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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Mean spirited about bedbugs?

13 replies

UptightBugbight · 02/10/2020 18:26

Name changed for this as can't decide whether I'm being mean spirited or sensible.
DD works from home, giving treatments as a therapist (won't specify as possibly outing). A room is converted to treatment room (covid secure).
A friend who recently left her rented accommodation after contracting a bedbug infestation, and had to get rid of a lot of their things as a result, has requested a session. I am feeling on edge about it; am scared a little straggler, or a sprinkling of eggs, is going to hitch-hike into my house, and I'll never sleep again. I haven't actually seen this friend for almost a year, but we're periodically in touch over the phone, which is how I know. Now I'm sure anyone who has the misfortune to 'catch' bed bugs does everything they possibly can to make sure they are eliminated, but they are resilient little things and notoriously hard to get rid of. I know I will worry loads if my friend comes here, walks through my house and puts down her clothes and bag for an hour, given it's only been a short while since she walked out on a very badly infested flat.
I know that, technically, anyone who comes here for treatments could bring anything into the house, but I feel I am tempting fate.
AIBU to call friend to tell her how I feel, or would that be really mean-spirited, given what she's been through?

OP posts:
MrsPerfect12 · 02/10/2020 18:28

Oooh such a hard one. I wouldn't know what to do either.

Aquamarine1029 · 02/10/2020 18:33

She wouldn't be coming into my home, I can tell you that. I normally love bugs and spiders, am not a germaphobe in any way, but I would 100% lose my shit if I got bedbugs in my home. I have known of too many absolute horror stories to even be remotely "chill" about it. Give me fleas any day over bedbugs.

Noconceptofnormal · 02/10/2020 19:02

I think I ultimately wouldn't want her in my house either, it's too much of a risk.

I think covid gives a convenient excuse, just tell her your DD is not taking on new clients atm as she wants to prevent any risks etc. Or just say that she's really booked up for the next few weeks and hope that she finds someone else.

Maybe warn DD in case she contacts her directly,but it's not worth it for her either. If bedbugs were left in her therapy room and then someone caught them from her doing a session then she'd struggle to build her reputation again in the same area.

Leaannb · 02/10/2020 19:03

Another vote for not in my house. I jad a bedbugs one time. It costed me thousands for the repeated heat treatment. So it's a hard no for me. Talk to your daughter and tell her to cancel the appointment

altiara · 02/10/2020 19:07

Definite no way!

UptightBugbight · 02/10/2020 23:22

Thank you. It's a relief to hear you'd be similarly uneasy. I am not particularly squeamish about much, but have a fear of bed bugs, probably after coming across threads about them on MN. I'm sorry you have had to deal with them, Leaannb. I don't want my friend to feel judged or hurt, but I don't think I would be able to stop worrying if she came.

OP posts:
MJMG2015 · 02/10/2020 23:25

I wouldn't let her.

Bed bugs worry me as they're SO hard to get rid of properly.

Leaannb · 02/10/2020 23:46

@UptightBugbight

Thank you. It's a relief to hear you'd be similarly uneasy. I am not particularly squeamish about much, but have a fear of bed bugs, probably after coming across threads about them on MN. I'm sorry you have had to deal with them, Leaannb. I don't want my friend to feel judged or hurt, but I don't think I would be able to stop worrying if she came.
She shouldn't feel judged or hurt...They are so easy to get. Shopping,riding public transport, hotels etc...I got them from a client's home. So easy to get yet so hard (expensive) to completely get rid of. Not to mention the time. It takes more than 1 treatment
scotsllb · 02/10/2020 23:54

No! YANBU once you've got them you can never truly eradicate them as they lay dormant.
However I wouldn't state the reason.
They are seriously the worst things ever and can mess with your mental health.
She will no doubt be feeling awful and traumatised by the infestation and will be trying to put it behind her now she has moved etc, telling her she can't come due to that might make her feel really awful.
I would use covid as an excuse.

FannyIsNotMyAunt · 02/10/2020 23:56

My DH used to regularly visit cruise ships in his line of work. One had a bed bug infestation. I have never known someone exercise more caution about returning home, he literally stripped naked in the garden (!) emptied every single thing he owned onto the patio, handed me everything that would go in the tumble dryer, apparently 30 minutes on a hot tumble does kill them and the eggs, went and had a shower, anything that couldn't be tumbled got thrown out.
This was all following the instructions of the pest controller guy. They get into any crevice and are extremely difficult to get rid of.
So in short, no she wouldn't be welcome unfortunately.

Mintlegs · 03/10/2020 00:07

Could you say your daughter has strained her back? She has a phobia about COVID but you could meet your friend in the garden or a local cafe?

Leaannb · 03/10/2020 00:09

@scotsllb

No! YANBU once you've got them you can never truly eradicate them as they lay dormant. However I wouldn't state the reason. They are seriously the worst things ever and can mess with your mental health. She will no doubt be feeling awful and traumatised by the infestation and will be trying to put it behind her now she has moved etc, telling her she can't come due to that might make her feel really awful. I would use covid as an excuse.
Yes you can. Ots very,very difficult and even more expensive but it can be done
MissMarplesHandbag · 03/10/2020 00:13

No, YANBU.
Use Covid as the perfect excuse - less appointments as more time required in between to sterilise, so no availability for ages.

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