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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be so put off having my smear!

52 replies

ChocolateMonster5 · 28/09/2020 15:58

My first experience with a smear test was when I was 22. I was literally told they couldn’t do it because they couldn’t fit the speculum in. I was then afraid to go back and put it off until I was 28 and had 2 children. I thought it would be easier. It ended up being very painful but I was just pleased it was successful and thankfully, the results were all clear.

Today I went for my routine smear. I explained to the nurse about my past experiences and she was really lovely to me. She said we’ll just take our time with it and do some deep breathing etc.

So the first speculum, she couldn’t get in. It actually literally shot back out when it was partially in. She then said we could try a smaller speculum but there were no guarantees we’d be able to reach my cervix. We used the smaller one and she had to fiddle around with what she called ‘a brush’ to find my cervix. I had to place my hands under my bum and she asked me to bear down whilst she looked for my cervix. I started bleeding but luckily she managed to find my cervix and took a swab.

She then let me know that there is a chance the swab will be rejected due to there being too much blood. If that happens, I will need to return in 12 weeks and have another smear done.

I just don’t understand why I have so much trouble with this when 2 babies have clearly managed to fit through there. I tried to be as relaxed as I could today. I’m actually on antidepressants for anxiety and I thought they really helped me relax, along with some deep breaths but it still wasn’t enough.

I understand the importance of smears and I know how life saving they are but I just find the whole thing such a horrible experience 😢

I always read threads on here with everyone saying how painless they are and I don’t understand why my experiences are so different to everyone else’s 🥺 It really puts me off the whole thing.

OP posts:

rorosemary · 29/09/2020 00:02

Maybe it's your build. Mine isn't painful as such, more uncomfortable, but it is more difficult due to my cervix being high up and tilted a bit diagonally to the back. Or something like that if I understoid correctly. Well it's pretty hard to reach anyway and they can't reach it with the normal speculum. Just one of those things. We're all different.

Time2change2 · 29/09/2020 00:45

You have described me OP
I have had several over the years and I find them very very painful. They have been the cause of a lot of mental anguish over the years. I have cried during them and stifled screams. I should say though that I hate medical procedures in general and am needle phobic also.
I once had a nurse unhelpfully say to me ‘oh dear, how are you ever going to have children?’ Well I had a natural birth with no pain relief and to me that was in someways actually less painful than some smears I’ve had.
I now get diazepam (Valium) which helps relax the muscles a bit and I warn the nurse before hand what to expect as it will seem like I am being tortured but I just have to go through it and get it done.
I hope and pray that the urine test comes soon. For some of us this test is barbaric

Itsabeautifuldayheyhey · 29/09/2020 02:36

I find them extremely painful and, like others, I've been told I have a tilted cervix and that it is tucked away so I need a long thin speculum.
At one stage I had a cervical polyp and had it removed privately and I then continued to have private smears every 6 months for a few years. They were totally pain-free (I don't know whether it was because my legs were in stirrups so my cervix was at the correct angle).

The last one I had done by an NHS nurse at the GP surgery was excruciating. I'm very overdue for one but I'll wait for the urine test unless they want to do it under general anaesthetic.

Willowmartha1 · 29/09/2020 05:25

You are not alone, my first smear was incredibly traumatic as I was still a virgin and the doctor was very rude to me and basically implied I was being a baby !! This was years ago and looking back I should have reported her. She was trying to use a big speculum too, since then I have always asked for a smaller one and it's much more bearable.

HappenedForAReisling · 29/09/2020 05:35

@BusyBB

I think people talk about how its painless and not so bad because it's so important to get it done and we dont want to put other women off...... in my experience it's always painful.

That's not true. I find them mildly uncomfortable but definitely not painful.

That's not to say many women don't find them painful - I can understand how they do, but please don't make out that those of us who say we don't find them painful are lying.

DrDetriment · 29/09/2020 05:42

@Willowmartha1 that's a horrible experience but normally virgins don't need smears I thought? I have a retroverted womb and smears were very painful until a nurse said they should be done lying on my side. A game changer.

PopsicleHustler · 29/09/2020 05:47

Hello ,

I was so anxious about having a smear. Literally the days leading up to and the actual day of, I was a mess. My Dh said its nothing to worry about and to just relax and that he will be there. He then told me all they do is cut a bit of skin. I saw then freaking out like what, cut me where???!!! I was like surely not, I thought it is a small brush to sweep the cervix. He got it all wrong and actually mixed up with something completely different, and made me even more panicky.

Anyway we went together and it wasnt painful just uncomfortable and a bit intense as she could not find my cervix. I have a tilted cervix so it did take a
it longer . Which explains why my 4th DC got stuck in a awkward position just before delivery. Smear went fine and results came back fine too.

I think that perhaps you have a small vagina and you're also very anxious and nervous and that is why. I used to be very tense at any form of vaginal examination or internal that I seized up. Buy I just try to relax and focus on something else. Even blood tests, I hate them and just name countries in my head. I actually just sit naming countries a to z . By the time you know it, it's over with.

PurplePansy05 · 29/09/2020 05:51

Do you have tilted cervix?

