To wish I could come up with a solution to make people realise that their online words have consequences?

[Littleideasbigbook]

MN is generally okay, and I always try to focus on the support and useful replies but there is always at least one or two posters who go on a thread and write snippy, nasty replies. I have just seen one where a new mum was asking for support as her DH was potentially cheating and someone mocked her for writing 'baby' instead of 'the baby' What is wrong with people?

Facebook and Twitter are absolute cesspits for it - constant sniping and belittling or outright abuse in comments sections. If we talked to each other like that constantly in RL there would be violence and upset 24/7. But we don't. I don't know what the answer is, wish I did. But AIBU to wish there was a stock phrase that we could get people to start using that would stop people in there tracks and make them think about the way they are communicating? The way we teach kids with a short sharp 'No!' when they go towards a fire/road other danger or something. An operant conditioning type of intervention to think before you type?

I await the expected pile on of 'We don't live in a Utopia' and 'What makes you the internet police' that is incoming

*their tracks

But half the function of AIBU is giving people an outlet where they don't have to dress up their response...

Plus there are a lot of people on MN with nothing better to do than criticise people online.

No disagreement from me.

I think context is important but a nice catchy STFU type answer reminding us all to have a bit of temperance would be good.

I do think if you post in AIBU you are farming for traffic and you will get these drive by posts.
One great thing about mnet is the actual subject topics for serious threads are mostly self policed.
AIBU is quantity over quality or for a laff.

Did the sniping about the op's use of 'baby' go unchallenged? The thing I like about MN is that posters will usually crowd out that kind of snottiness.

@Littleideasbigbook I saw that comment about ‘baby’ and totally agree with you. A mean, nasty little comment.

@Dinosforall but there is a difference between shooting from the hip and not having to be polite and actively seeking out to direct venom towards a fellow human being.

@FourTeaFallOut only one who challenged it was OP herself.

I guess you should expect it (and I do) but then why? Why do we have to expect shitty behaviour online that we wouldn't in RL.

I would like an online equivalent that has the impact of 'Did you mean to be so rude?' as that works a treat in RL.

Unfortunately you have to take the rough with the smooth if you post on a huge open site like Mumsnet. If I see sheer, goady spitefulness I will mention it directly to the person who is acting that way directly on the thread. People will not always post with #bekind in mind, the internet doesn't work like that and you need to be quite mentally robust. So - snippiness, nastiness - just unfortunate. Out and out hate speech (such as that directed towards some gender critical feminists in recent years) not acceptable and should be subject to police involvement imo.

YABU. It's not up to you to police people's posting here or elsewhere. I got called a cunt for correcting someone's grammar once (on here) - it goes around and comes around I think. I think if you aren't prepared to read "vile" stuff AIBU isn't for you and while I don't always like it like that, the largely unmoderated nature is good.
I got called a cunt for something else, and recently a "shit person" - needless to say I don't agree, but it's sometimes inevitable when people disagree and have strong opinions. I don't want everything to be all nicey nicey.

I have seen that daft homily about "if you can't say anything nice" on here - it's akin to "don't speak ill of the dead" to which I have one reply - Jimmy Savile.

@Chicchicchicchiclana how do you call it out? That is what im interested in.

I am not necessarily asking everyone to 'Be kind' just 'Why are you motivated to kick someone when they are down'. I usually ignore but I don't think I am right for ignoring.

I love the idea of a short sharp 'No!'. Next time I see a nasty and unnecessary post, I'm going to quote them and write just that

I think people lose their inhibitions to some extent when they're behind a screen, and dickish tendencies (which wouldn't be normally noticeable in their behaviour) come all the way to the fore.

I have had to leave this site once before because I didn't have a thick enough skin, but I came back because I realised the support outweighed the dickishness, by far.

Internet Punch Button.

If someone says something they'd never dare to in real life because they'd get punched...you hit the internet Punch Button and a boxing glove emerges from their screen to give them a sharp jab to the nose.

@littleideasbigbook - I might quote the objectionable words back to them and say "I think that's unhelpful/rude/inappropriate/un-called for" or something like that. If I said "I think that makes you sound like a complete cunt" I would be deleted (even if were true) .

I've had my knuckles rapped lots of times on MN for stepping in when I thought the moderation was lacking. Fair do's it's not my site but sometimes my large arse fails to sit sufficiently firmly on my hands.

I agree.

And I love the general blunt nature of advice on MN. I'm not one for pussy footing around and like that we keep away from the 'you do you hun' responses when the OP's clearly been a bit of a twat.

But...there can be some unnecessarily rude, belittling or nasty posts sometimes. I do think they usually get their arses handed to them though.

The opening posters do sometimes ask for it!

Maybe the thin-skinned need to keep away, or find a fluffier part of the network?

the whole point of an anonymous forum is to get straight and honest answers isn't it?

So even if you wouldn't get them in real life to your face, you are not asking people face-to-face.

If you ask a stupid question, no one will tell you to your face that it is stupid. People on YABU will. So now you know.

Obviously there are some nasty trolls, probably bitter and meek in real life who use the internet to let go of all their rage, or men-haters they are something else. You also have points of view, what you call nasty will be just a normal reply for someone else.

@SantaClaritaDiet

the whole point of an anonymous forum is to get straight and honest answers isn't it?

So even if you wouldn't get them in real life to your face, you are not asking people face-to-face.

If you ask a stupid question, no one will tell you to your face that it is stupid. People on YABU will. So now you know.

Obviously there are some nasty trolls, probably bitter and meek in real life who use the internet to let go of all their rage, or men-haters they are something else. You also have points of view, what you call nasty will be just a normal reply for someone else.

^This