To think life is easier for confident outgoing people

[Lardlizard]

?

Absolutely true imho

Life before covid maybe..... now the playing field is a bit more level!

This should not be a revelation to anyone in possession of more than a handful of braincells.

I think it’s more if you know how to talk to people and can feel at home in new scenarios with new people (or at least convincingly pretend to!)

I remember reading an article a while ago - wish I could find the link - which said that extroverts are the new introverts. It talked about the history of the workplace and how introverts were considered to be thoughtful intellectuals and jobs were always handed out to them. Needless to say, during today's social media and celebrity culture age, it's the total opposite. All the most successful people I know now are full of confidence, although quite frankly, total dicks with it.

Fake it til you make it I say

......and this is why it is an important skill you should nurture in your dc from a young age.
I am amazed at the number of parents on here who interfere in, and run their dcs' lives to such an extent that they don't ever encourage their dc to learn how to tackle situations they find challenging. They don't learn how to resolve differences, or to work through problems.
Confidence is something that needs to be nurtured from a young age.

Feeling anxious is a normal, natural physiological reaction for all people. Learning how to deal with that anxiety and developing strategies to get through it is massively important for us all.
I'm not talking about the small % of people who are clinically anxious, I'm talking about the considerable % of people on MN who say they can't do X or y because they have anxiety, when a lot of it translates as 'it makes me feel uncomfortable' or 'I don't like doing that'. It really undermines people who actually have real, clinical anxiety conditions, which is a terrible thing to have to live with.

wasn't there a thread about this a few weeks ago?

Confidence can be learned, it isn't a set personality trait. You can be a confident introvert or extrovert by the way - lots of people seem to associate being introverted with shyness and a lack of confidence. Like any skill, confidence takes a conscious effort to develop but it can be developed at any point in life.

Yes

I don't know, look at Caroline Flack.

She seemed like the most confident, out going happy person. With loads of friends and a dream carer in tv. No one could have guessed the suffering she was going through behind closed doors.

We all have out crosses to bear.

Easier than... what... Easier in what way or when?

And does it matter if the confidence is sincere (Robin Williams) or just faked (Carrie Fischer)?

I agree that being outgoing is a personality trait that is seen as desirable in Britain, so much so that if you are not naturally like this, your self-esteem might be affected.
I have also seen outgoing people behave very poorly towards introverts, almost bullyingly, because they consider them 'boring' or 'uncool'. I have seen this from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood. This, I think, makes life more difficult for less outgoing people.

Confidence though is another issue entirely. I think you can be confident and introvert and yes I think life is much easier for confident people.

... life is a continuous play, you can take up whichever role you need in order to survive! The only skill required is the ability to be convincing.

It definitely helps. Im an introvert & was very quiet, but learnt to fake it at work. Contracting knocked more shyness out of me but I still feel anxious in large social groups that aren't work related. Social skills & emotional intelligence go a long way .

Exactly what @sevencontinents said

I'm introverted but quietly confident. I think life is immeasurably easier for me than many outgoing friends of mine. Of course there are plenty of outgoing confident people but IME extroversion is often used as a shield. I have a friend who appears super confident. She's outgoing, sociable and lots of fun. However it's all a facade. The real person underneath is plagued with self-doubt and surrounds herself with people as she can't bear to be on her own.

It has absolutely helped me, no doubt.
It makes it easier to move, to try new jobs, make new friends and really enjoy the good long friendships too.

I think you are absolutely right, both in careers and personal lives

I think @CSIblonde is right, the combination of a certain amount of confidence (not necessarily really extroverted, but able to chat to other people) PLUS emotional intelligence, makes life easier.

I know people who are confident, but they seem oblivious to other peoples' emotions, e.g. someone is clearly tired but they outstay their welcome; they try to get different groups of people to bond when they obviously have nothing in common, etc.!

Yes but it’s not all nature. Some people just like to moan and make it all about them, then wonder why they’re single!

I'm confident I wouldn't say outgoing but I'd start a convo with anyone my life must be easier than my sister who has severe anxiety and cannot speak to people she doesn't know.

Your poor sister, that’s awful.☹️