I am scared I’m really sick but I don’t know who to tell

[bluedonuts]

I’ve posted a couple of times about being in a flare up with my ulcerative colitis but asides from that I am scared I’m really sick but I am scared to go to the doctor.

I’ve always been slightly overweight on the BMI scale, around a size 12 to 14, but without having an ego, I’ve always looked good. I’m very curvy, small waist and big bum. Before my baby I was always able to wake early and felt okay in myself. But ever since I had him I feel awful.

After having DS I developed postnatal depression & my OCD worsened really badly. I have gained so much weight, like a ridiculous amount, probably around 5 stone. I feel absolutely awful in myself. I have no energy and I’m tired all of the time.

For the past few months I have struggled to wake up. I don’t know why. My partner was doing the night feeds. I’m on sedating medication but this is excessive.

I am sleeping until like 3/5pm lately with some nights staying up 24 hours to try and reset my sleeping routine but it just doesn’t happen. And I cannot wake up. My partner will try to wake me and I just can’t. I will fall asleep sitting up or eating or doing anything to try to wake myself up. When I do wake up I’m still tired and dizzy and get headaches.

I feel like a fucking awful parent. I’m still working and tonight I’m working through the night because I slept all day. I want to spend time with DS. It’s getting to the point where I’m scared to go to bed in case I oversleep.

I’m failing so badly. My flare up is making me feel awful, I’m stressed and depressed, I’m fat, I have no energy, I can’t stop sleeping. I have lost myself.

I’m scared there’s a worrying problem and I’m going to die. I am so so scared. But I am also scared to talk to a doctor about it because I don’t want them to think I’m an incapable mother and take my son away from me. I don’t know what to do.

They are not going to take your child away.

Please go to your gp. It is very unlikely to be as serious as you are imagining.

PND, OCD, having a baby and weight gain can all cause fatigue.
The OCD could most likely be why you think you’re seriously ill but too scared to go to the GP.

Sounds like you need to take a deep breath and go to the GP. Not because you’re seriously ill or dying, but because you need help managing your anxiety.

Please see your GP who will probably run some blood tests. You might be anaemic or have some hormone imbalance and these things can be easily treated with medication. They are sometimes triggered by pregnancy.

What treatment have you had for the PND?

It’s very very unlikely to be anything serious. And they won’t take your baby away unless you have harmed him.

Social workers don’t take away babies because their mum is fat and tired. Otherwise half the babies in the country would be in care.

I had blood tests at the hospital the other day and they all came back fine (I was in for rectal bleeding and chronic diarrhoea). I had gestational diabetes and because I’ve gained even more weight I’m worried I’ve got type 2. I used to be a size 6, now I’m scared to even buy clothes because nothing fits :(

Well if you do have type 2 diabetes then you need to get down to your GP tomorrow Because you need medication and advice in the short term. It’s very risky to leave it untreated.

The good news is that you can put diabetes into remission by weight loss, you don’t have to have it for life.

Re the blood tests - they don’t check for everything every time, just whatever the doctors writes on the request. So if they are checking for allergies or intolerance they won’t have checked your hormones.

Phone the GP please.

Is it helpful to look at the worst possibility?
For example, what’s the worst if you find out that you have T2 diabetes?
This is totally manageable with diet, lifestyle and medication.

Hi OP

I have joined up short term because I really feel bad for you and want to try to help.

I have Ulcerative Colitis too. I am fortunate to be in remission right now on Entyvio, but I well know what a flare up is like and how draining it can be. I can't imagine coping with a baby at the same time. Fatigue is a huge issue. To the point where moving at all can feel like too much.

You post suggested to me you are on prednisolone. I have been, many times. It ca really help but it has awful side effects, including my thoughts racing, shaking, no sleep, and worst of all weight gain, and lots of it. My weight has yo yo'd all over the place. Nothing like watching yourself get fat because you are taking a drug to make you feel well enough to function.

It may be an impossible task right now, but you really, really need to get the right support for your UC. It is a serious disease. You are trying to cope but honestly, you need some decent medical help. Don't be embarrassed. Don't for one second feel you are being too demanding or too much trouble.

Does your baby's Dad understand you disease? Can he fight for you in your corner?

It is hard for someone who does not have UC to really understand what you are going. Crohns and Colitis UK may help.

