AUBU? (For parents of school age children in particular)

[saraclara]

This article in the Guardian today made me think about that poster who threatened a headteacher with their solicitor if teachers asked their son to wear a mask.
And it's clearly not just parents who are putting ridiculous expectations on school leaders.

Diary of a Headteacher's Week
www.theguardian.com/education/2020/sep/26/our-first-case-of-covid-parents-are-hounding-me-staff-are-afraid-diary-of-a-headteachers-week

I can believe this

This is so sad, I can well believe it too.

I wouldn't be surprised to see a mass exodus of headteachers over this. Their working conditions and the expectations put on them over lockdown have been unbearable.

The government, in particular, have been terrible with their not releasing guidance till the very last minute, releasing millions of updates with changes not tracked, AND shaming schools and school leaders in the media for wanting better safety measures and for not doing the right things in the absence of any guidance from the DfE.

I read this earlier and thought of our headteacher.

I'm one who thinks schools aren't doing enough - but not berating the head as it's not their fault, the guidance is shiiiit!

I'm so sad and frustrated about the schools + testing fiasco...

Yes, I find it credible.
I had no aspiration to go beyond classroom teacher, and I continue to do youth groups, and there is inevitably a core of opposing parents that can never be simultaneously pleased.

As a parent, I try to be avaliable, supportive and mostly let the school do their job. One DS has SNs and I try to keep those related communications professional, objective and realistic.
When DS was criticised by a supply teacher for his poor writing and made to rewrite it (he is very dyslexic and dyspraxic and his writing is slow, painful and barely legible) I raised it as a polite "did she have access to the headlines about his SNs, as it was inappropriate criticism" not a "how dare she make my Johnnie rewrite his work". That's despite having seen her in action while I volunteer in school knowing that her standards are very unrealistic for SEN students to meet. I say that as a former supply teacher who knows the difficulties and realities of that position.

Headteachers and teachers are human, not angels, and the vast majority do the best they can with what they have.

Aside from Covid, the sector needs reforming to strip it back to focusing on the core of teaching and learning with trust.

The thing that stands out to me from the article is the part where the Headteacher gets to teach. It revitalises them.
I love it when I’m with my students, I love teaching them. It’s all the other stuff that drives me up the wall.
Teachers are there to teach, not just academic stuff, beyond the curriculum. But we’re not punching bags or the cause of all a child’s problems.
Yes, there are some bad apples, but mostly it’s a systemic failure that leads to children being unhappy in schools - not individual staff members.
Have a look at Zimbardo’s Psychology of Evil; the principle can be applied to most institutions.
School’s have become places children can be deeply unhappy, parents, rightly, want to protect their children. And so we enter this battle of wills and expectations.
The system needs to change.

That blog is heartbreakingly accurate.

Whilst I professionally disagree with my head on many things, I thi think he has done a fantastic job over lockdown and beyond. I feel as safe as I can be. He gets phonecalls at all hours from PHE, DfE, AMAT lead. Then he takes on our stresses and strains as well. He's knackered, we're knackered, there's so much to do and so little time.

The government have lost all respect. Even my naysaying Tory voting parents can't believe the guidance timings.

Secondary heads are being absolutely hammered. I don't think ours has had much of a break at all this year.

Feel awful for the Head. The Head in this link sounds like they have their hands full too.

www.st-margarets.bury.sch.uk/stream/news/full/1/-?fbclid=IwAR3EycHbxbYxjMlp-dx_AW_zvcltdvk1nbU7NMQaFBGowXrdWORGGp04ezM

We are in for a hard Winter, we must be more supportive to School staff, this is going to get tough.

Other than keeping ourselves as safe as we can, what can we do to help?
Genuine question. Not goady.
Dd is y4.
We avoid places as much as we can.
We wear masks and wash/sanitise as much as possible.
We dont go shouting at teachers (this one is really good with dd!)
We follow the guidelines of "take minimal stuff to school"
She wears PE kit all day on PE day.
Drop off, I walk her from the car (out of town) to the gate. Watch her go in and then leave
Collecting time, turn up at our time slot. Wait in our area. Grab and go.
To any teachers out there, could we do any more to help school?
Genuine question! I dont want to make me or my family sick. Dd has asthma. Covid would probably be awful for her .

Send in tissues, anti bac wipes and moisturising handwash for the class. We have asked our parents to do this and it has really helped.

Ok, I will ask about those.
Thanks.
Dd has tissues and wipes in her coat pocket. Doubt if she uses them very often....

@MyNameHasBeenTaken, just be empathetic and try not to sweat the small stuff, as far as the teachers are concerned.

