Would you have known what he was expecting/done something different? Driving past a broken down car

[SarahAndQuack]

I'm slightly shaken/bemused by this so thought I'd get opinions.

I was driving down a road I know well - it's very straight and flat, 60 limit, one lane each way, but there are regular 'islands' between the lanes because buses stop every few hundred yards and people often have to cross the road on foot. So you expect to see pedestrians.

I was doing about 45 as I'd just turned onto the road, and saw a car ahead in the opposite lane had stopped and had hazard lights on. There was a small queue building up, maybe 3-4 cars. I slowed down, and two people ran across the road from my side to the other side, back to the stopped car. They didn't look very carefully, but I didn't particularly feel they were in danger - I'd dropped my speed and they had plenty of time to get across before I was anywhere near.

I got closer and a man on my side of the road started jumping up and down, yelling and waving his hands at me in a 'slow down' motion. I did, but didn't slam my brakes on as I had cars behind me. As I went past he yelled 'stupid bitch, slow down!'

Why?

Did I do something wrong? I could see in my back mirror that the car behind did stop, so both lanes were stopped. There were clearly plenty of people around to help; it wasn't like a country lane where you might try to flag someone down because you needed a hand.

I probably would have slowed right, right down as you have no idea what is actually happening ahead and you need to give yourself time to react. I wouldn’t just have assumed it was a breakdown.

Yeah, I'm wondering now if it was more than a brakedown. But I was probably going something like 25 by the time I passed the car - I only didn't slam my brakes on because I had someone behind me - so I think he really expected me to stop dead, and I just couldn't see why. I wouldn't have minded stopping, but I didn't realise that was what he was expecting me to do until I saw the bloke behind me had stopped completely.

He hadn't stepped out into the traffic and put his hand up (not that I'm sure I would want to do that either!), so it was big waving gestures from the side of the road and yelling rather than something clear.

I just don't know if he thought I should automatically stop for a care with hazards in the opposite lane.

Sounds like it could have been something more serious than a car breaking down

Ugh, breakdown, not brakedown.

I would have also slowed down as I would have expected that someone/something was in the road or someone needed help.

YY, but my point is, would you have known it was something more serious?

I'm trying to figure out if/how I should have known.

But it doesn’t sound like he asked to to stop (and I probably wouldn’t have anyway) just to slow down.

But you can’t know, that’s the point. So if in doubt, go as slow as possible as that’s far far safer for everyone.

Oh, right, so I did do the right thing and he was just cross?

I'm probably over thinking it.

@SarahAndQuack

YY, but my point is, would you have known it was something more serious?

I'm trying to figure out if/how I should have known.

I think you're overthinking it.

You came across a person in a very stressful situation and that was that.

He shouldn't have called you a stupid bitch though obviously.

No one can say you did the right thing, however it does sound like you should have slowed down more as you could see there was an issue ahead and needed to give yourself more of a reaction time.

Thanks!

Just seemed worth checking in case there's some convention I wasn't familiar with.

Cross post - nicky, I think slowing to 25 was all that was really sensible as there were people behind me, though? I'd slowed from about 45 to about 25, which is quite a drop, and to have done more would really have been an emergency stop, I think.

So he expected you to just stop, possibly causing an accident. Although he didn't say stop, just slow down.
Sounds like he was being a prick. You had slowed down, presumably you could see the road was clear and there were other people round to help.
Just forget about it. I'm sure you'd have noticed if it was really serious.

But the people behind you will slow down too. My point is, you don’t know what was happening so it’s sensible to slow down as much as possible. There could have been a dog loose, or a person running about drunk or injured and you need to give yourself that time to react.

And you won’t do an emergency stop by dropping your speed more.

I would have slowed down as quickly and safely as possible and put my hazards on. My first thought would have been dog loose in the road, or an injured deer etc that might recover enough to jump up and cross my lane. But I’m going off previous experience in my area and he was wrong to call you a bitch, whatever was happening.

Last time I came across a situation like this it was because a loose dog was running down a 60mph road and zigzagging across it, obviously scared, and they’d stopped to try to catch it. I did stop, because I had seen the dog, and therefore knew it was necessary. But if I hadn’t seen the dog? They could have stopped to pick blackberries for all I knew.

But I’d still slow right down to a crawl in case there’s an unseen hazard, not least because there’s usually some tit coming the other way who decides it’s their right of way even though the carriageway is blocked, and I’d rather not have to deal with an insurance claim or worse, than stand on the principle of my right of way.

That's a good point, @Saucery, I should have thought to put hazards on.

I really hope it wasn't a dog loose or similar, but YY, could have been.

His language was unacceptable regardless. I doubt he would have said anything quite so aggressive to a man

I wouldn't worry OP, a few years ago we had a problem with our car and needed help as we were outside a mobile phone reception zone, and I tried to flag cars down - it must have been at least 10 minutes before anyone stopped! Everyone was just going by and beeping in annoyance. Eventually someone stopped and helped us.

Last time I saw something similar to this there had been a collision and the person had their hazard lights on because of a cyclist lying in the road. The point is I didn't know that until I was right on the scene - the unconscious cyclist was hidden to oncoming traffic until the last moment.

As a rule, if hazard lights are on I assume there is a hazard I might not be aware of - that's kind of the point of them.

Perhaps it was rude to call you a stupid bitch but if there was more to the incident than you are aware of he might have felt it necessary, that you were oblivious to a danger.

I'd have gone back and asked why he called you "a stupid bitch". He wouldn't have said that to a bloke. "Slow down" was enough.

45 to 25 is a pretty big drop in speed and of course you can't just come to a dead stop when there are cars behind you. In that situation I would slow down as much as I could as safely as I could without contributing to the problem.

And I wouldn't ever stop my car and get out to help as a lone woman - for which you can blame the patriarchy that makes it ok for a man to call someone a stupid bitch.

Thanks all.

Sounds as if I am overthinking it and it's probably just something I either couldn't see from where I was, or he was stressed, or both.

There were loads of people around to help (pedestrians, people at the roadside cafe, etc. etc.), so I won't feel too guilty for not stopping on that count.

Don't feel guilty for not stopping! Society can't have it both ways - woman can't be both bitches and also super-helpful kind lovely people, can they?