You need to INSIST that you get treatment to help get you in remission or at least calm it down a bit. There are options in addition to prednisolone that can help. Please try and get to see an IBD specialist on an urgent basis. Do not give up. I have seen very very dark days. It can and will get better. But not overnight.

You cannot fight this alone. I know you are feeling defeated and weak, not to mention a bit yucky because of your symptoms.

Do not blame yourself. But do assert yourself. This can be as simple as really explaining how awful you feel.

Please take care. My heart goes out to you.

Please tell your doctor how miserable you are right now. They won’t want to take your son, they will want to help you.

Same, call GP

Definitely not normal

It's tough, op, take care of yourself 💐

if i were your husband/partner/ i would have called the doctor by now.
you need to do so asap. being so drowsy could be hazardous.
good luck.

If you've been prescribed a sedating medication, it can play havoc with how you feel when you're awake and the amount to which you can stay awake. They can also cause you to out weight on quickly, leaving you feeling lower.

Op, having now read some of your other posts, I see you have had surgery, but it is not clear whether you have a J pouch or an external bag. Either way, losing blood as you are is serious. Please get help soon.

Surgery is supposed to help, not make you worse. Don't let the frustration and sense of hopelessness a chronic disease can cause you lead you to give up.

Fucking hell, you are hard on yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You are sick and you need some support. Please go back to the GP and explain how badly this is affecting you and that it needs to be investigated further. Even if it is just a side effect of your meds, that doesn't mean there is nothing you can do about it. They might be able to wait h your meds, or do something to help you stay awake.

I would also reach out to any kind of support network that you have and get some help. No one does this alone. Being a good mum doesn't mean running yourself into an early grave trying to do everything alone. You are a human being and you need to look after yourself.

Sense of impending doom can be a sign of dangerous changes to blood pressure and I am worried you could be losing more blood than you think. Do you have a blood pressure monitor?

I have UC (and arthritis ) & two kids. It's really hard. Go easy on yourself - get the help you need and rest up. Go to the GP and get checked out for what is worrying you. They're not going to take your kids away. I have those illnesses and severe mental health problems and I definitely still have mine.

Please call your GP. I know it's scary, but you really do need to tell them how you feel and how worried you are - hopefully they will be able to sort things out. They won't take your baby off you, all they will do is try to help, but you do need to be honest. It sounds as though you are having a terrible time and you need help and support - do you have any family who could step up?

Tell all of these symptoms to your GP. Don't miss any out. They won't take away your child. Can you take a week's holiday from work while you try to reset your sleep pattern?

You say you've had blood tests which came back fine, but which ones? Have you had your Thyroid tested? This wouldn't get picked up in a CBC, you'd need to have a specific test. I know people that have developed Thyroid issues after pregnancy and it was my first thought when you mentioned the weight gain.

Did they check your thyroid during your blood test? Go to your gp and tell them everything you have put here. Insist on more blood tests and a plan to help you feel better

Perhaps you should see an endocrinologist? Talk to your GP first to run a few simple blood tests. Your iron or thyroid might be out of range

@bluedonutsI was falling asleep everywhere... in the day.

It was a thyroid issue {under active} ..Much better with the right meds.

no one will take your child away..Please go to your GP 👍

Please go to your GP.
Tell them all the symptoms you have here.
Ask them to test for diabetes. Also ask whether it could be a thyroid problem.
You might have put weight on because of an underlying condition which can be treated with medication.

If you do have Type 2 diabetes and you catch it early enough you can get it into remission through an appropriate diet. They know a lot more about it these days and how to manage it. My dad had it and when he was actually doing what he was told he got his levels down to non-diabetes levels for a long time.

Just to add, I think it sounds more like an underactive thyroid than type 2 diabetes - I know someone who had this and she was asleep most of the time and put lots of weight on until she was eventually given a thyroid test and diagnosed. It was then treated by medication. She didn't lose all the weight she had gained but she did lose a lot of it and most importantly, her energy came back.

I had gestational diabetes and because I’ve gained even more weight I’m worried I’ve got type 2

I was just going to suggest diabetes, having only read your opening post. Putting on 5 stone and the excessive sleepiness strongly suggests that might be the issue, or at least a contributing factor.

A simple blood test will tell you so do speak to the GP or nurse. BTW, if you had Gestational Diabetes, did you have a blood glucose meter and if so, do you still have it? If so, you could do a few tests yourself before speaking to the GP.

Whatever it is, you’ll feel better once it’s sorted, so focus on that and don’t let your worries drown you. X