Egg Donation list at what to do

[S1D2]

Egg donation repulse me, my partners forcing me into it, I'd rather not have a baby.

I've told him if he expects me to have a strangers baby, then it's only fair we use egg and sperm donors.

But he won't use donated sperm. Stating it needs to be biological his child.
But he don't care that I feel them same need for it to be biologically mine.

I think it should be a double donation, so the baby is equally ours and equally not ours.

Should I just leave him and be alone and childless, this I can cope with.

Should I give in and have his baby with a donated egg, knowing I will never love the child (he knows this and dosent care, he only wants what he wantd.... Because he works and I don't as he keeps reminding me)

I tell him to leave and go have his own kid, with someone else, so the kid gets a mom and dad that love it.

Or should HE compromise and do the double donation.

You should leave him.

Egg donation repulse me, my partners forcing me into it, I'd rather not have a baby.

1. Why are you with this man?

2. Any mildly decent fertility clinic in the UK will refuse you for IVF as you clearly don’t want it. It will be picked up on in the counselling session if not immediately by the medical team.

Nope, leave.

Sounds like there’s more going on here, why would you be happy to have a baby that has no biological link to either of its parent. You should not do this just to punish him. If you genuinely wanted a baby with him and a donor was the only way then I think you’d do it. Sounds like there are bigger issues here.

As an egg donor, this makes me sad.

@toomanyplants

Don't use someone very lovingly donated egg if you're not going to be totally happy with it. That child deserves more.

You should leave him. Even if you convince him for the double donation you know he cares more about himself than you.

I don't think you and this man are right for one another.

Carrying a baby and going through labour and birth is life changing. Going through so much When it isn't what you want will be soul destroying. Say no, and yes leave. You want different things.

Hi OP. I'm the parent of a donor-conceived baby (both eggs and sperm).

If you don't want to have a baby via donated eggs, then you absolutely should not do so. In my case, I was able to work through thinking about all the factors involved, and I realised that the biological link wasn't as important to me. I definitely love my baby very much. But, it's not the right course of action for everyone, and being the parent of a donor-conceived child is a particular responsibility that you really do need to be on board with.

I know that some couples do decide to go for double donation to put things on an even footing, but the fact is that you've said egg donation repulses you so really, I don't think that's the route for you. I also agree with the previous poster who questioned whether any clinic would treat you anyway, since you clearly don't want this. Plus, bear in mind that there's no guarantee of success - my baby was the result of my third round of donor egg treatment. This is not a process you should embark on half-heartedly.

Wishing you all the best, OP.

(PS: obligatory reminder that adoption is a system for finding families for children who need them, not for providing children to families who want them. Infertile people are not automatically in a position to be adoptive parents, and children in care are not a consolation prize. Anyone thinking of saying 'just adopt'", please don't.)

@toomanyplants

As an egg donor, this makes me sad.

As an egg recipient, you're awesome and thank you.

I think you should leave.
I dont think its right to force you into having donated eggs.

I also dont think its right for you to force him into using a double donor just to "get equal". This a child you are talking about, these things have real consequences. You cant use a sperm donor to punish your partner or because you feel its unfair

Your clinic should be offering counselling and lots of this will need to be talked through. Say you had a child, how would you talk to them about the donation process? How would you make them feel about not being biologically related? Creating a child in these circumstances is incredibly unfair as they will pick up on your feelings about their heritage

Get away from this relationship now. Don't bring a child anywhere near that man or this situation.

I found myself questioning if this is a real post or not.
It just seems mad that you would be considering having a baby in a way you dont want. With a man like that. Come on...

Leave.

Well said @Persipan

@Notimeforaname me too but I decided to post anyway.