How to ‘act’ age when I look much younger

[Helpmyhair2019]

Hello
First of all this is not a stealth post! I am overweight and get anxious so have many faults!

I am 43 but most people say I look early 30’s at the most. Whilst I know this is good long term it’s actually a real disadvantage in my current job.

I have recently started a new job which means I have to manage a group of adults as well as teenagers. I can work with the teenagers and have no problem with assertiveness there. However, I have always preferred to be a supportive and kind manager of adults rather than be there ‘boss’. This has tended in the past to make people take advantage of me even though I am not a pushover generally.

The problem is that until i tell people my age they think I am much younger and therefore much less experienced than I am. They think I am too nice when in actual fact I’m not and have dealt with many many serious and stressful situations in my line of work and in my personal life. I am spoken to/about by the people I manage as if I am someone newly qualified in the job with little experience. It therefore means the adults try and manipulate things to their advantage and impose their ‘older and wiser’ views.

I am working on being more assertive with adults. It’s not my strength and isn’t the main part of my job but is an important part.

Does anyone have any advice? I try and drop in my age as much as possible and I do notice people’s attitudes change when they realised age but it seems ridiculous to have to keep doing this!

Doubt this is about your looks: far more likely its the way you behave!

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@Dozer not necessary, a friend of my mum's was ID'd in pubs well into her 40s. Some people look young

Thanks all for all the feedback :-) I was employed to work with young teenagers. This is my skill. Not adults. However I have to manage the adult support staff as part of my job and it’s this smaller part of the job I struggle with. I certainly don’t act young but I do not act with confidence with adults yet with the young teenagers I’m confident and have successful with 20 years positive feedback and evaluations. I actually got promoted to just management with no teaching but took a lesser paid job to get back to being in the classroom as management is not my forte (no shit 😂!). But there’s still some element of it and that’s what I needed help with.

There’s lots to think about her but I think the main thing is to believe in myself and not care quite so much about what adults may (or my not!!) think of me :-)

Can we have a picture op 😂

I'm a (still fairly youngish) woman working in a high pressure high stakes male world. We've had coaches in who have told us women that unfortunately we need to 'give our credentials' first. So in a powerpoint presentation, or a round table when you meet people, you really need to blow your own trumpet. Only then, unfortunately, will people (men) listen to what you have to say.

Don't focus on age though, focus on expertise and experience.

So when introducing yourself - I'm xxx, I've been running the y programme here for the las z years. Before that I was leading the abc... You can make it friendly, throw in a joke, but let them know straight off that you know what you're doing.

Also confidence, body language (you can get coaching with that), don't do feminine apologies when you don't need to apologise because you've done nothing wrong. Clothing and posture can help too. Also protect your time and say no to stuff.

@MayIJustAsk

Can we have a picture op 😂

Nooooo 😂😂😂😅

Feminine apologies - YES! That’s it!!!! Along with a very strict catholic upbringing where you apologised for everything you did even if you’d done nothing wrong just to keep the peace!