To think a child's challenging behaviour will get easier?

[Mumofsend]

DD is 6 with diagnosis of ASD, ADHD, SPD, APD, speech disorder and Hypermobility. Her behaviour is insanely difficult. I can't take her and her sibling out alone as she runs off constantly. When she's happy and excited she attacks me, when she's upset or high anxiety she attacks me. She is so all over the place we can go from extremes of emotions and back again several times in a 20 minute period. She's unpredictable. She doesn't sleep.

She's just about hanging on in mainstream with 32.5 dedicated 1-1 And absolutely not allowed to be left unsupervised within close distance at any point during the school day. She has a CHAD social worker but no respite hours.

She is also funny, insanely loving, affectionate, brilliantly intelligent, creative and independent. It's just so tough.

Everyone says it will get easier but it is just getting tougher. I'm starting to lose a bit of faith. Aibu to hope it will get easier?

I can only give my own experience but I have a 9yo DS withASD and ADHD and things now are definitely better than when he was 6! He only got a 1to1 just before lockdown but would have needed her a lot more 3 years ago than he does now. He can be a bit difficult at times but it is nothing compared to how things were!

Sorry thanks to the half of bottle of wine I’ve had tonight I forgot to answer your AIBU YANBU to hope it will get easier! I really hope things will get better for you.
DS has been back at school for a full month and I have had 0 calls from school about his behaviour so far, that would have been inconceivable a year ago!

I used to put reins on my son to stop him running off. They were very effective. Made it so much easier when going out. I think he was about ten when I stopped using them

Sound very difficult, I’m sorry. To be blunt, I’m just wondering whether medications are being considered as that can make a major difference for the behavioural aspects related to ADHD. Obviously more difficult when there are additional difficulties. I just think loads of parents struggle on because they are anxious about medicating a child but sometimes it makes a real difference

My eldest is now 34 my youngest 22, both have multiple SEN. It changes. Them being in their teens brings a whole new set of issues. As they want independence, if there's a level of vulnerability etc, it's scary. It can be less physically demanding, but more mentally and emotionally draining.

I went down the medication route when my DD was 13. We both agree that it was the right decision. It was as she was going to high school and wanted to come home on the bus. He impulsiveness and lack of danger were a real worry. As well as her tendency to go on the attack when stressed.

The 9-13 age may be v tough due to hormones going mad. Sounds like you're doing an amazing job and you're well tuned in to her. Not what you want to hear, but yes, it will probably be tougher for the next 10 or so years. She's lovely, but you do need to be getting support in place (IM me - I have friends and relations dealing with similar - if you can start preparing now, it'll keep your head above water) (and EDS plus ADHD go together xxxx)

Get some support in place for out of school hours

Research residential schools which can offer 24/7 structure and timetable junior secondary

Dont discount meds

Presume you using visual timetables etc?