids actually think about uniform at all.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/10/2020 11:13

@QueenBlueberries, that is my point, it is like parents always have to complain.

Some schools will be doing mixed lessons, so some at home some in school, so surely best that they all wear uniform. That is what DS's school is doing, any children that are currently at home self isolating are being included in the lessons, as the lessons are being beamed from the classroom as the teacher is teaching the remainder of the class. I don't think the rest of the class would be too impressed if the child at home is sitting there in their pjs and scoffing breakfast whilst they have to be sitting properly at their desks.

Comtesse · 05/10/2020 11:14

Yes we should be just fine complaining constantly about schools when they make stupid decisions. It is dictatorial and unnecessary - massive overreach is right.

Grobagsforever · 05/10/2020 11:16

[quote Ecosse]@Grobagsforever

Parents agree to abide by a school’s policies when they enrol their D.C. there.

In the same way as schools can make DC do homework, they get to decide on the dress code when DC are attending live lessons with school staff.

This sounds like a school with excellent high standards and I’d hope the headteacher would take strong action against any parent who refused to co-operate with the school’s policy on wearing uniform.[/quote]
@Ecosse

LOL.

Do tell me what action a head could possibly take against a parent? Lines? Detention?

It's ok to love rules and authority but leave the rest of us out if it.

lazylinguist · 05/10/2020 11:19

I don't think the rest of the class would be too impressed if the child at home is sitting there in their pjs and scoffing breakfast whilst they have to be sitting properly at their desks.

What's to stop them 'scoffing' breakfast in their school uniforms? Besides, it would be perfectly easy and reasonable for the school to just ask that children be dressed and not in their pyjamas, without needing to insist on school uniform in their own homes.

BlusteryShowers · 05/10/2020 11:20

My initial reaction was that it's ridiculous, but having read some posts I can see the point about making it feel more like "work time" and help them feel part of the school community even at home.

If that's their reasoning I think it would have been beneficial to explain that though, so that it doesn't just seem stupid.

HollywoodHandshake · 05/10/2020 11:24

There are 2 kind of parents:

the ones who don't really agree, but roll their eyes, get on with it and focus on what is important for the children - children tend to do very well as are well supported.

the ones who don't agree but think they have to make a stand to show their own importance, waste everybody's time and make a fool of themselves. Children don't tend to do that well as there's no support for what really matters, parents thinking they know best and everybody else is an idiot.

If you don't like school uniform, send your kid to a school without one. Or home ed for good. No one is forcing you to register with a specific school you don't agree with.

lazylinguist · 05/10/2020 11:24

In the same way as schools can make DC do homework, they get to decide on the dress code when DC are attending live lessons with school staff.

Do they though? I'm really not sure that's the case tbh.

This sounds like a school with excellent high standards and I’d hope the headteacher would take strong action against any parent who refused to co-operate with the school’s policy on wearing uniform.

Grin Utterly ridiculous. What kind of 'strong action' do you propose. Btw, excessive rigidity about uniform is no measure of how good a school is or whether it has 'excellent high standards'in other regards. There are excellent schools which Shock have no uniform at all.

ineedaholidaynow · 05/10/2020 11:25

But is being asked to wear a school jumper worthy of something to complain about.

Unfortunately there are many parents who don't seem to have any common sense, so would be quite happy for their child to sit their in their underwear, clothes with rude slogans on etc. Instead of having to explain to parents in great detail what constitutes appropriate clothing (because lets face it there will be many trying to bend the rules) it is much easier to just say wear your school jumper.

HollywoodHandshake · 05/10/2020 11:27

Besides, it would be perfectly easy and reasonable for the school to just ask that children be dressed and not in their pyjamas, without needing to insist on school uniform in their own homes.

HAHAHA
funny.

if you think the people who are too important for school uniform at home during a video call will accept "the school to tell them what to wear, who do you think they are, in my own house innit" you are very naively optimistic.

When people find it appropriate to wear pjs to do the school run or go to the supermarket, no chance in hell will they dress their own kids appropriately.

It's the same ones who refuse the uniform in the first place anyway.

HollywoodHandshake · 05/10/2020 11:28

There are excellent schools which shock have no uniform at all.

they do have a dress code though.

It's easier to deal with a straightforward uniform...

unmarkedbythat · 05/10/2020 11:42

There are 2 kind of parents:

he ones who don't really agree, but roll their eyes, get on with it and focus on what is important for the children - children tend to do very well as are well supported.

the ones who don't agree but think they have to make a stand to show their own importance, waste everybody's time and make a fool of themselves. Children don't tend to do that well as there's no support for what really matters, parents thinking they know best and everybody else is an idiot.

No, there's a third kind. Those who don't agree, but ensure their children comply with the rules anyway whilst they take action behind the scenes, who question and politely challenge and won't be bullied into shutting up and accepting idiocy because someone else thinks that everyone who doesn't do so is wasting time and making a fool of themselves. I wonder how well their children do?

QueenBlueberries · 05/10/2020 11:45

Some schools have no uniform at all. That's fine, no problem, wear something non uniformy problem solved. If the school has a uniform policy, the kids wear it. It's pretty simple stuff.

lazylinguist · 05/10/2020 11:45

if you think the people who are too important for school uniform at home during a video call will accept "the school to tell them what to wear, who do you think they are, in my own house innit" you are very naively optimistic

If you think they won't obey the 'no pyjamas' rule, why do you think they will obey the 'wear school uniform' rule? Whatever rule you impose, there may be parents/kids who disobey it. That's not an argument for saying they have to wear uniform at home.

Besides, thinking it is unnecessary and silly to make kids wear school uniform at home does not mean you think you're 'too important', or even that you will disobey the rules. I uphold the rules (including uniform rules) of schools where I teach and the school my dc attend. That doesn't mean I'm not allowed to disagree with them in principle.

As it happens, my dh is on the senior leadership team of the school my dc go to. I expect he would laugh like a drain at the idea of making the students wear uniform for Zoom lessons. Because it's a stupid idea.

It's easier to deal with a straightforward uniform.

Says who? Are you a teacher?

unmarkedbythat · 05/10/2020 11:45

if you think the people who are too important for school uniform at home during a video call will accept "the school to tell them what to wear, who do you think they are, in my own house innit" you are very naively optimistic.

This is a very unpleasant and strangely aggressive attitude. "Too important"? What has thinking oneself important got to do with believing a school rule is unnecessarily petty and adds no value whatsoever? Your choice of wording does suggest that you are a raging snob, though innit Hmm.

lazylinguist · 05/10/2020 11:46

Exactly, unmarkedbythat. Well said.

If the school has a uniform policy, the kids wear it.

At school, yes.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 05/10/2020 11:48

"In the same way as schools can make DC do homework, they get to decide on the dress code when DC are attending live lessons with school staff."

That's just not true. At least not at primary level re homework or uniform (not legal to be compulsory). And there is no way the school can or should enforce the wearing of uniform in the home. It wasn't in the "homeschool agreement".If they chose to exclude children they would be on very shaky ground, and I suspect 99% of sensible schools would be like "ok whatevs", given the particularly trying circumstances of the times.