To be bored bored bored

[Millymootoo]

So bored! Partner's worked from home since march. Kids have obviously been home but ones now back at school.

Im just bored stiff. I am bored in my relationship. He's woken up with another bad head. I get bad heads twice a month due to hormone changes. But he's constantly abit off. I think it's due to the fact he works at a laptop all day. Falls asleep on the sofa and stays up until the early hours watching Tele alone. Then it ruins his energy for the next day. So we get tired, boring and headachy dad/partner most weekends.

It's pissing it down with rain. So I'm sat in the living room watching Peppa pig with the kids.i feel like poking my eyes out. I just want more than all of this.

I love my kids. But I'm so bored of only ever being a parent. No I don't currently work. I plan to find a job in 18 months time when my son's at school and I can't work around the school day.

Hobbies are something I don't currently have and tbh I don't know what I could even get into due to the fact I'm constantly on mum duty.

I'm so over 2020. We are on reduced money too and trying to be responsible and not go out mixing too much. But God it's lonely.

Leave the kids with Peppa Pig, grab your laptop and play an online game. Hack and slash your way through mobs, investigate dungeons, hone skills like crafting, mining, making jewellery, farming, etc. Go for it.

Why not do some online training of some sort? You could add that to your CV when you look for work.

Get outdoors, even in the rain, for a short time - it changes your state of mind. Make it mandatory for the whole family.
Come home, plan a nice meal together & cook, everyone playing their part. Then play a board game.

I know it's boring at the moment & hard to motivate yourself but do the above & I guarantee you'll feel better x

YANBU OP.

It sounds tough. Could you insist you all go out from about 2pm for a walk somewhere or bowling (sorry, not sure if you said whether you’re on local lockdown or not?) but I always find a long walk, followed by a bit of lunch out somewhere can lift my mood a bit. Or a walk and then when the kids are in bed tonight, wine and a takeaway?

If your life is purely ‘being mum’ atm then you will be feeling bored, it’s boring just being mum. FWIW, I’m bored today, don’t have kids but for once don’t have any plans apart from cleaning the house, it’s miserable outside and Yeh, I just feel really bored tbh.

Re your husband, he needs to start getting to bed earlier, getting up earlier and helping you with the kids. He needs to be participating in family life, otherwise what’s the point? Are you happy in your marriage? If not, you may be better off as a single parent with him having the kids each weekend so you can actually have some you time! Doesn’t sound like you get much atm despite having another adult around to supposedly share the load.

If you’re not in lockdown; why not try and organise something with a friend next weekend, lunch out, or early dinner out and then a couple of drinks? I know you said you are trying to be careful with money so if that’s not possible, invite a friend over for a bit and ask your husband to entertain the kids? I don’t know, if you’re bored you have to be proactive in trying to change it somehow. Good luck!

Read to your children. Play a board game. Make biscuits with them. Learn a foreign language. Do some gardening. Help an elderly neighbour. Be grateful for your lot.

I'm still furloughed, while DH goes to work (he's working today) but on his days off it feels like he is always tired/feeling ill. I have 1 child with autism who hates leaving the house, daily battles to get him to school and now my youngest has started school, I'm at home by myself all day as all my friends are back to work and I'm sooooo bored. I hate not working and feel like all I am at the moment is Mum/wife - I feel like I've lost "me" over the last 6 months. I've become irritable and snappy, as I'm constantly worried about losing my job and I don't like myself very much at the moment at all. I just don't know how to get out of this rut I've found myself in.

I am bored. Since getting up this morning at 7am, we have baked a cake, done finger painting, built a train track, been out in the garden and read 8 books. Luckily DH is "on duty" this afternoon and I think I'll just go back to sleep.

Why not try some volunteering? Leave the kids behind and go and make a difference. It will up your skills and hopefully help you have a bit of time for yourself.

Look for work on partners days off?

You need to take responsibility for your own happiness. There's lots you could do to improve your situation.

