To carry on TTC?

[User637281]

Posting here for traffic and some more varied points of view than I might get on the Conception board.

DP and I (late 30s) have been TTC our first for 5 months. We own our small 1 bed flat & have some modest savings and little debt.

It's now become clear that I could be made redundant in the next few months, and obviously if I did fall pregnant between now and then it would be a lot harder to go on and find another job.

I'm completely torn between pausing our TTC journey until things are clearer, and ploughing ahead anyway as due to our ages we don't have time to waste, and it would be a shame to lose 3 or 4 months when actually I might ultimately not be made redundant at all.

If pregnancy and redundancy aligned then DP could support us all day to day on his salary, but it would be extremely difficult for us to buy a bigger place if I wasn't working; unless we sold up and moved to a much cheaper area, which isn't totally out of the question I suppose.

DP by the way is keen to carry on, he's very much an optimistic 'what will be will be and we'll deal with as it comes' type where I'm more of a planner/worrier.

Can I ask what you would advise a friend in my situation? Please be gentle, the struggle between my heart and my head over this is real 🙏🏻

Plough on. 100%.

As someone who took the best part of four years to conceive my son I would definitely carry on TTC

Keep TTC. He can provide for you and you do not have time to waste, that would cover it for me.
Best luck!

There’s never a right time, and always a good reason to delay. You don’t know how long it’ll take you to conceive, or if you’ll be made redundant. If you’re able to manage on your DP’s salary then go for it!

Agree with PP, keep trying!

Carry on. Things aren't always perfect when you have a baby but you can usually make it work. In terms of space, it would be a few years until you would desperately need more space.

Thank you all. You're tipping the balance towards my heart!

Having been fiercely independent my whole life I think I'm a bit frightened by the idea of potentially having to be dependent on DP for everything, but appreciate that actually in the grand scheme of things I'm lucky to be able to rely on him x

Keep going!
I am also a planner/worrier, but what I think you really want is someone to come in and validate following your heart. OP...its ok, follow your heart.
Sometimes the 'it doesn't matter too much if this isn't our month as it's not the best time' mindset is just the bit of take-the
-pressure-off magic needed to make it happen. And if it does, I don't think you'll mind one bit. Good luck x

Thanks @Kimblebee19, I think that's exactly what I'm looking for!

Nobody in RL knows we're TTC (or about the redundancy threat) so I can't seek the opinion of anyone else and have a decency to drive myself mad with what ifs!

Carry on TTC but put your 1 bed on the market now and try and trade up to a 2 bed while you’re still in work- you’ll get a mortgage and then won’t worry about space if you do conceive.

Just go for it!
For me, my children are worth more than a bigger house, fancy clothes etc. You'll manage and you'll have a ball.

@VestaTilley That's something we could think about but unfortunately during Covid I've been on a reduced salary so the mortgage we could secure now would be considerably less than on my usual/potential future income.

It's definitely worth us doing some calculations though and keeping our eyes on the market.

Def continue

took 10yrs ttc and 5 private ivf to get our daughter now 3.5

Was 33 and gave birth at almost 44

Hopefully won’t take you so long

You could get preg in next few months. 9mths preg and baby can be in your room for a year or two if needs be

Then you can move to a larger place and get better jobs etc

Keep on. You are in a better position than many and there will never be a time that is completely free of uncertainty.

I'd carry on at your age. Whilst it will most likely be fine, when you're old, I think you would regret not having a child and not doing everything you could to have one, more than youd regret not being employed for a year or so in a stable relationship

I would carry on. It will be quiet some time until a bigger space is necessary. Wishing you both the best of luck

Definitely keep TTC...it took us 2.5 years to conceive and I am now late 30s and preggers. I tried (and failed) to have my career all lined up where I wanted it before I got pregnant but when it took ages and then Covid hit all those plans went tits up...I’m now pregnant and unemployed and not eligible for any mat leave. But ultimately getting pregnant was the most important thing so in the end I am really happy!

100% keep trying is there ever a right time to have a baby?
Me & partner waited as had a holiday booked then wedding then all ended up being cancelled due to corona fell pregnant straight away which led to miscarriage unfortunately when I look back I could of been trying for so much longer if I had known everything would of got cancelled you just never know what around the corner & if it's something you want go for it!!