To have a 3rd child?

[LavaMonster]

I’m 32. I have two children aged 7 and 4. Youngest has just started school and I have a job after 7 years of being a SAHM.

DH & I aren’t home owners but have a decent amount saved for a deposit and this will become easier now that I am earning again.

I had my youngest when I was 27 and I do sort of like the idea of them reaching adulthood by the time I’m mid 40’s but at the same time, I just love motherhood and feel like another child would bring us lots of joy.

Ideally we’d get ourselves on the property ladder before such times as having a 3rd but by that point I’d be mid 30’s realistically and would then be early to mid 50s before the youngest would be leaving home. Also, there is the obvious expense associated with an extra child and this would give us less freedom to be able to do things like holiday abroad (which we have only done once with our existing DC due to me not earning until now).

If I think logically, I suppose sticking at 2 would work really well. But I often long for just one more.

What do you think.

YABU - stop at two
YANBU - have a third

Could you make steps to get on the housing ladder now while you are trying for a third, you’re working so that would help your mortgage chances and it could take a while to get pregnant...

I suppose it depends what your happy to live with and go without OP. Personally I wouldn’t. As travelling with my DS is really important. Getting on the property ladder is a big deal too.... at a time like this NO I wouldn’t personally.

If your happy to sacrifice go for it though.

Ds is almost 7 and dd 10months. Weve been debating a 3rd in a few years or oh having the snip.

We bought our v.small 3 bed just before dd was born. The plan is to save as much as we can until she goes to school and i can go back FT (just dropped to PT) and buy a bigger house.

If we have a 3rd, this wont be able to happen and we will be EXTREMELY tight on space, its safe to say we already are.

I dont think i want a 3rd, but its the 'what if we change our minds' thats holding us back.

Why mess up your perfect situation? Two kids is plenty, especially as our planet is suffering so terribly. Definitely quit while you're ahead OP!

If you think it will make you and your family happy, absolutely do it. Yes it may mean you go on less holidays or get on the property ladder a bit later, but the joy a brother/sister will bring to your children will likely override that - particularly as they get older.

If i had been told that were it not for my siblings, I would’ve gone on more holidays... I don’t think I would care. Family is priceless!

I have the same conversation constantly! Not sure as we aren’t at that point of needing to make a decision (the youngest is only 1)

However picture yourself 60/70, what will be your biggest regrets in life?

Two children is enough. Focus on giving them the best life possible.

I think it’s a very good question!

Ours are 7 and 4

I want another.

OH wants to be financially sound.

Bought a house 2 years ago and we had no money left over. It was paycheque to paycheque and shitting ourselves over money every month.

We’ve just about got to a point where we have a decent amount of savings to fall back on but that’s taken two years to build.

Bringing another child would put financial pressure on us. We’d be able to do it but the pressure would be noticeable.

So we might get a cat instead.

You sound like you’re in a good position where you could possibly be more relaxed with your kids if you got onto the property ladder now.

Maybe get a cat? Or a dog?

Relaxed as in giving your children a really good life where they are comfortable.