Perceptions of the UK from MNetters abroad...?

[HarryHarry1]

Just curious...

I’m from the UK but I’ve lived overseas for a while. My only real connection to my birthplace now is through Mumsnet. From reading people’s posts on here I’ve started to notice real cultural differences between British people and say, the people where I live. I’m thinking especially of the amount of complaining I’ve seen on here about the coronavirus - about having to wear a mask, or people not wearing masks, or not being able to see family or friends, or places being shut, etc. I’m not saying people don’t have the right to complain - it’s a shitty situation for everyone. But I’ve noticed that people where I live now seem to be just getting on with it without making a fuss. They have accepted the new rules are just part of their lives now. They seem to have much more of a stiff upper lip about it than we do. Obviously they might be going home and complaining on social media too but I don’t think so somehow.

Anyway it made me wonder what other cultural differences (real or just perceived) people overseas have noticed about Britain from reading Mumsnet.

Have a read of a book called Watching the English by Kate Fox. It’s from 2004 but still has some relevant insights and updated in 2014 most of which are quite positive. I can’t quite remember them all but a lot of it rang true.

This is from amazon...
In WATCHING THE ENGLISH anthropologist Kate Fox takes a revealing look at the quirks, habits and foibles of the English people. She puts the English national character under her anthropological microscope, and finds a strange and fascinating culture, governed by complex sets of unspoken rules and byzantine codes of behaviour.

The rules of weather-speak. The ironic-gnome rule. The reflex apology rule. The paranoid-pantomime rule. Class indicators and class anxiety tests. The money-talk taboo and many more . . .

Through a mixture of anthropological analysis and her own unorthodox experiments (using herself as a reluctant guinea-pig), Kate Fox discovers what these unwritten behaviour codes tell us about Englishness.

@Costacoffeeplease you provided one comment based around one event that happened to someone that is not you in one building in one location within the UK. No one said your one comment about one event from one building within an entire group of countries was based on online readings.

I have come to realise that political correctness in the UK is huge, and it influences everything. Imo it's the reason why the trans rights movement has made such big progress in the UK, less so in other European countries.
It's also the reason why there are exceptions regarding face masks. Where I live now, there are no exceptions. Anxiety, asthma, whatever - you need to wear a mask or you can't go anywhere. Whereas in the UK, you couldn't possibly tell someone to wear a face mask when they suffer from, say, anxiety, some people seem to regard that as a breach of human rights.

That being said, I really wouldn't base your idea of life in the UK on what you read on MN. People come here to whinge and air their unpleasant opinions they wouldn't dare utter in RL.

@Pinkfluffyunicornsdancing That’s the inference though, that those of us not in the U.K. are basing our opinions on mumsnet etc. That was a couple of examples that he experienced during his trip, and there are many more that have come from friends and family. We’re not all regurgitating mass media reports

I'll bite. I like Mumsnet because it is a window back to England. It gives you a great insight into the zeitgeist. I feel very sorry for people right now in the UK. I feel like if they'd had a competent govt like we have here, there would have been compliance. As it is, every single thing that could have been fucked up by Boris has been, and there has been so much hypocrisy and u-turning, so many cases of over lenient rules at the beginning and over harsh rules at the end, that I can really see why there is confusion. I also think the UK attitude to disease is different. Here, there is still a very real concern about any kind of illness, even a cold. The population go out of their way to not get ill. In the UK, we almost pride ourselves on our resilience to illness, whereas perhaps this time, caution was the order of the day!

Mumsnet ruled by the loony left? Even fifteen years ago it was split fairly evenly between the far right (I'm sure we all remember certain famous posters from back then and their "interesting" views on the disabled etc) and the soi-disant Bloomsbury intelligentsia wannabes.

Since about 2010 it seems more the natural home of the Sun reader and the Brexit voter. Who also seem to fit into the Venn diagram of Covid-doesn't-existers and "I'm flouting the regulations aren't I cool"ers.

I've lived abroad for almost 30 years, been on MN for almost 20 and work for a UK organisation that means I spend 4 months there every year.

Nothing the current government does, Covid or otherwise, surprises me. The reaction (in the quite literal sense of the word) of the people, does.

@Costacoffeeplease the OP is literally about basing opinions on what is read on MN etc.

But I have to add after a visit home this month....it is a plain fact that you are not wearing masks enough inside. I went to a restaurant where no one seemed to even know masks existed, a shopping centre where I saw people without, I looked in the window of a Leeds barber shop - also packed out with customers without masks. Where I am, you can't even go into the town centre without feeling shamed into wearing one, even though outside it is not law. I also have no idea why there are no masks in school corridors etc. That is such an easy and cost free rule.

