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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that this is a lot to drink?

17 replies

Sunflowertall · 30/09/2020 20:49

DH drank 3 glasses of red wine before 5:30pm today. I don't drink but that seems a lot to me. For context, he works full time (so he was working today and back in work tomorrow) as we have 2 very young children.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 30/09/2020 20:52

3 small or 3 large glasses? 3 large ones would be a full bottle. Does he do it often?

ShellsAndSunrises · 30/09/2020 20:53

How often does he do it? That’d be nearly a bottle. Occasionally that’s fine. Every night it’s a problem.

Smellbellina · 30/09/2020 20:54

Did he stop at 5.30?
Also, just... why?!

Original poster
Sunflowertall · 30/09/2020 21:03

Not every night but he has started drinking more as the weekend gets closer. He was definitely drunk when he put our daughter to bed a few nights ago.

About 8 years ago his drinking went completely out of control and as a result he decided to stop so hadn't drank for all these years. A couple of months ago he started again and here we are, he's drinking nearly a whole bottle of wine in the afternoon in the middle of the working week.

Raised it with him earlier and he's slunk off to bed. He was about to go to the shop to get ingredients for supper tomorrow night but went to bed instead as I suspect he was actually about to go get another bottle of red.

OP posts:
DramaLlama12 · 30/09/2020 21:03

I've done it
Not every night but quite partial to an afternoon drink sometimes .
I wouldn't get worked up about it
Sometimes I feel I've had a shit day at work so why not .
Does he do it very regularly?

userxx · 30/09/2020 21:07

So 8 years of being sober and he's now drinking a bottle of red by 5-30pm, not good at all and that's coming from someone who likes a drink!

impossible · 30/09/2020 21:10

Sounds like he did well to stop drinking before and this awful anxiety-producing year has made him start again. He's obviously self aware but I think he needs to seize the moment now before things slide further. Can you find whatever it was that prompted him to stop drinking last time, and repeat.

Mcchips2020 · 30/09/2020 21:16

Yeah it sounds like he’s got a drink problem if he’s drinking during the day while working and also not great if he’s drunk when putting your daughter to bed.

Can’t blame him after this shitty year though it must be hard enough at the best of times let alone now :(

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 30/09/2020 21:19

Drinking a bottle of wine in work time is the sort of thing that can get you sacked.

Original poster
Sunflowertall · 30/09/2020 21:26

Sorry for typos - been doing work emails on my phone and fed up of the tiny keyboard! Thanks for replies. Helpful. Need to talk to him asap and squash it before or gets out of hand

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 30/09/2020 21:42

Now I love a drink and can have three glasses in the evening occasionally. But ill usually have one whilst cooking tea, and then the other couple once kids are in bed. If I'd drank a whole bottle by teatime I'd be drunk getting the kids sorted and it wouldn't feel right.

HerNameWasEliza · 30/09/2020 21:42

Does he keep normal hours? It's a lot to drink any day but not beyond the realms of normal. If he got up at 4 and goes to bed at 7, seems like a heavy evening. If he's going to drink more, more of an issue.

Notashandyta · 30/09/2020 21:44

It's a fair bit. But then you knew that already.

Not the end of the world tho

Suzi888 · 30/09/2020 21:45

Before 5.30 is very early. I’d be asleep by 7!
Ok now and then I guess, but not regularly.

ThirstyGhost · 30/09/2020 22:21

As a recovering alcoholic, my advice would be that if he's given up for a long period of time and then started drinking again and the amount starts to quickly creep up like this, it's a sign of a deep-rooted problem. He probably needs to abstain completely.

My drinking was completely out of control and I can't moderate. It would always spiral. Might take days, weeks, months, but always. Some of us are just like that. I don't know obviously if your husband is like me, but the signs are there (just going on what you've said here). I would encourage him to talk about it when he's sober. Ask him how he thinks moderating is going. I wouldn't anticipate that conversation going well to be honest, and he'll likely be defensive, but hopefully something you say will stick. He obviously has self-awareness about his drinking from before, which is good. Huge respect for him for having given up for such a long time. This year has been an absolute f*er as well.

DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon · 30/09/2020 22:33

I suppose it depends on the size of the glass. For someone with no history of alcoholism as an occasional occurance I wouldnt be worried

However irrespective of the amount he has an alcohol problen, he has been sober for 8 years and is now drinking again, in working hours. I would say he sounds like an alcoholic

MayIJustAsk · 30/09/2020 23:44

I am tipsy after 1 glass so that would be a lot to me

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