To try to fix things with a narcissist?

[Fredup12]

Posting here because I got some really helpful advice on my other thread about ignoring calls from nursery.

On the suggestion of some posters, I’ve been looking into whether my (not so)DH might be a narcissist and a lot of it fits. Never ever apologising, blaming me for everything, putting his interests first...

I think the narcissism is maybe the result of being a golden child and he’s quite damaged by his childhood. I think his outlook probably makes him unhappy too.

But what do I do now? I wish I had seen the red flags sooner, but we’ve been together a long time, married with a child.

I want to see if there is a way to make it work. AIBU to do that? Any ideas how to go about it?

@IncandescentSilver

I'll give you a laugh OP. My ex used to commission full size paintings of himself and place them about his home and his place of business. There was a giant sized one of his head in his bedroom!

Maybe make a list of all the strange, narcissistic things he says and does and use it to refer back to. One day it might be helpful to you.

Thank you for making me laugh!

And for the idea, its a good one.

They dont change. Its her way or the high way. Bloody nightmare. I never know what mood will greet me

Follow your gut OP. If you really feel you can’t take anymore, do what’s best for you and your child!

I wrote down (some of) the things that my ex said and did.
Some were so jawdroppingly 'unbelievable' that I needed a record.
When he denied / gaslighted, I could refer back to keep my head straight. It really helped. When tired once I referred to it, then froze as I thought he'd go spare. He smiled and said that 'perhaps I might write a book about him'. I think he was actually really pleased at the thought. MASSIVE ego!