Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Opinions on holiday situation?

21 replies

LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 11:45

My DH has two children who are school age, one about to start secondary and the other just a couple of years off. We have one young child together who is not in school yet.

When I met DH, he had never really been abroad all that often, I think maybe twice in his life and didn't take the kids abroad on holidays, they went away in the UK, my husband has family in a holiday spot in the UK.

I grew up going abroad every year and I enjoyed doing so still until I met DH as my family have property abroad (although don't live there) so I've always been able to go cheaply.

Since I've been with him, we haven't been abroad all together (Ive been a couple of times with my family) as we simply couldn't afford to go in the school holidays.

I want to take our joint DC there with my mum to our families holiday home whilst I still can. She goes every year and obviously outside of the school holidays and I will be able to do this for the next few/couple of years until our DC starts school.

AIBU? This would mean we'd go away all 5 of us to a UK holiday like we always do and then I'd go with our joint DC and my mum later in the year to my families holiday home whilst the older two are at school. DH wouldn't come with us.

I have absolutely no issue with going in the summer holidays with all of us, in fact id like to, if we can afford it but DH earns more than me and whilst I think he could afford it if he really wanted to, I think he just goes with the status quo so isn't really bothered. He would need to pay for the majority and he never seems as fussed which is obviously up to him.

I know DH would like to take his kids abroad at some point and they'd be welcome to stay at the house so we wouldn't have to spend money on hotel etc... but he never seems bothered enough to take the lead and pay for it (I've looked every year and it's nearly 1.5- 2k just for flights in the holidays!).

OP posts:
Ylvamoon · 27/09/2020 11:49

Just go, spend time with your mum and DC.

OhCaptain · 27/09/2020 11:49

It’s fine. He’s choosing not to make the effort for his dc. You’re choosing to make the effort for yours.

I can’t stand that type of passivity to he honest. He’d like to be able to take them abroad but just can’t be arsed to do it! So leave him on.

Original poster
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 11:53

Thanks, I think I will.

Its just sad because I know the SDC would like to go. They've asked before. And they are welcome, but I can't fork out another grand to take them, he needs to do that.

OP posts:
movingonup20 · 27/09/2020 12:05

Where abouts is the house - could you drive? We always drove our kids abroad (eg France, Spain, Italy) stopping a couple of nights each way to explore other places you wouldn't otherwise get to visit. Ferry crossings are around £100 each way plus fuel and overnight stops (i recommend ibis styles as they include breakfast, or holiday inn if reasonable) lunches we bought from the supermarket whilst buying petrol then went to a park or sometimes a McDonald's with a play area and we would find a cheap fixed price deal for dinner, often €15 in France. My kids must have liked it because now they are going without me (adults now).

CakeRequired · 27/09/2020 12:08

I would keep pointing out to him that it's his laziness that is stopping his children going abroad. What a selfish person. He has the money so what is he saving it for? I guess just himself? Confused Poor kids..

Potterpotterpotter · 27/09/2020 12:12

I’d go with my D.C. and mum.

Florencex · 27/09/2020 12:13

I don’t think YABU but I think your DH is being unfair on his other children considering they have expressed an interest in going abroad.

Original poster
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 13:37

Its not that DH has the money just sitting around to book it tomorrow but yes, if he wanted to I reckon he could save enough to go quite easily but it just doesn't seem a priority for him.

I know lots of people don't necessarily prioritise abroad holidays, he's never been one to go on them and as far as I know the SDC have never really questioned it until they've seen me going to my families place.

OP posts:
Jokie · 27/09/2020 14:14

I'd go with your mum and DCs but have an explanation ready or get your DH to have an explanation for why his kids aren't going with you (especially as they expressed an interest). It shouldn't be your fault or responsibility to explain why.

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 27/09/2020 14:27

I would go. It's not your responsibility to provide a holiday for his kids because he can't be arsed.

Branleuse · 27/09/2020 16:54

Have you asked him what he wants to do?

I dont think theres anything wrong with what youre suggesting either. Might be nice to do that as a whole family, even if hes not uber excited about it

Original poster
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 17:06

@Branleuse

Have you asked him what he wants to do?

I dont think theres anything wrong with what youre suggesting either. Might be nice to do that as a whole family, even if hes not uber excited about it

He says every year he'd like to take the kids to my families place.

I say yes that would be lovely and look at flights 'right DH it's £1,537.00 for flights during school hol'.... 'oh that's ridiculous, too expensive' etc etc... I've even said yep I know but it is what it is, I've suggested paying monthly for it etc... (Although that's a bit harder when it's just flights you're paying for). And he just does nothing about it and it gets left again.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 27/09/2020 17:08

what about going in the Easter/May/October holiday instead of summer? to bring the price down

Original poster
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 17:14

It still seems very expensive whichever holiday I look at. I've looked every year.

Not really October as it's not a country that would be overly hot still by then so seems a bit pointless tbh as you want to go for the beach and stuff really.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 27/09/2020 18:22

maybe if you go with your kid, then if his kids give him grief about it, that will give him incentive to fork out for all of you next time #

Original poster
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 18:39

@Branleuse

maybe if you go with your kid, then if his kids give him grief about it, that will give him incentive to fork out for all of you next time #
This could be true!
OP posts:
OhCaptain · 27/09/2020 18:39

That sounds really, really expensive. Is it Europe?

Original poster
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 18:41

Yes it's Europe. I looked at flights for next summer holiday today and it's 1.5k for flights for all of us. April holiday was £1,146. Obviously it varies slightly but every year I've looked it's been about this. Plus we'd have to get transfers at the other side which cost a lot as it's quite far from the airport, my family usually picks us up from the airport when I go on my own but there wouldn't be space in the car if all 5 of us went.

OP posts:
Sarahplane · 27/09/2020 18:43

That sounds expensive just for flights. Where is it?

OhCaptain · 27/09/2020 18:47

I’m shocked at that! I really am. We’re a family of 5 and we’ve never had to pay that for flights alone in April/May!

Original poster
LuckyToTheStar · 27/09/2020 18:50

Admittedly I've only briefly looked today for next year at one airline (easyJet) but most years when I've looked into it, it's over a grand at least no matter who I look with Sad with transfers on top it gets pretty ridiculous.

It's only Spain!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread