DH/DP work colleague/friend

[GoodMorningLondon]

Following on from a similar thread where many thought the OP was BU for not being happy about DP long conversations with female work colleague....

How bad would it need to get/how far would it need to be before you’d suspect? If what other OPs have said wouldn’t be worrying? At what point is it too much for even a cool wife?

My DP is one of those who always seems to have female friends at work (currently in office unlike me so sees colleagues every day) but tells me about them and knows I wouldn’t like any secrecy - I also have plenty of male colleagues/friends who I speak to and often text outside work.

There are times though when I get a bit when I keep hearing about x person a lot - your mind does go into over drive a bit thinking, are they being really open so I don’t suspect?? Am I being double bluffed?

I suppose my question is, at what point does it get worrying, in your view?

It depends on the partner I suppose.

I work in an office with a male colleague who I also message out of work for work related stuff.
Not sure what his wife thinks but I’d be absolutely horrified if she thought anything other than our communications were surrounding work. Mortified in fact.
I talk about him to my dh quite a bit...because this bloke irritates me and I tell dh how he irritates me.

He tells me that he talks about me to his therapist and I guess he talks about me to his wife because I have been a huge influence on his working life. The difference between him going off sick with MH issues or not. (I’m the reason he has NOT gone off just to add)

You’ve made me think now, and feel pretty horrible about my working relationship with this colleague & quite uncomfortable to be honest.

@Pickypolly

It depends on the partner I suppose.

I work in an office with a male colleague who I also message out of work for work related stuff.
Not sure what his wife thinks but I’d be absolutely horrified if she thought anything other than our communications were surrounding work. Mortified in fact.
I talk about him to my dh quite a bit...because this bloke irritates me and I tell dh how he irritates me.

He tells me that he talks about me to his therapist and I guess he talks about me to his wife because I have been a huge influence on his working life. The difference between him going off sick with MH issues or not. (I’m the reason he has NOT gone off just to add)

You’ve made me think now, and feel pretty horrible about my working relationship with this colleague & quite uncomfortable to be honest.

I don’t feel uncomfortable but I can see how some relationships I’ve had at work could have come across a certain way. I wouldn’t really worry about going for a quick after work drink with a male colleague, for example, if we’ve had a bad meeting or something although a coffee would probably feel more appropriate.

But equally I know how I feel and you can’t for certain know how someone else feels or how your partner feels!!