To think people take pregnancy tests much too early these days?

[CounsellorTroi]

What is the point of doing it before you know you’re even late? Why not wait until you are late and getting a result that is at least conclusive even if not the one you want? Isn’t there something just a wee bit exploitative about these very early tests?

Fertility clinics really aren't selling false hope
They surely are. Their reported success rate is often misleading as rarely state the number of birth rate but the number of positive tests (so exclude all the early miscarriages, which is sadly a significant ratio after 40yo). Sometimes they only report the number of successful transfer but word it so that customers think it's accounts for successful births.

Many very early pregnancies are non viable and don't make it past a day or so of implementation but some test are so sensitive, they will pick very low levels of hcg and the woman will count it as a miscarriage when in normal.circumstsnces, it would ever have counted as a pregnancy in the first place.

I think when people say about the 'olden days' how people wouldn't have known until they missed their second period, an early miscarriage was just a late, heavy period and so on, well I miscarried at eight weeks and then was no way I could have mistaken it for a period.

When I had my first miscarriage my Nana told me about hers and those of women she knew back then (1960s). She said most of them knew they were pregnant because women generally aren't stupid and can work out that a missed period plus various symptoms would indicate pregnancy, they just weren't officially pregnant as testing back then wasn't what it is now. My miscarriages, from 6wks for the earliest and 17wks for the latest, looked nothing like a heavy period. Even the 6wk one looked nothing like a heavy period.

4 weeks today.
I found out yesterday. So very early.
Took a test as I had some left over ( cheap amazon ones ) out of curiosity. Faint line. Purchased a digital. Pregnant.
Very early days and I kind off wish I didn't know as it's a long time until the dating scan but I do

The thing that I find a shame about them, is that chemical pregnancies are so very very common. So a woman may be ecstatic to get a positive result a few days before her period is due, only to find that her period arrives anyway. If she'd waited until a proper missed period, she wouldn't have had to cope with the added disappointment.

If people only posted here on things that harm them directly AIBU would be much quieter.

@perfumeistooexpensive

They are exploiting women and adding a whole new layer of anxiety. When I was pregnant with DD1 the doctor didn't offer pregnancy testing and you certainly couldn't buy one. I had to wait for two missed periods until I could see the doctor and be booked for the midwife. Any bleeding following a missed period in that time was completely dismissed by the GP. I was bleeding seven weeks after my last period and when I phoned to say I thought I was having a miscarriage I was told that it was just a late period. It did cut out the anxiety that women present today. No worrying about how dark or light a line is, no chemical pregnancies, no constant testing. You were either pregnant or not. The chance of miscarriage was exactly the same. No early scans or tests make any difference.

And you don't see the issue with the GP being 'dismissive' of a woman bleeding when she thought she might be pregnant? The fact that knowing you've had a positive but later bled could have greater meaning for female health, anything from a one off chemical, to recurrent pre-12 miscarriage. Yes, the squinted threads here are both a bit of a pain for false hope, and a bit sad for women who are obviously desperate for the line, but we have to consider other aspects of female health as well. Without early pregnancy tests, many women may not know they're prone to miscarriage and just think they have irregular periods for longer than is acceptable.

Women's health is dismissed enough, without looking at reasons why having a tool that allows us to see if we're pregnant or not is 'exploitation' or seen as a con.

Fwiw my period was due yesterday but they can be a bit whacky.
They have become more predictable since loosing almost 3 stone though

The thing that I find a shame about them, is that chemical pregnancies are so very very common. So a woman may be ecstatic to get a positive result a few days before her period is due, only to find that her period arrives anyway. If she'd waited until a proper missed period, she wouldn't have had to cope with the added disappointment

As someone who spent three years TTC, its the difference between knowing you can get pregnant but cannot stay pregnant vs not being able to get pregnant in the first place. Even a chemical pregnancy is proof that you are able to conceive and then that helps direct any investigations and treatment needed.

I'd rather know early to ensure I don't have a glass of wine!

I have never heard of a chemical pregnancy.

I am 50 and had my children young, a long time ago. The first time I was pregnant, I didnt know and had some odd bleeding and went off chocolate. Turned out I was 11 weeks pregnant but I lost it and had to have a D&C

When pregnant with my 3 children, testing was not normally done until at least 2 weeks late. Pregnancy tests were very expensive at Boots.

Once I missed a month completely which was very unlike me and when I came on the next month, it was really heavy and painful. I do wonder if that was a miscarriage. I probably should have tested but at that time it involved a long trip to drop some urine off at the docs and it was too much hassle.

@Somethingsnappy

The thing that I find a shame about them, is that chemical pregnancies are so very very common. So a woman may be ecstatic to get a positive result a few days before her period is due, only to find that her period arrives anyway. If she'd waited until a proper missed period, she wouldn't have had to cope with the added disappointment.

I also find this attitude strange as well. It's bad enough women feel they can't talk about miscarriage in general, but chemicals are treated like they're nothing. It's apparently a woman's fault for upsetting herself for testing early, rather than allowing them to realise and accept their body for a moment had, and lost pregnancy hormones.

Mumsnet in particular seems to believe that no woman should acknowledge she may be pregnant until at least after the 20 week scan, not make any comment about it ever (you're only pregnant after all), and finding out anything other than if the foetus is health is completely chavvy. When it comes to the natal experience, many seem to sill be Victorian in their attitude about the whole thing.

