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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I a bitch?

4 replies

Keepgoing88 · 02/10/2020 19:36

A few times recently my husband has been saying 'he never cries but today made him---' I've wondered if he is depressed but he doesn't seem to think so altho I think it's a lot to do with the constant working from home he now is stuck with. I'm so busy with work and the kids, often coming home to the house being am actual state and just spending most of my free time cleaning up and cooking. I've been encouraging him to go out, stay the night at his parents who he gets on well with just to get not just him a break from our house but also Me. Tonight he told me In front of the kids to stay away from him when I half joked that may be he has had enough of childcare as he had the kids today for a bit whilst I worked. The thing is he often does go out, in fact he just went swimming on his own whilst my son had his swimming lesson. He just said how about a little bit of emotional support so I said fine I'll have all the kids just do what you need to do and he then stropped off. The things he finds overwhelming like watching the kids for a few hours I do regularly and feel I just have to get on with it. I just don't know if I'm being harsh on him or he needs to man up a bit. I'm sat here crying and just feel really lonely Nd like I've done something wrong. I find life hard but I am just trying to get on with it best as possible. I came back from work and there were finger prints all over walls and food everywhere, nothing had been tidied away or cleaned no dinner made and he was like omg it's been so hard. Sorry just needed to rant

OP posts:
romeolovedjulliet · 02/10/2020 19:51

what about your mental health as you seem to be carrying the load for everyone ? he's probably fed up wfh but that is not an excuse to take it out on you and the dc. if he was depressed it's unlikely he'd want to go out much so that seems to be an excuse to leave you to it.
have you both sat down and talked about this in depth ?

CSIblonde · 02/10/2020 19:52

It sounds like he's not coping well with WFH. Some people need adult , social contact every day. Maybe he misses his peers at work so a night at his Mum & Dad just isn't the same? Maybe you should both have a glass of wine & a chat & get to the bottom of it.

Keepgoing88 · 02/10/2020 20:28

I think you are both right in ways I think he does need that adult interaction. Will try and chat it out!

OP posts:
Keepgoing88 · 02/10/2020 20:30

The part I hate is how he treats me when he has had a bad day. If he didn’t seem to take things out on me I’d be more sympathetic I think. I feel like he does get a lot of space and encouragement from me when he needs but he obviously does not feel the same. Sometimes I dream of just leaving but I’m not sure that’s the best course of action

OP posts:
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