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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are tutors worth it?

64 replies

Suziee37 · 02/10/2020 18:09

Really debating whether to get a tutor for DD. She’s 6 years old but very weak in reading. I’m having a meeting with class teacher next week so going to ask her opinion too. What’s your thoughts shall I get a tutor or order those workbooks I’ve seen in shops for her year group and maybe try to do a little reading every night with her?

I feel if I take some time out and actually sit with her she could improve. But I’m also tempted with tutoring. I’ve never had one and never considered one for DD as she’s so young. Opinions please I’m so confused

OP posts:

justasmalltownmum · 02/10/2020 22:27

Get this book from
Amazon, it's called: how to teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons.

Each lesson is about 10-15 mins long. It's so good. Every one should have one.

MayIJustAsk · 03/10/2020 00:10

My son had tutoring for years as did loads of his friends, it definately helped him.

MayIJustAsk · 03/10/2020 00:14

My sons tutoring was twice a week for an hour each time and it was £32pw which I thought was a good price.

BlingLoving · 03/10/2020 00:28

A tutor for a 6 year old who is struggling with reading!? How much is she struggling really? I mean, if she cant even reads simple.words then she might need help, perhaps via a tutor who teaches reading differently. But in the absence of any signs of any special educational needs etc, it seems a bit excessive to be tutoring at this point.

CoRhona · 03/10/2020 00:45

English and Maths are core subjects they have to pass at GCSE level or retake.

But she is only 6...take her to the library, let her choose books she's interested in (they might be a world away from what you have) and read to her, read with her and listen to her reading.

If she is still weak by senior school then yes, get a tutor. But I would be doing the above first. A lot.

AlwaysLatte · 03/10/2020 01:23

We've always read to our two from birth at least half an hour at night and still do at 12 and 10 and it seems like just a nice cosy thing to do but it's also really educational as they can follow the text during the story (and we tested them occasionally when they were younger by changing the words if we thought they weren't following it). It's fantastic for teaching them spelling and pronunciation and you can ask questions about what they think is happening/how the person in the story feels, etc. I would do more of that and buy some age appropriate Bond books but 6 is probably not an age I'd be thinking of a tutor.

Original poster

Suziee37 · 03/10/2020 08:18

Thank you everyone for your replies. Yes I agree she doesn’t need tutor at the moment. I’m not trying to make excuses or justify but I’ve been really depressed since I had youngest so I haven’t had any energy to read to her. I’m getting better now and am going to make more effort but some days it’s a struggle even brushing my hair! I obviously look after her and any my youngest to the nest of my ability but reading was not prioritised. That’s why I thought a tutor might be useful

OP posts:

Original poster

Suziee37 · 03/10/2020 08:21

Can I have some help cancelling a tutor please. As I said I’ve been feeling depressed so I’m overanalysing it! I booked her in 2.5 weeks time. What shall I say? I feel really guilty and worried what to say to her. She spent a lot of time emailing me a plan of what she’s going to do and introducing herself. I feel so bad! But I don’t want to waste my money

OP posts:

chomalungma · 03/10/2020 08:35

A tutor can't make a plan without seeing your daughter and spending time with her.

Good tutors are busy at the moment. So she will find someone else.
Maybe pay for an hour - but don't have her over. Just apologise and say you may contact her in a while

randomer · 03/10/2020 08:46

Aw Suzie, just email, say you have not been feeling well and you have made a bad decision. You apologise for any inconvenience caused and wish to cancel any contract?

Take a deep breath, your daughter is young, reading is a life skill, not barking at print. Take it easy.

randomer · 03/10/2020 08:56

if its any consolation, I thought I'd like a cleaner for a one off session. The woman was full on , wanting me to film the house, discuss the detail blah blah. Going on about risks and insurance . I just wanted a nice person to help me for a couple of hours. I just canceled the whole thing.

Confusing times.

Who has told you you daughter has " a problem" with reading. She is very young, she will change and develop.

tenlittlecygnets · 03/10/2020 10:07

Haven't you been reading with her? This will help massively. Start doing that. She doesn't need a tutor at 6. One of the best predictors of a child's success at reading is whether parents read to them.

Mumisnotmyonlyname · 03/10/2020 10:08

Not at this age. I'd read with her after school-getting her to do her reading. Plus, you read a bedtime story to her every every night.

Newkitchen123 · 03/10/2020 10:26

I'm a teacher and I left the system to do tutoring. I really don't think you need a tutor. Like others said just a few minutes a day with her will make a difference. I'm middle aged now but I still look back fondly on the times I went to the library with my dad as a child. I'd only get a tutor if it didn't.
If you do get a tutor please make sure they're qualified. Literally anyone can set themselves up as a tutor. Ask around other parents for recommendations

randomer · 03/10/2020 10:55

Think outside the box! look at print, make books, pretend books, get letters and make words. I kno wthis flurry of activity sounds horrible when you are depressed but 10 minutes a day is more than enough.

changerr · 03/10/2020 11:35

A tutor for a six year old is just throwing money down the drain.

