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AIBU?

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Original poster

OH is never happy for me?

26 replies

neverendingwashingqueen · 26/09/2020 14:14

I've just been offered a part time job today and I started my CIPD HR course last week. I've been a SAHM for 3 years so this is massive for me.

He never seems happy for me starts nagging at me for other things called me a stupid fucking bitch after because I let the kids snack on cereal out of the box.
Whenever something good happens for me he gets wound up and starts arguments.

I'm really close to his brother and he is so supportive in everything I do and I feel genuine happiness from him. OH is the complete opposite.

OP posts:
Vortice · 26/09/2020 14:17

He sounds absolutely horrible.

Does he like the idea of you being ‘dependent’ on him so he’s annoyed you’re working and studying?

Whatever his reasons there is no excuse, he is being vile and should NEVER speak to you like that.

minipie · 26/09/2020 14:18

Ugh. Anyone who calls you a stupid fucking bitch is better off out of your life IMO. Even without all the other stuff you mentioned which is also horrible.

Congratulations on your job and training, that’s absolutely great, especially as you need your independence so you can consider whether you really want to be with this man.

RainbowReader · 26/09/2020 14:27

Is the brother single? Grin

He sounds vile OP. How dare he speak to you in that way. Congratulations on getting back to work

Original poster
neverendingwashingqueen · 26/09/2020 14:30

He's changed since we've been together he use to be a hard worker and now he hasn't worked in over a year and doesn't seem bothered about going back to work.

I know one day I will leave him I dream off being independent and finding someone that really loves me.

His brother only likes men unfortunately 🤣

OP posts:
Havaiana · 26/09/2020 14:32

Oh God leave him

Sunnydaysstillhere · 26/09/2020 14:33

Ime some abusers see a woman with a job a step too close to seeing them for who /what they are...

doctorhamster · 26/09/2020 14:33

Why on earth are you with a man who calls you a stupid fucking bitch? That's the point at which you kick him out.

Lifeisabeach09 · 26/09/2020 14:36

I know one day I will leave him I dream off being independent and finding someone that really loves me.

One day??? You mean after you've wasted the best years of your life on this man?

Nackajory · 26/09/2020 14:37

Abusive twat. Leave him as soon as you can.

HollowTalk · 26/09/2020 14:37

Oh come on, OP. What's the bloody point in this relationship? He's nasty to you and doesn't work, so he's spending all day every day being horrible to you.

Tell him it's over.

Etinox · 26/09/2020 14:40

Why can’t you leave him now? Doesn’t sound like he adds anything to your life.
Well done on job and training! Flowers

kazzer2867 · 26/09/2020 14:40

Wow OP. He sounds awful. I've just started a new job after being in a job I had for over 17 years and hated for the last 5. Been with my OH for over 25 years and he was so happy for me. Do you think he's jealous that you appear to be progressing whilst he's not (though it appears he doesn't want to), so he's putting you down to make himself feel better? I'd be thinking if this is the person I really want to be with if he can't feel happy for you. BTW congratulations.

Twisique · 26/09/2020 14:42

Make sure he cant claim to be a SAHD or dependent on you in any way.

Best to leave sooner rather than later!

Mummadeeze · 26/09/2020 14:44

It isn’t easy to just leave someone who is belittling you and knocking your self esteem. Particularly when you don’t have a lot of money and you have children. People on here always say ‘just leave’ but it isn’t as simple as that for most people. What I would say OP is if he has gradually got nastier it is doubtful it will reverse and he will turn it around. But, it sounds like he is insecure and jealous which is why he can’t be happy for you. If he got himself back to work and built his self esteem back up, he would probably be less bitter towards things going well for you. Being spoken to like that is unacceptable but I am sure you know that. Stay strong, take that job and run with it and get yourself in a good place to break free of him.

Original poster
neverendingwashingqueen · 26/09/2020 14:46

I have no where else to go I have two kids we have just moved house. It's not even possible.

I joined the gym and my gym stuff has just arrived and now he's pissed of that I'm going to the gym and he is the one that's going to suffer because he's going to have to take on the housework, he is so over the top.

My job is only part time and so is college and I won't be at the gym for long he's just a drama queen.

He's always giving me reasons as to why I shouldn't be doing things and it's so irritating just let me be me!

OP posts:
TwentyViginti · 26/09/2020 14:46

Make sure he cant claim to be a SAHD or dependent on you in any way

This!

thepeopleversuswork · 26/09/2020 14:46

Congrats on your job.

Now use it as a springboard to get away from this abusive dickhead.

baubled · 26/09/2020 14:48

Well done OP! One step forward for you and one step forward towards leaving the dick head

Dozer · 26/09/2020 14:49

Congratulations on the iob and HR course!

Be v careful about organising childcare: your partner is likely to do things to actively sabotage you working and studying. If he’s not working and now does more of the parenting he could also threaten to seek more custody of the DC when you split.

Sharpandshineyteeth · 26/09/2020 15:33

You’ll be leaving him very soon!! He’s going to make your life hell with his bitterness and jealously. Sounds like you have exciting things going on.

It’s not normal at all for a partner to not be happy for you.

GenevaL · 26/09/2020 15:41

Get rid of him as soon as you can. He’s treating you as a sone sort of rival that he wants to drag down to his level and not support and encourage as a partner.

Wakemeupwhenthisisover · 27/09/2020 18:09

Just leave him- what are you waiting for?

DorisDances · 27/09/2020 18:15

Congratulations on the job and good luck with your studies - it is a fab course and HR as a career has many options.

indimum · 24/02/2021 23:54

Op , how are you doing with job , snd family situation ? Hope you are well. I have a friend in somewhat similar situation. They are in financially ok . He makes good money but a d....head, she a teaching assts . 2 girls doing ok but tounger one showing sighns of strain , needy if I may say so. Teenager has found boyfriend , so can have time off from family. They have separated but not divorced, but it is stressful . So I can imagine it is not so easy to just leave. Hope you are doing well .

Nanny0gg · 25/02/2021 00:04

@neverendingwashingqueen

I have no where else to go I have two kids we have just moved house. It's not even possible.

I joined the gym and my gym stuff has just arrived and now he's pissed of that I'm going to the gym and he is the one that's going to suffer because he's going to have to take on the housework, he is so over the top.

My job is only part time and so is college and I won't be at the gym for long he's just a drama queen.

He's always giving me reasons as to why I shouldn't be doing things and it's so irritating just let me be me!

If he's not working, why do you need him around?

Surely you're affording it all without him?

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