Friend always cancelling on me

[Magicra84]

I have a best friend. We talk everyday and are close. We get on fab and when we go out we have a ball. I have arranged a number of times to go out, just for a quick coffee and catch up and he cancels on me regularly. I'm getting pissed off at him now. It feels very one sided. I really look forward to our catch ups as we don't see each other for a few months due to life getting in the way and feel really deflated when he cancels. It's always last minute too that he cancels.

What reasons does he give for cancelling?

Have you spoken to him about it? ‘Recently every time we’ve agreed to meet up you’ve cancelled - is there something going on?’. He’s your best friend so you should be able to feel comfortable talking to him about things like this.

Stop making plans with him. Wait for him to do it. If he complains that you haven’t wanted to see him, you can legitimately say ‘Well you kept cancelling, so I thought I’d wait until you were more ready’.

He always makes the plans. Then cancels. I suffer from depression too and when he cancels it makes my depression worse.

In that case, I’d say no the next couple of times he invites you out. If he asks why, be honest - you’re sick of being let down at the last minute.

Have you ever told him to stop being a jackass

It could be his depression that makes him cancel but you'd think he learns not to plan anything until the last minute when he's feeling well.

With my depression I never know how Im going to feel so I plan as if I am fine, but know that sometimes on the day I will not be able to do it. Maybe he's like that.

I had an ex work colleague who used to arrange to meet up with me a number of times but then either not turn up or would cancel. we would text and/or email when making arrangements. I realised after a while that he was having an affair with someone and our texts/emails were there as his alibi when he was really off to meet the woman he was having the affair with. Bastard.

Had this happen with a friend. She instigated most of the meet-ups and forgot/double booked on the day and I often turned up/about to leave to meet, she always acted dead certain on confirmation and said looking forward to it. 9 times over 2 months was the worst, meant I lost out on other friends who asked about meeting up that day (too late to rearrange and kinda ruined a New Years for me one year). Brought it up and really kind and asked if everything ok, but just ignored completely. I virtually stopped agreeing to all the meet-ups in the end (99% guarantee rate they would not happen). I’ve been polite and messaged generally, even suggested a meet up on a few weeknights (so the inevitable cancelling would affect me less). Friend a Queen Bee type and removed me from all Groups as my ‘punishment’. I’ve continued to be polite and chat occasionally, but she wants me to know I’ve been dropped and is finding new ways to be spiteful now. Sometimes things change, best to protect yourself and move away from them having the power over you to do this all the time.