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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To put my boy in girls clothes sometimes

87 replies

hibbledibble · 27/09/2020 13:16

He is a toddler, so doesn't care. I have lots of lovely clothes and that aren't overly girly. Is it ok to put him in these?

I'm not thinking floral dresses, but pink vests (under his clothes), a navy jacket in a 'girl' cut, red shoes. I think it's ok, but I am meeting resistance from others.

He has beautiful long lashes, and people often think he is a girl whatever he is wearing, but I don't see this as an issue.

OP posts:

ScrumptiousJohn · 27/09/2020 15:07

My girls wear both "girls" and "boys" clothes (yes yes yes, I think we all know what they are, and that you don't need a penis to wear blue etc etc...), and my boys wear SOME of the "girl" clothes, but tbh (and it annoys me that I even think this way, or that it is the case), I think that girls wearing boys stuff is seen as more acceptable than the other way round. So I'll put my boys in, for example, flowery wellies but they'll be in "boy" clothes. Or leggings handed down from sisters, but with boy shoes and boy jumper etc.

I sadly feel like I'm "trying to make a point" or "trying to be the so cool, so accepting, so liberal" mum if my boys are all kitted out in flowers, pink and frills.

I don't think it'll have any affect whatsoever on them, but the comments from others might, and so I limit the clothes I pass on to which child. As I say, girls get fewer comments if wearing "boy" stuff, so I do that more.

Call me weak.

Waveysnail · 27/09/2020 15:09

To me it would depend on type red shoe. Red patent leather may janes with butterflies then no, cute red boots yep. My sons often wore pink vests as I'm terrible at turning whites different colours when washing

BarbaraofSeville · 27/09/2020 15:14

I feel sorry for the OP on threads like this

Why? She's clearly angling for loads of replies congratulating her on how liberal and free thinking she is. Gets a bit tedious after a while.

AintOverUntilTheCatLadySings · 27/09/2020 15:14

I've got a DD and am pregnant with a boy. Apart from the dresses, I've kept as much of her old clothes as I can for him to wear.

Pink, glitter and leopard print are just going to be treated as neutrals in this house 😂

Dress him however you want - there's so little time before they learn to talk and start turning down your lovingly chosen outfits to pick their own strange combos.

My brothers used to choose to wear girls' clothes up until the age of about 6. Although they'd be mortified to be reminded of this now. One of my brothers, 'Harry' grew his hair into long curls and told us his name was 'Harriet' when he was about three and my other brother would tantrum if he couldn't wear my mum's high heels to the shops. They grew out of it quite quickly.

Katyppp · 27/09/2020 15:14

In RL girls and boys wear similar clothes most of the time.
On MN, boys wear sparkly dresses and girls wear digger tops.
On MN, parents are desparate for disapproval of their child's wardrobe, so they can come on here and pretend they don't know the difference between boys' and girls' clothing and conclude how modern and liberal they are. Others join the debate to try and outdo each other about how modern and Liberal they are.
In RL, people think it's a bit odd then forget all about it.
OP, you clearly knew the answer before you posted.

ktp100 · 27/09/2020 15:17

I used to buy neutral coloured bits if I liked them and they weren't overtly 'girly', especially the comfy leggings.

I had a bit of a kick back from family members too, not for the girls bits but because I bought a lovely boys summer shirt & shorts set from Mothercare that had a baby pink polo shirt with it. My Auntie (small town, small mind personified) said I might make him gay if I dressed him like that!

She also called him a cry-baby because he cried when her foster child (a girl) scraped her nails down his face.

Glad to say I've been happily NC for 3 years now, best thing I ever did!

randomsabreuse · 27/09/2020 15:20

All trousers get holes or stains, leggings are cheap...

RichPetunia · 27/09/2020 15:23

Hi, if it’s clothes that either sex could wear then that’s absolutely fine. Otherwise no.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 27/09/2020 15:25

Well my 13 year old boy has merrily bought small women's running gear because it fits, my 11 year old girl buys clothes and shoes from whatever section she pleases and my 8 year old boy does too, he has a few "girl" cut t shirts because he liked the designs (green with a parrot is one of them) and he gets hands me downs from his siblings and picks what to keep and what to charity shop based on what he likes not on the cut off the clothes. A current fave is a penguin top which is "girls" .

MagpieSong · 27/09/2020 15:25

I’ve always used girls jeggings (Boys jeans can be so tough and the buttons awkward when they’re young) and some other girls clothes for my DS. They aren’t bright pink with flowers all over them, but they’re sold in the girls section. I bought an elephant baby grow from the girls section, still not sure why it was there when it was utterly unisex. I think often boys clothes can be a bit naff and blue and boring, so for me, it’s more about whether it suits him and does the job. He also wears boys clothes, but they mostly seem unisex really. Also, I wish they’d sort out boys shoes, they can be so blooming dull. DS says he wishes they had ‘David Bowie’ (Esque) shoes for boys, I don’t blame him, why do only girls seem to get glitter and fun?

anorangeaday · 27/09/2020 15:29

My DS wears DD’s hand me downs frequently

Imadehimlikethat · 27/09/2020 15:32

@RichPetunia

Hi, if it’s clothes that either sex could wear then that’s absolutely fine. Otherwise no.

How do you define that though?

EL8888 · 27/09/2020 15:32

Absolutely fine, no point in letting clothes go to waste and increasingly l think there is less and less differentiation in male and female clothes. To be honest lm never fussed by what other people think

LolaSmiles · 27/09/2020 19:12

In RL girls and boys wear similar clothes most of the time.
On MN, boys wear sparkly dresses and girls wear digger tops.
On MN, parents are desparate for disapproval of their child's wardrobe, so they can come on here and pretend they don't know the difference between boys' and girls' clothing and conclude how modern and liberal they are. Others join the debate to try and outdo each other about how modern and Liberal they are.
In RL, people think it's a bit odd then forget all about it.
This ^^

My DC wear leggings/joggers with vests and tops. Last time I checked a range of colours with animals on them, stripes and patterns were boringly unisex. We've passed clothes on (and received clothes) from parents of boys and girls because most clothing for babies is unisex unless you're big into 'look my baby is a GIRL see the frills and pointless bows / make sure you know my boy is a BOY by paying attention to the slogan tops, diggers and blue blue blue' stereotypes.

If a boy was wearing a pair of leggings that were perhaps more stereotypically girly then I'd probably not bat an eyelid or a pair of red trainers/knitted pram shoes. Same for girls in a pair of more typically boyish dungarees. If a baby boy was wearing twee parent red Mary Janes and quite clearly a stereotypically girly coat then I'd not care but probably think the parent was on the hunt for woke points / was desperately hoping someone called their boy 'she' so they'd have a good story to tell bore other mums with over coffee.

ToffeePennie · 27/09/2020 19:17

My two year old has a “girls” rainbow jumper, “girls” leggings and “girls” tops (pink with a giant dinosaur on) my 6 year old is allowed to choose his out of school clothes and he has pink, purple and rainbow coloured stuff all from the tescos “girls” section. He even has some super cute black leggings with a criss cross cut out at the bottom (I just took the bows off) which he wears with a green minecraft tee, bright pink and green sparkly “girls” trainers and a pink and blue minecraft hat. Frankly he rocks the look and never fails to get amazing compliments on it (he’s so sparkly and bling he’s impossible to ignore) team it with a stampy face mask and he literally looks a million dollars. But most of it’s from the “girls” section. But he looks amazing, so why should he conform? He’s happy with pink tees and purple sparkles, let him alone!

Original poster

hibbledibble · 27/09/2020 22:19

Hmm. A lot of unnecessary criticism now. I am keen to reuse hand me downs as I don't see a need to consume by buying new, for both environmental and financial reasons. Bringing up children is expensive enough! I'm glad that some here are willing to discuss.

OP posts:

VestaTilley · 27/09/2020 22:31

It’s totally fine; children should be free to wear pink or blue or whatever they like. I hate the gendered clothes we foist on our children from the cradle.

brushandmop · 28/09/2020 01:14

@Marmitecrackers The 1950s called......

Mariola321 · 28/09/2020 01:52

I prefer boys to look like boys. No problem with gay men but boys with girl haircuts and girl clothes looks stupid,

Angelina82 · 28/09/2020 04:11

In the real world absolutely not a chance in hell. On here - there are no boys and girls clothes. Funny I’ve never met a real life person who dresses boys in frilly pink outfits.

This.

Monty27 · 28/09/2020 04:16

I hope you understand your DC if he gets issues about it. I think you might cause issues in the real world. And your upcoming DD

Tomatoesneedtoripen · 28/09/2020 04:18

my ds as a tiny baby wore hand me down pink vests and when i ended up taking him to the GP she was very shocked he was wearing a pink cardigan
i am not sure in the toddler stage it is quite necessary though

TheFormerPorpentinaScamander · 28/09/2020 04:28

Sounds fine to me. But surely toddler coats are cut the same for girls and boys? I mean girls and boys are the same shape at that age. (Never had a dd so not much experience with girls coats).

My niece wears my sons old dressing gown and slippers at my mums house. She did buy her pink ones "because she's a girl" but my niece refused to wear them because she wants her cousins old ones (he's her hero).

@Mariola321 my ds2 (13) has hair thats midway down his back. Probably what you would call a 'girls cut'. He looks freaking awesome. Sadly parents like you exist and pass their horrible opinions onto their children. Which leads to lovely boys like mine being bullied.

seayork2020 · 28/09/2020 04:45

Why not buy a doll?

I don't give two hoots what a boy or girl choose to wear but yes I do think it is odd to dress up a child like they are a novelty play thing.

but then if no one can see an item of clothing what is the point of making a point of it doing it?

But if your child does not have enough clothes and the girl things happen to be there then sure that is just being resourceful

Nancydrawn · 28/09/2020 05:28

I think the real question is, who are these others? Your partner? Your family? Your in-laws? Random strangers?

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