Please can you help me write a message to my friend? It’s her dads funeral today xx

[BabyCJuly]

Hello there

I’d like to send a message to my friend today it’s her dads funeral. He suddenly passed away age 58.
What kind of thing could I write please?
Thank you!

Keep it simple "thinking of you all today" It will all be a blur for them your support will be appreciated try not to over think it.
I was shocked at the amount of people who texted to simply say "I'm sorry" it was lovely
But don't get into a text exchange I found it irritating when I replied to thank them and they replied again I replied they replied eventually I had to say thank you I'll talk to you when I see you ignore their 4th reply.

If you message - just say "thinking of you today" or "sending thoughts/ love/ hugs/ best wishes" - depending on your relationship with friend. Anything more is too much to cope with especially as she'll need her phone clear for people who can't find the place or last minute instructions.

You could send a card. When Dad died people sent cards. I read them later, when I had time and was able to to. I kept some of them as they were so lovely.

I don't think it matters how much or little you write in the card. Just say something heartfelt - like I'm so very sorry to hear this very sad news and I'm thinking of you and your family.

In reality they are going to be in a deep blur and haze of emotion and not analysing what people said in their cards. It's the thought that counts.

Thank you all for your help xxxx

If you knew her dad you could mention a memory you have of him. Also, you could mention getting together in a couple of weeks time, if that is still allowed

Thinking of you and sending our love and thoughts etc. Keep it simple, if you know her well add the - please let me know if you need anything or need to chat etc.
Just make sure you send something. I was touched by the number of people who sent wishes and thoughts for my DM, many of whom I;d lost regular touch with but also hurt by the handful of closer friends who said nothing although I know now that it was because they felt awkward and didn't know what to say rather than they didn't care.
I would message AND send a card...

When my dad died suddenly aged 63 I got various lovely messages from friends however whenever I got a message I always felt obliged to acknowledge it and reply and at times this was inconvenient or stressful. I know they wouldn't have minded no reply but manners and obligation are hard feelings to overcome. So now if I ever message a grieving person I always message "please don't reply as I know you'll have a lot going on but I just wanted to say ........."
The messages that were my favourites where the ones that included a nice memory or story about my dad.

I’m another who would say send a card so she can read it when she feels able. If you can share a kind/funny memory about her dad.

My friends and I tend to say to each other 'just hold on' on days like this. I like it because it feels like we all get how it feels to just cling on and get through horrible days.

A nice card would be lovely, unfortunately there isn’t any words that will make her feel any better (i know from experience!) but just knowing people are thinking of you is sometimes enough. My friend lit a candle at home at the time of the funeral (she couldn’t come due to covid) and looking back in was a nice thought that people where thinking of us and my mum.