To be irritated at those parents who believe their kids are destined for greatness but deride any ambitious thoughts in other kids

[LampGenie]

It happened to my DD again today. The kids are now Y5 and their school is pretty academic so many if the parents look to how other kids are doing in the weekly tests they get to endure their kids are the biggest ‘geniuses’...

Now, DD had a rockier start and having been successful myself tho not always been massively academic I do hold that it’s important but not the be all and end all. However, DD has definitely hit her stride and is now going through tests and homework as if she’s on fire...

So now she has become more interested in a particular field, she mentions it to one of her school friends parents today (who know her well and have heard her on this subject before) and they promptly respond: ‘well or a...,(much less qualified thing in the same field)’ in such a way that what she suggested wouldn’t be a reasonable expectation for her to have.

Before anyone starts. Yes I am aware they are young and it is highly unlikely that she is going to do this exact thing, but AIBU to think if I turned round and sat on their kids dreams (as they, and any other dream ‘they’ have is just there for the taking obviously) it would not go down well because with parents like that, it’s one rule one way, but not in return...

You might be slightly over thinking this.

Parent gave a throwaway comment. Yes they could have been more encouraging, but perhaps they weren't thinking or were naming other things in that field as a point that there are other jobs in that area too. I can't imagine your DD would know the other one required less qualifications.

I wouldn't give it another thought and just encourage your DD to aim high.

Fair enough. It’s just not the first time it’s happened. But I am pregnant and do maybe a bit hormonal and protective myself :)

So your dad is taking about, say, becoming a doctor, and the other parent mentions nursing? Something like that?

Does your dd even know they require less qualifications? I don't think the other parent mentioned it deliberately to put your dd down.

Sorry I meant dd

Depends on the spirit of the comment and TBH the occupation! So if DD said 'can't wait to be an astronaut' and friend said 'yes great or you could be an engineer at NASA' then you're probably BU.

Interesting direction to go (downwards) but I guess that is directly the assumption when a lot of people talk to girls. Some think they're being realistic some are just curtailing female ambition and some just like to be snide. One of the many reasons why I avoid other kids parents. Especially right now. When do you even get to be having these conversations with other people's children? Time to take advantage of the pandemic - avoid negative ninnies

Let’s take an example - and it’s an example and not meaning to be derogatory to either but think of the difference between say a teaching assistant and a professor.

The thing is this person is all for gender equality, boy or girl doesn’t matter, everyone can do anything so it can’t be about curtailing because she’s a girl.

I get the fact that at this age DD wouldn’t know about difference in qualifications but it really felt like one of those situation where your child does something for fun, their child will be a concert pianist, even tho the reality is neither will be at either extreme, just some kind of middling non professional good...

Some parents cannot resist putting other children down. Yanbu and it irritates the shit out of me too and I have no pregnancy hormones to blame 😂

I cannot imagine saying to somebody else's child, or parent, anything other than 'wow, that sounds fantastic, it's great that you're thinking about what you want to do!'

OP the only opinion that matters to your kids is yours. They will or won’t be encouraged by your actions. Everything else is white noise.

I find it weird that any one is aware of how academic any of the kids are in comparison to one another in Year 5. No parent in my child’s school would have spoken about test results or even have known who was achieving more than someone else as far as I knew. It just wasn’t a normal topic of conversation. Mind you, I wasn’t too close to any of the parents so we did more of the small talk type conversation but I still find it odd that they would have made this comment with any meaning behind it.

Your massively overthinking. It was a throwaway comment.

^^ you’re