Oysterbabe · 29/09/2020 05:51

Just to counter the many experiences of women who find it awful, I've never had an issue. I put it off for years because I was embarrassed and scared but it was absolutely fine. It didn't hurt and took about 30 seconds.

maddiemookins16mum · 29/09/2020 06:20

YANBU. You’ll get replies on here saying ‘I just whip my pants down and I’m back home in 5 mins’, but for me it’s like a torture, it’s agonising and leaves me tearful and shaking. We’ve tried fists under my bottom, pillows, everything, it’s horrendous.

LarkDescending · 29/09/2020 06:21

Mine was fine until menopause and is now agony.

Chocaholic9 · 29/09/2020 06:23

I took a valium before mine and it really helped.

Chocaholic9 · 29/09/2020 06:25

I'm not having another one in the future though .

Original poster

ChocolateMonster5 · 29/09/2020 06:31

Do you have tilted cervix?

No, I don’t think so. The main problem I’ve had is that the normal speculum just will not fit. Then it’s harder to find my cervix with the smaller speculum.

I just don’t understand how the normal speculum won’t fit when I’ve managed to give birth to two children, but it’s honestly agonising when they try to use it

OP posts:

PurplePansy05 · 29/09/2020 06:40

You may still have it, I had multiple pregnancy scans and were only told at one of the private scans recently, NHS for 2 years never mentioned this and it's not really something you feel on a daily basis. That would explain things, might be worth checking.

Jocasta2018 · 29/09/2020 06:45

I remember my first smear when I was 16 (32 years ago!) as I was going on Dianette for PCOS.
The nurse was lovely - sort of 'put your feet in the stirrups love and scoot down to the end of the table - we've warmed up the speculum for you'.
Honestly I think because my first experience of a smear test was so positive & tender, it has really helped.
I will say that once they stopped the stirrups & got you lying there with your legs making a triangle, etc, it was a lot less comfortable.
Perhaps the stirrups, undignified as they may be, get you automatically into the correct position, it's easier to do, both positioning & visually, so is over & done with quicker.
Bear in mind I was sexually assaulted when I was 13 & when I eventually became sexually actively I was unable to have penetrative sex for a very long time but because of those wonderful nurses when I was 16, internals have been uncomfortable but never as difficult as PIV.
It sounds like I've been fortunate with my nurses as well - even if they've had to rummage around a bit, they've been unfailingly soothing & encouraging, through 4 different GP practices.
As I'm menopausing, I'm on HRT but also use Vagifem pessaries for vaginal atrophy. You can use them even if you can't have HRT as the dose is very low but localised to the vaginal area. Get a box from your GP, use them every day for 12 days, every other day for about 10 days & the procedure will feel a lot easier as the vaginal tissues will be more comfortable.
Take some bloody strong painkillers between 45-60mins before the test.
Best of luck ladies, we deserve decent treatment!

LarkDescending · 29/09/2020 06:57

Thanks Jocasta I am going to ask for Vagifem and hope I can have it despite recent pulmonary embolism.

Oldraver · 29/09/2020 07:55

I'm due Mina again as they have ballsed up the last two so you have to wait several months

The last one she made me bleed and it did ruin the test

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 29/09/2020 08:17

I find it much less uncomfortable if I am in stirrups. And the dr has never had a problem when Im in stirrups either. I wonder if the positioning makes a difference?

cherrytree63 · 29/03/2021 09:30

I found them mildly painful until after my menopause when I developed vaginal atrophy.
I use vagifem but it's not made much difference.
Last smear I asked to be booked in with the most experienced nurse as I knew it would be difficult, but a different nurse tried unsuccessfully and then the nurse I'd booked with came in to do it.
It was more traumatic for me as it prolonged the procedure, but also that someone decided they knew better than me about my own body.
I think next time I'll book in with the sexual health clinic.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 29/03/2021 09:37

Mine were painless and easy until I had DC. Since then they have struggled to find my cervix. Takes ages and is uncomfortable. Don’t know what changed during childbirth.

FartnissEverbeans · 29/03/2021 09:45

It’s so interesting to hear so many women on here saying they have tilted cervixes. I’m the same - apparently mine is very tilted, so much so that my early pregnancy ultrasounds need to be internal, otherwise they can’t see anything - and I absolutely dread smear tests. I always bleed, it always hurts, and last time my lovely gynaecologist actually apologised to me! It’s an ordeal.

I’m so used to people saying ‘oh it’s no bother, just a bit uncomfortable’ and it really angers me because I think so many procedures women are subjected to are made out to be easy and we end up goin in completely unprepared and upset as a result.

LilMidge01 · 29/03/2021 09:55

@BusyBB

I think people talk about how its painless and not so bad because it's so important to get it done and we dont want to put other women off...... in my experience it's always painful.

Not true. it's a bit uncomfortable sure, but not painful for me, nor has it ever been (or any women I'm close enough to to have spoken to about it). I think it's important to discuss that it is painful for some women and we shouldn't assume that it is fine for all, and that it does not make you 'abnormal' as some women on this thread are worried about...but equally, believe that other women aren't lying to you

Hardchoices · 29/03/2021 10:10

My friend was petrified but knew she needed it done so was prescribed 2 diazepam. One for the night before and then one an hour before the appointment. She was fine, just in a “dorm give a shit” mood so was nice and relaxed. Worth asking?

eaglejulesk · 29/03/2021 10:17

That's not to say many women don't find them painful - I can understand how they do, but please don't make out that those of us who say we don't find them painful are lying.

I agree, I find them neither painful nor uncomfortable.

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