Your child's school experience isn't going to be perfect right now. But if you (you as in any parent) see any worries or issues you might have with your child's experience through the lens of that article and what the heads and teachers are going through, it would help. With everything on their plate, is it really fair to burden them with a small thing that they probably can't do anything about at the moment? Certainly don't go in all guns blazing!

If you can help your child manage what's happening, help them understand why what they might want can't be done just yet, and keep them comforted and positive, that's probably the best you can do.

That, and be as positive, smiley and appreciative as you can be when you come across school staff. Seriously, a parent being understanding, kind and empathetic when you're stressed and you know things aren't going ideally, is SUCH a relief and a blessing. We love you for that.

Kindness and understanding go a long long way. Even not mentioning to the teacher a minor gripe would be appreciated. An email thanking the school too. You sound like a brilliant parent though who isn't causing hassle.

Our head had to read reams of Facebook posts about how terrible he was because he didn't share the year group the positive case was in. He wasn't allowed to said PHE. They sent a template letter. We've also got parents of year 7 students ringing daily "to check they're OK". Go away and stop wasting everyones time.

This isn't a direct response to the OP but as you guys are obviously parents of school aged kids can anyone explain this. Today at a local beauty spot, I saw one group of around 30 teen girls followed by another group of 12 or so. No distancing, no masks. Enquiries when chatting to their yracheru in passing found out that they were from our local grammar school. They all had rucksacks and had travelled in on 2 school buses. Isn't this wild contravening rules or do they count as some kind of bubble and thus allowed to travel and stay together en masse?

If they are a bubble in school then there is no logical need for them to distance outside of school.

Logically I do agree but technically it's against guidance I suppose as I couldn't argue my case and go out with all my work colleagues. Was nice to see them enjoying themselves though.

They can’t ask children on a school trip to social distance as this is impossible in the classroom. If it were flagged up as an issue, people might realise that the same issue would be found inside the classroom. Contravening the nice films put out by the government on breakfast TV.

We are trying our hardest, most of us love working with the kids, but we know our heads are under huge stress and that we are all just waiting for the first case. It’s not fun.

Wow, that's hard but a very ordinary day for our team leader where we are, and that is exactly why they are paid the BIG Bucks.

My goodness if I could write what my area has been through this past week!
I don't think that's a very good illustration at all of what it's like on the front line and she doesn't even engage with worried parents?

She's in a top managerial position and being paid a 🥠 for it along with a large pension

she doesn't even engage with worried parents?

No. She doesn't engage with the unreasonably angry who she won't be able to reason with, never mind pacify. They would take up a huge proportion of her time (already at a premium) so she sends them a formulaic response.

Our secondary head of dd school has been utterly dreadful. We feel very let down by the school. Crap communication, no proper support for students. My dd was waiting a week for a response to a hw question to work put on line in a pp. Instead we got pics of teachers making things in the school hall.

Other schools around us got on line as simply followed the curriculum and even got ahead in many cases.

Whilst my dd was left adrift.
I don't think that article does them any favours at all actually.

I'm in a setting myself and although I feel reasonably safe I know very well what people in education are actually up agaisnt.
The sly comment about the worried teacher?

Nah, soz...

I don't think that's a very good illustration at all of what it's like on the front line and she doesn't even engage with worried parents?

Do you have any idea what you're talking about? It's pretty obvious you don't work in a school.

Primary HTs are not paid big bucks. Some are on 40k, hardly earning mega money! Even secondary HTs are approx 75-80k, fuck tonne of responsibility for that reward. I wouldn't want their job for anything.

The average Head Teacher salary is apparently around £65,000 per annum so hardly BIG bucks! And primary Heads are also usually paid less than secondary as the schools are smaller!
uk.mg.bt.mail.yahoo.com/neo/launch?.partner=bt-1&.rand=cg13vprqjodnt

Heads like that make more work for for themselves. They get reputations for non communication, instead of closing problems down, in his case worried parents who may be vulnerable, lost someone to covid (she won't know because she refuses to deign to contact them) they simply leave them to simmer and fester.

Very careless. I don't think we have left any worried parent with a generic letter I've heard staff, spending ages talking through the procedures to calm worried dp, because they lost someone close to covid.

Everyone is worried and dp have a right to know what is going on, duty of care, in locus parentis, at this worrying and confusing time.

@deflationexasperation

So because one HT is crap, they all are.

You have no idea what it's like. I work in a school and I can't comprehend the pressure my HT has been under. Last minute guidance, ever changing plans, waiting for a positive case, shit from parents because you haven't set enough/you've set too much work. New timetables, changes to routines, new rules. The overload is immense.