@Gancanny

The thing that I find a shame about them, is that chemical pregnancies are so very very common. So a woman may be ecstatic to get a positive result a few days before her period is due, only to find that her period arrives anyway. If she'd waited until a proper missed period, she wouldn't have had to cope with the added disappointment

As someone who spent three years TTC, its the difference between knowing you can get pregnant but cannot stay pregnant vs not being able to get pregnant in the first place. Even a chemical pregnancy is proof that you are able to conceive and then that helps direct any investigations and treatment needed.

This. I had recurrent miscarriage before I had my first child. I had 4 in the end, 2 were “chemical” and 2 were at 6 weeks. The NHS makes you wait until you’ve had 3 mcs before you can access treatment. If I’d waited to test it would have delayed the treatment that I needed in order to have my son, or maybe I would never have had the right treatment and been considered infertile/gone down the IVF route unnecessarily. If a woman wants to spend her money pissing on sticks it’s really only her own business.

@CounsellorTroi

If people only posted here on things that harm them directly AIBU would be much quieter.

So, in other words you've no particular reason for caring when women choose to POAS? Good to know. FWIW I think you're being unreasonable. It's rather patronising to say that women shouldn't get to know what's going on with their own bodies in case they worry their pretty little heads about it. And for those longing for the days where you weren't pregnant until two missed periods- what about women who bleed throughout their pregnancies? Do they not get antenatal care? What about women with an ectopic? What about people who mistake implantation bleeding for a period?

Agree with @Brumboo

Women's reproductive healthcare is treated in a mostly dismissive way as it is. Why shouldn't we find out if we're pregnant or not? Why should an early miscarriage be seen as no big deal? Who's to say that?

There is a report in the guardian today that women who have irregular periods are much more likely to die younger than other women, even allowing for lifestyle factors etc. Is that because what are classed as late/irregular periods are actually miscarriages? What are the implications of that?

We have a lot of delicate equipment packed into a small space and we are only just starting to realise what the implications are on our other major organs in terms of how it performs. We need to be doing more looking into this, not less, and failing to monitor pregnancy and outcomes of conception, or telling women that it's not a big deal, is not the direction we should be pointing in.

but chemicals are treated like they're nothing
But they are only something once we know about them. They are very common, part of nature, no different to the fact that nature doesn't intend on every woman falling pregnant systematically if they TTC around ovulation time.

Totally agree- with both my pregnancies, just waited until I was definitely late. It’s an obsession.

There's nothing wrong with accurately informing yourself, and if you are struggling with infertility, knowing whether you're getting pregnant but losing very early can lead to much different treatments than not getting pregnant at all. In terms of cost, you can get a handful of test strips on ebay for less than a 'clearblue' test etc, so not necessarily expensive or exploitation.

Fertility, pregnancy and childbirth education is already shockingly bad in this country, why encourage making it even worse?

As someone who took 4 years and two full fresh gruelling rounds of IVF to have DD, too damn right I was going to take a test a few days before my period was due when I had symptoms to see if I had conceived naturally, even if it ended in a chemical. Having that information was empowering and meant I could have made an informed choice about whether to pursue expensive, physically and emotionally draining fertility treatment, or to spend more time trying naturally.

That said, I’ve seen some forums where there is an obsession with “chasing” up the weeks on a Clearblue, and ladies getting anxious if they don’t get a 3+.

To be clear: a woman's lifetime experience of conception and outcomes has larger ramifications than 'am I having a baby at this particular point in time' for her. So yes we absolutely do need to be looking at it far more carefully, rather than just saying 'what you don't know won't hurt you' because it might.

Yep. But have you been so upset at not getting pregnant for months/years or had miscarriages?? If not you won't ever understand the obsession

@dontdisturbmenow

but chemicals are treated like they're nothing But they are only something once we know about them. They are very common, part of nature, no different to the fact that nature doesn't intend on every woman falling pregnant systematically if they TTC around ovulation time.

Again, the dismissive attitude towards women's health. They may be common, they may be part of a wider issue. More to the point, why should we have the attitude of 'shit happens' with early mc or chemicals? Why do we deny women the right to be sad, whether the loss comes after days or weeks?

If you are having repeated very early miscarriages there are medical treatments and interventions (often as simple as progesterone supplements) that can help.

It's true women often don't get this treatment (at least not without paying privately) but that's a scandal in itself.

Early tests cost pennies for multipacks online. It's not like people are being fleeced.

Points taken and acknowledged. I guess the information they provide can be very valuable. I've just seem so many women be so upset over a chemical pregnancy, it's heartbreaking and I just want to protect them, but this is our lot as women I suppose. If they help people who are TTC, it's all good.

More to the point, why should we have the attitude of 'shit happens' with early mc or chemicals?

Exactly. What does 'part of nature' even mean ffs?

Kidney stones are 'part of nature', as is appendicitis, Jesus, even fucking cancer is really if you want to be reductive. Just because something happens a lot doesn't mean you leave it the fuck alone or ignore it. Unless it's to do with women's reproductive health.

I was prescribed a certain type of medication and took a test 4 days before I was due on, not thinking I would be pregnant but just to make sure as this medication could not be used if pregnant and it was positive. So I found it very helpful.