To ask what’s the best way of dealing with a workplace bitch?

[Rainbowb]

I’ve worked part time in a nursery for a couple of years, it’s a job that fits in with school hours so I do it a lot for the convenience of it but I do love being with the children and always try my best. However, there’s a senior full time member of staff who is best friends with the manager and she’s constantly on my back, picking me up about everything.

She is ultra efficient herself but not very personable and not always nice to the children. I feel like she’s watching everything I do, then lets everyone know when I make a mistake. I am a little forgetful sometimes and it’s a very full on environment with lots going on so I’m sure I deserve some of it but she doesn’t seem to be so vigilant with other people’s mistakes. It feels like others get away with more than I do sometimes.

I stay professional, I try to keep positive about myself but there are days like today where it just really shatters my confidence and I probably make more mistakes as a result. I feel like I hold back a lot at work, I’m quiet and feel like I can’t be myself and I worry they all think I’m useless.

Has anyone else dealt with this kind of thing and how did you manage to keep your self esteem and dignity every day?

I work with a total bitch; I’m just super friendly to her and let her bitchyness go right over my head and don’t give her comments a second thought.

I’m feeling your pain.
Is she your line manager? Are her criticisms valid?
If not, refer her to your line manager... or... take it on the chin, thank her for the advice and put her out of your mind.
Personally, I would ask her did she make that observation to your other colleague when they made that error? If not, why? Tell her you are becoming more than a little tired of her constant critique when it is solely directed at you.

I used to work in childcare and unfortunately I’ve found it can be quite a bitchy environment, compared to when I’ve worked in retail and other jobs. I don’t know if it’s because childcare is more ‘personal’ and you work with your colleagues a lot more whereas when I’ve worked in shops everyone if busy getting on with their own thing.

If you feel she’s really got it out for you and she’s properly in with management I would consider looking for something else. I couldn’t work under someone who was waiting to pick on my mistakes rather than help me improve. I’ve also found that it isn’t hard to find jobs in childcare, there always seems to be jobs going.

I hear you and my supervisor is a bit like this too.
No real advice, but I feel for you.
Does she have a manager you could talk to ? Sometimes people just have to lower some one else's self esteem and it does suck.
It's hard working with children without someone constantly picking on you.
I hope someone has some better advice soon , but I can sympathize.

Some of her criticisms are valid, other times she gets the wrong end of the stick. Sometimes she sees what happens in a dispute between two children but doesn’t tell me when I go to deal with it, just lets me try and work out myself who snatched the toy or whatever. Then let’s everyone know how if I didn’t manage to work it out.

No she’s not officially a line manager but does cover when the manager is off. Childcare is a hard job to get right all the time, you’re dealing with very small and demanding children and lots and lots of distractions. To her credit she is very on the ball but her bedside manner is definitely lacking.

I had a manager like this once. I lost a lot of confidence working for her, and was actually quite relieved when she terminated my contract, even though I loved the actual job.

After I left she was taken to a tribunal for bullying by the assistant manager. Turned out she had a long history of bullying people.

Try not to let it get to you (easier said than done, I know). Personally I’d keep my eyes out for another job, as it’s just not worth the hassle.

What a difficult situation. No advice but sympathy from someone who has been there. I was in a team of three, the other two were as thick as thieves. One was a nasty bully and would pull me up on stupid little things. The other one didn't do anything but didn't ever help me or back me up. The 'manager' worked off site and was also friends with her, nights out, kids played together etc. It was impossible to get any help so I ended up leaving and I'm much happier in a different role.
I hope you get some resolution as I know how horrible it is

I would keep an eye out for a different job. It’s not worth losing confidence, will take you ages to build yourself back up if you stay for a long time.

Alternative is to raise it with her superior if you think that person is honest and helpful. If not I wouldn’t bother as you’ll then struggle to get a reference if things go wrong.

Write a careful and factual email to your manager. Don't allow yourself to be bullied like this.

Kill her with kindness, it will completely confuse her.

Setting you up to fail by not giving you info is going to massively undermine your confidence. Which she probably enjoys. Every time she has a go just laugh & say "I know, you can't get the staff, can you". Then walk away . It worked for me. She wants a reaction, to see it hit home etc. And look for another job.