I don't think it's the loony left complaining about masks is it?

It is, along with the loony right! It's loons from both sides and tbh I find that there is a correlation with those who attend these protests being the ones less likely to actually contribute to society.

I live in the UK and never see people without masks on. Where I live, people adhere to social distancing and I am always seeing hand sanitiser bottles being used (both public and personal ones)

People like to moan, sure, but I don't see the level of moaning on MN about masks replicated in real life.

@adawong

This is MN where the loony left rule. Most people just follow the rules.

Yup.

From reading people’s posts on here I’ve started to notice real cultural differences between British people and say, the people where I live
MNs is nothing at all like my non virtual life. MNers are a small subset of the UK. If I bring up the site to my friends, their reaction is why would I waste my time reading about strangers moans!

Is scary to think that people in other countries would believe this is typical Britain, it really isn't!

British people just love to moan. It’s part of their culture and identity. They moan about the weather, their jobs, their kids, politics, their food...it’s just a relentless round of moaning. At least when Brexit hits they’ll have something proper to moan about. Fuming they’ll be, and loving every second of a good, weapons-grade, moan.

While it sounds rather harsh, people in this part of the world have talked about 'whinging poms' since I was young - long before MN was around!

Political correctness is huge in the UK compared to other european countries I've lived in despite the guardianistas claiming it's the most bigoted place in the world.
There's no way a statue would be allowed to be toppled in France without serious consequences. Theres also no way you'd see as much stuff translated or free interpreting provided on anywhere near the same scale as it is in the UK for example.

Sorry that was to@WomenAndVulvas

TheSeedsOfADream

👏 👏 👏, abso-fcucking-lutely.

To me I think the majority of people in the UK are handling things great, i'm in a country with very little restrictions and poorly enforced ones at that, if the government introduced restrictions on the level of the UKs there would be serious violence and riots. They tried at the very start and quickly backtracked.
I do however think Boris and his pals have handled things terribly and I say that as right leaning politics wise.

So glad the thread police are alive and well

An embarrassing shambles and a pitiful shadow of their former selves.

Brexit. Boris. Government and people's response to covid. All pathetic

I read 'Watching The English' by Kate Fox and while it was entertaining, much of it seemed very dated - I wouldn't recommend it as a guide to English behaviour in the 2020s.

@Pelleas
I agree with you, it feels outdated

I have the original Watching the English and agree. Even then I found myself thinking it's more like that mad speech from John Major when he was going on about old ladies with wicker baskets and cricket teas than a modern observation of society. It seemed very stereotypical and I was surprised it had been written by an academic. I use a lot of British Culture stuff in my job and it's that kind of lazy generalising that has me explaining at least 10 times a year that no, we don't drink tea at 4 and no, my dad doesn't wear a bowler hat.

I'm from South Asia and something that intrigues me on threads about houses is that so many houses seem to have only one bathroom. Is that usually the case?

I've lived in several Asian countries and anything with two bedrooms and more would have a minimum of two bathrooms. Wouldn't it be really difficult to manage without extra bathrooms, especially if any plumbing work has to be done?

Also, is it really considered so infra dig to live in a flat? It's absolutely the norm in cities here, so this is another thing that's puzzled me in threads.

I'm from South Asia and something that intrigues me on threads about houses is that so many houses seem to have only one bathroom. Is that usually the case?

When you say 'bathrooms' do you mean rooms with a bathtub/shower in them, or do you mean toilets?

It tends to be older houses that have only one toilet. There are lots of houses in Britain that date from before it was usual to have an indoor toilet/bathroom at all, so at some point either they have been extended to add one or a bedroom has been sacrificed for that purpose.

Houses built more recently, though, tend to have multiple toilets and I've seen even quite small new-builds with an ensuite loo/shower as well as a family bathroom with bathtub.

Also, is it really considered so infra dig to live in a flat? It's absolutely the norm in cities here, so this is another thing that's puzzled me in threads.

No, I don't think so - like you say, it's fairly normal in cities.

Some types of flat have a reputation as being awful to live in but that's more to do with their construction than the notion of flats being infra dig.

In the 1960s, there were an awful lot of cheap, system-built tower blocks put up as council accommodation in the UK - often not even put together properly - so soon had problems with damp and so on, and issues with the design of estates made them ideal for muggers etc. Many tower blocks were clad in plastic to try to combat damp problems, and of course it's now been discovered that the cladding is a terrible fire risk so it has to come off.

But a modern apartment in the city, or an older well-built flat in a nice area would be regarded as a good place to live.