DH and I have been together for eight years, married for four, with one DS. He's smart, funny, interesting, handsome, successful etc. However, he completely ignores me and I feel like it's ruining my life.
He's on his phone a lot when I'm speaking to him and doesn't listen to me. If I ask him something he'll respond even though he's not listening, like "please could you pass the salt?" he'll say "sure" and not move to pass the salt. I'll ask again and he'll say "sure" and not move. Then I'll raise my voice and he'll look all surprised at why I'm exasperated and he'll pass the salt and sometimes say "you don't need to raise your voice" or "you could just ask nicely". Or, he'll be going to the kitchen and I'll ask him to bring something back. He'll say he will and then never, ever return with the thing I asked for - ever.
Our son doesn't like being put in his highchair and left - I guess he gets bored. Then he gets fussy and when we try to feed him when he's already fussy then he's more difficult to feed and the whole thing escalates. So, I've said to my husband dozens of times that if he's feeding DS, not to put DS into the highchair until the food is ready. Despite this, he puts DS into the highchair before starting to make food every single time. Then I have to take over feeding when DS is fussy and difficult and won't eat properly. When I challenge him on this, he just says he "forgot" AGAIN.
Our dog has a bit of a stealing problem, she's a puppy so it's not unusual. She often gets a bit anxious with the things she's stolen and isn't very easy to get things back from when she thinks she's in trouble. I've asked DH hundreds of times not to leave things in her reach. And yet, he ALWAYS does. This morning I've had to recover a t-shirt left on the bottom step of our staircase, the selotape that was left on the desk, a packet left on the edge of the kitchen sides and a pen left on a side table. Because our dog is more intimidated by my husband (I think purely because he's male and larger than me rather than anything he's done), I have to get things off her to stop her getting distressed. (We're seeing a behaviourist for this problem and she's not aggressive or anything so not looking for dog advice here).
These are just some examples but I feel like DH ignores everything that I have to say. If it's just a conversation then he'll bury himself in his phone, if it's a request then he'll "forget". I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sick of raising my voice but he doesn't even look up otherwise, and my life is being made so difficult by him not following basic instructions. I can't just let him deal with the consequences of not listening but it will be detrimental to DS/the dog and it's not fair on them.
I've brought it up multiple times, calmly and afterwards and tried to get to the bottom of it. He always apologises and says he'll try to change etc but nothing happens.
AIBU to LTB? What are my other options?