AIBU to be quietly livid? Post lady commented on my post !!

[Rosiebrown1]

Hi everyone:)
I live in a large village of about 2000 residents and live as a single parent with a two year old.
Yesterday the local post lady, (whom I know by her first name but is not an acquaintance of any kind), stopped me whilst I was out walking with DD.
She basically started the conversation with, ‘ Oi, do you have a ‘bloke’ living with you now’? She wasn’t friendly. She was forceful and matter of fact.
I was a little taken aback at first and asked why. Her reply was that she had delivered a small parcel through my letterbox a few days before with a man’s name on the address.
When I realised which post she was referring to I stupidly gave her an explanation: My neighbour had been having trouble receiving an order for a pair of prescription reading glasses and I suggested that he could have them delivered to my house. My address is easier to find for some reason and I thought nothing of offering assistance so he could receive something important. Nothing more I may add.
Her reply was, ‘ well I mentioned it to my neighbour and my husband and we all thought it was a bit strange and wondered if ‘you’d moved someone in.’
WTF? She is discussing my post with people and even challenging me in the street regarding my relationship status!?
Am I over reacting here?
Sorry but I feel it’s cheeky at best and I feel scrutinised and bullied at worst.
I take it on board if I am just being prickly.
Thanks for listening x

@MaverickDanger

If she’s that observant, I’m surprised she didn’t recognise the name as being your neighbours.

Absolutely right, she's got to be the world's worst postie if she doesn't know the name of the neighbour. Have you missed some part of the story out, it doesn't make sense that she'd think it was a 3rd person why wouldn't she automatically think the sender had got the wrong house number?

Perhaps she did recognize the name and thought you were taking up with the local bachelor.

If your neighbour is having trouble having post delivered, and she delivered it to you, then isn't she the one who can't find his address? Surely it's your duty to point her uselessness out to her?!

Call Royal mail I'd eat my hat if there wasn't a customer confidentiality clause in their contract.
OP it is none of her business who you have or haven't got living there but if your claiming HB and benefits as a single person be careful.
All that aside report her for breach of confidentiality and possibly GDPR breach.

@Cauterize

I'd have told her to mind her own bloody business and slammed the door in her face. Bit late for that now but I think you should say something to her next time you see her.

It would be hard for her to slam the door in anyone's face, given she wasn't at home at the time!

*you're

Report her to Royal Mail.
Breach of confidentiality for a start..

Back in my single parent days when my older three children were all in primary school I saved for literally years to surprise them with a few days at Disneyland Paris in the Christmas holidays. I had to renew my passport and get the kids done because they didn’t have one previously. The postman knocked the door for a signature when the passports were being delivered and two of the kids were stood behind me as he boomed to them ‘Off on holiday are you, you lucky things?! Where are you off too then, bet you’re excited to be having a Christmas holiday!’

I’d kept it a secret to surprise them for such a long time and I was beyond furious that he ruined it so close to the time. I’m still salty about it 10 years later.

Wow.
GDPR.

So cheeky. You need to send yourself a postcard as if it is from someone else saying “is that nosy postwoman still reading your mail?”. As per Ricky Gervais’ After Life.

I would be really angry about this. How dare she question you about your private affairs and gossip about you and your post to other people? Unbelievable and I'm gobsmacked she actually told you she did.

You really do need to report her. I have no doubt she has also breached the privacy of other citizens. Completely unacceptable.

WTAF?!? I have no idea who you report her to, but if you find out make sure you do. Nosy cow!!

Really? That’s dreadful but I’ve had really good Posties over the years.

I live rurally and my Postie is fab. Once she drove back to my house at the end of her round on her way back to the depot, to deliver a parcel because I wasn’t home when she called earlier in the day.
She always has sweets for the children at Halloween and Christmas too.

My dm and df have been separated for many years.
7 years ago my dm had an operation and needed to convalesce with us but due to previous commitments also had a week with my df. We arranged for her hospital follow up appointment to be delivered to my df’s home.
A week later my df got a letter from the council asking why he was paying a single person’s council tax when he had a partner living with him.
We assume the postman reported the name on the letter to the council.
There’s some very nosy and spiteful people about.

Even in a small city we tend to have regular posties and couriers (and our neighbours take in each others' parcels if asked to). Between them I reckon they could timetable our commuting/being at home patterns. We have had "regulars" for years.

Going back decades, our postman used to summarise our postcards before handing them over or comment on them if we bumped into him (small town).

I am always surprised that the post office hasn't diversified into providing a "check and chat to the elderly" subscription service (albeit socially distanced).

I’d be worried that her tittle tattle would lead to someone reporting me for no longer being a single household.
I think you can make a complaint online - if I were you I’d do it. She shouldn’t be discussing her deliveries with others

My DB works in management for Royal mail and he says he and and any one of his colleagues would be glad to be made aware of any staff behaving as such.

Out of respect and to help him I told my postie about additional mail for a different name so he woulsnt me confused but he never commented on it.

The Hermes guy comments on my particular labelled parcels especially when he sees how happy I am haha.

There is a guy on facebook called the troll man who sends post labelled with funny things or wrapped as a phallic shape... maybe you should order something from him and watch her face

She definitely recognised the neighbour's name. Believe it or not, she actually thought she was being discreet by saying "a male name" and not stating "him next door".

I agree with the PP: if you were forced to let your neighbour have his delivery made to yours because the delivery person somehow can't find his house, that's squarely her to blame in the first place!

It's one of those situations where the vast majority of post delivery people are not nosey and just want to do their job and get on with their lives; however, if you were a nosey person, I can well understand that the job of postman/woman might hold a particular interest for you.

You just know that she'll be clamouring to volunteer as a COVID marshall as soon as applications open.

She simply wants to help others in any way that she can and be a good citizen, you see....

I've had the same postie for years we exchange pleasantries.
He definitely knows lots about my life through my post as I'm sure he does with others.
If I'm late or have not paid my TV licence. Who is getting red letter reminder bills. Medical treatment centres always use the business name to stamp.
Thankfully he keeps the business to himself.

That's awful make a complaint.

Take a leaf out of "After Life" with Ricky Gervais, and send a postcard to yourself. Knowing that she will read it, but shouldnt, say "Postlady why dont you mind your own ruddy business and not put your nose into mine".

If nothing else it would make me feel better in your position!

I'd complain to the post office as that's definitely unprofessional of her (unless you have in fact moved someone in and not told DWP in which case she's obviously going to shop you if you complain!)