Hello
New poster here. I would love some advice on this...I've been with my partner for seven years and we don't have sex anymore. If it happens it's usually because I've mentioned it a few times. We've had sex maybe four or five times in the past year, even though we do live together. We're both 41, no kids, no plans to have kids. We're both in creative fields and our work takes up a lot of headspace (even before this impasse we both used to have to lock ourselves away in separate rooms for much of the week to get our work done).
He denies that he's not attracted to me anymore but basically unless I mention sex it doesn't happen. Even more ridiculously, he is a deeply unspontaneous person because of his creative routine and there's hardly ever a uh, window for sex. He thinks it's boring having sex as we're going to bed, but basically I think he just wants to read. So do I, but I find it hard to get enthused about having sex in the only time he seems to be willing to do it (this is currently only a Saturday afternoon - I know, I can't believe I'm even writing this).
He says he understands why I'm worried or upset about this, but he doesn't change his behaviour or go into it any further. Is there a point at which you just have to give up and realise that you're being fobbed off?
My self-esteem is basically in the gutter - I can't really imagine having sex with anyone else again in real life either. I think it's just going to get worse as well.
What would you do in this situation?