Iamnotthe1 · 03/10/2020 12:24

Tutoring generally has one of two outcomes and it really is rolling the dice as to which one it'll actually be.

Outcome 1: the child grows in confidence as a result of having more face time with an adult. It's not about the knowledge taught but it is absolutely about the boost to confidence that the time may create.

Outcome 2: getting a tutor sends a clear message to the child that they aren't good at "x". That gets stuck in their head and they end up stuck having a tutor for years without it ever really helping.

As a teacher, I've seen both and I'd say that, in my experience, it's about 50/50.

CloudyGladys · 03/10/2020 12:26

Please stop, you are putting the cart before the horse... She really doesn’t need a tutor at this age.

Get her eyesight and hearing checked (Always do this first. Problems don't have to be severe enough to cause a problem at home to affect how she learns in the classroom).

Talk to her class teacher. Is she actually behind for her age considering the disruption last year? What do they recommend? Are there specific things to work on?
(If the teacher does think there could be a problem, then arrange meet with the school Senco as well, as they are the person who can set the wheels in motion regarding any interventions or referrals necessary.)

Take time - a few minutes every day - to read together. Read to her as well as hearing her read. Give her 100% of your attention and take time to talk, including, but not limited to, talking about what you are reading. Make this a special time just for her, and set up the same separately for her sibling(s).

Whatafustercluck · 03/10/2020 12:36

If it's just for reading at 6yo then I think just read with her more, even if it's you reading her favourite books to her and her following your finger. Absolutely gutted my 9yo ds doesn't like reading for pleasure. We always read to him at bedtime from when he was a baby. It is the foundation of helping them build an understanding of written English and ds now struggles with structured English because he hasn't mastered fluency in reading. We are now paying a private tutor for an hour a week to help him catch up and she does reading, grammar and structured writing with him. He'll also be joining an after school reading club from Monday (Government post-Covid intervention programme) and I've asked for him to be put into an 8 week writing group at school.

So you're right to worry about her reading. But at that age I don't think she needs a tutor.

mbosnz · 03/10/2020 12:45

Just a thought Suzie, but an alternative might be to hire a 'cool' teenager, who could be a companion to your daughter for an hour or so a week, with a focus on that companion taking your daughter to the library, the bookstore, reading with her?

Just thinking about what you're saying about how you've been struggling mentally, and don't really have the mental and physical resources - this could provide a bit of respite for you, and also address the fostering a love of reading, doing a bit of reading, with your daughter.

(And don't beat yourself up, you're going through a difficult time, in a ridiculously difficult time, and you've only got so much to give, and to go round!_

WildWaterSwimmer · 03/10/2020 12:51

A reading tutor for a 6 year old is definitely NOT worth it. Just spend 15 mins a day reading with her, make it a cozy exciting experience, choose wonderful books you'll enjoy sharing. It will do wonders.

PartTimeTeacherOfEnglish · 03/10/2020 12:59

I'm a private English tutor, but usually only for GCSE or at the most Key Stage 3 students. I have been asked to tutor younger children, as young as 6, but I really don't agree with it. It would really have to very exceptional circumstances.

And, as for worrying about paying this tutor because you've already booked her, how has she even managed to plan anything without meeting you and your daughter?

I always offer my parents and students (together) a free of charge 'meet and greet' so we can have a chat about what is expected of me, and what I expect of them. Only if that goes well do we move into paid tuition. Every other tutor I know also does this locally. While it means we're giving up an hour or so of our time 'for free' at the start, it's better than plunging straight in, only to find an awkward situation arising after week 1 because we didn't talk about things right at the start. (Which is now the situation the OP is in).

OP, you probably don't need to worry about anything right now, but please do read with your daughter from now on. If you're still worried in a few years/secondary stage, then may tuition might be something to consider.

If it is, though, please don't commit to anything before you've met up with the tutor and discussed what you're all expecting from it!

ShastaBeast · 03/10/2020 13:07

We did it for DD but she didn’t make a lot of progress because the tutors were teachers and doing more of the same, which wasn’t working. Recently discovered it was dyslexia and she needs to be taught in a different way.

We used Reading Eggs over lockdown and she has made a huge leap. She’s reading things on TV and her confidence has been boosted loads so she at least tries. School totally let her down and wouldn’t allow her to access dyslexia support.

nosswith · 03/10/2020 13:30

This may depend partly on current Covid 19 restrictions in your area, but do family members visit such as grandparents whom your DD could read to, so it's not just you who helps?

randomer · 03/10/2020 13:47

Can I just say there is a world of difference between " slightly struggling with reading at age 6" and dyslexia.

Children change.

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