Find a course to do.
Do some voluntary work. (food bank, environmental, local hospital??)
Join an group. (Cycling, running, rambling, football, )
Learn a new skill (Crochet, sewing, drawing, ???_)
Have a date night.

It sounds like you need exercise. We just went for a long, damp walk in the woods - admittedly having a dog means I've got no choice but it was great. I'd feel awful mentally and physically if I didn't get out there twice a day.

Op, was there anything you loved doing as a kid? Anything at all?

Can you get a weekend job? Then your husband will have no choice but to parent.

Go and get a hobby. There's lots of free fitness classes online that you can do around your children.

Get outdoors, even in the rain, for a short time - it changes your state of mind

I completely agree with this. Before covid I was never an outdoor kind of person, but since March I've been out walking regularly to beat the boredom. And it's true, it really lifts my spirits rain or shine. I feel a bit healthier too. It's good advice. In

Try logging on to Future Learn...free online courses on all sorts of topics. Some short, some bit longer but once you’ve logged onto to ‘start’ its open for access for about 6 weeks. I’m in the middle of one on Imposter Sydrome but have done a real good mix.
Audio books might be worth a try too....register with local library and then access on your phone and plug in whilst ‘watching’ peppa pig or out for a solo walk..?

And have you spoken to your partner about this? Have you told him you’d like to work, have a hobby, etc.?

I think you all need some fresh air, exercise, and a reasonable bedtime hour (your DP particularly). And he needs to cut down on screen time, it can mess with your sleep. Hang in there!

Can you take a bath or a nice long shower. I always feel better after a shower and when I do my hair. Go the shops and get something tasty to eat for dinner and a little treat. Bring the duvet downstairs and watch a movie with popcorn. Just short term ideas but might help today. ♥️

Sounds like your partner is bored too. In fact you both sound mildly depressed, which is understandable. Alot of people are feeling the same way these days.

You need to give your relationship a kick in the bum as it seems like you are living separate lives even though you are stuck together more than ever. Hes either working or watching tv alone and your with the kids. Sit your partner down and tell him the constant grumpy attitude has to stop. The whole household shouldnt have to live in an atmosphere because of his never ending bad mood. Ask him what's really bothering him because something is. The bad head is just a weak excuse. Hes probably feeling the same way you are.

Start having date nights. A movie, bottle of wine and a take away 1 night a week after the kids have gone to bed.

I read a quote that 'only boring people get bored' and I never dared complain about being bored again!
What did you enjoy doing before being wife/mum, when you could choose to do what you wanted? Have been asking myself recently "what do I enjoy?!' Might be worth making a fresh brew and thinking what you'd like to do for you, and ways you can carve out the time?
Music, singing, painting, drawing, reading, crafting, walking, baking, writing, an exercise class, learning a new skill... Have recently taken up horse riding again after a 20 year break and I'm LOVING it - Saturday morning is now my time and I come back buzzing and exhilarated. Something to look forward to for the whole week.
What could make you feel a sense of excitement and achievement?

I hear ya.

@Oysterbabe

You need to take responsibility for your own happiness. There's lots you could do to improve your situation.

This. As a lone parent of 3 primary children, who has to work full time to keep a roof over our heads, including during lockdown, I am honestly a bit sick of these kinds of complaints on here.

You say your youngest starts school next year, is he not at nursery now? Is so YAB even more U as you have some time. If not, does he nap? Can you not get a lot of the jobs done with him there, so you have time in the evenings? There are a ton of affordable online courses and more.

Or if you have no hobbies, start knitting during Peppa pig, or something at night, or play a computer game like.a pp suggested. Or use the time to talk to your DH so you don't end up in a situation like mine and LONGING to be bored instead of barely coping and exhausted.

I get exactly what you are saying!

I don't really understand boredom. I'm literally never bored. I could sit in a room all day on my own with no tv or phone and not be bored.

But... having demands made of you all the time and no free time to yourself, that's different, and must definitely be frustrating. Like people have said, there are lots of hobby type things you could do from home. Or go out more with the kids - meet up with someone else with small dc etc. Doesn't have to cost money.