To be having a breakdown about chemicals while pregnant

[EdininiaMonsoon]

I'm nearly 38 weeks pregnant and in the last few weeks I've had some serious bouts of anxiety about coming into contact with harmful chemicals and how this could impact the baby.

It started with a freak out about accidentally touching the cats' flea treatment, then about having cleaners in who used a harsh chemical oven cleaner. Then yesterday, my husband was laying new engineered wood flooring in the hallway and I realised he was using solvent-based adhesive instead of the more commonly used solvent-free stuff. It stunk the whole house out for a few hours, and I've had all the doors and windows open today despite the cold and rain. I'm now obsessed with the idea that the solvents are going to be in the air for weeks and are going to have a serious impact on my baby. In reality, I know that they probably evaporate quite quickly and are unlikely to do any real damage, and now the adhesive has been used there's very little we can do about it. Also, it's probably no worse than the chemicals that come from having a new carpet fitted, which many people do right before having a baby.

Despite this, I just can't stop worrying about it; I feel like crying all the time and have lost my appetite and interest in anything else. I've just started maternity leave and I'm supposed to be relaxing and getting myself mentally prepared for my first baby, but I feel like I'm doing the exact opposite. So what do I do? Would you try to accept that it's just one of those things and move on? Or would you be livid that your partner had potentially put your unborn child at risk by not doing the proper research? Is there some sort of remedial action I should be taking that I haven't thought of?

I have a history of anxiety and slightly obsessive and obtrusive thoughts, so I do understand I'm likely blowing this out of proportion, but I just can't seem to get past it. And I'm well aware this kind of thinking could make motherhood a tough time for me. As crazy as it looks, I really needed to get this out of my head and written down, and any advice would be massively appreciated.

YABU - but unreasonable does not mean bad or wrong. Your anxieties are stemming from a reasonable source - your need to protect your baby - but they might be getting overblown. It's not uncommon for pregnant women to have some mental health blips, so maybe you could talk to your GP or a friend and get some outside perspective?

I think you have to accept it and move on. You can't undo what has happened, and it is highly unlikely that any harm has been done. As far as I know, most toxic substances are a only problem for the baby either in the first trimester or with extended exposure. You say yourself that you think you are over-reacting, and also that there are loads of chemicals in things like newly-laid carpet which many people arrange for new nurseries when pregnant with no problems.

I'm speaking from experience, by the way, as I had two similar incidents when I was pregnant in my last trimester (fumes from an environmentally-friendly paint - I now suspect the decorator added white spirit to make it spread better - and fumes from wooden floor laying from next door which made it in to our house somehow). I got myself really worked up about it too. However, bear in mind that late pregnancy can be a stressful time in any case, your hormones are in overdrive, and you are maybe tired and not getting great sleep either.

Try to put it out of your mind and concentrate on enjoying your maternity leave. Don't beat yourself up though if you feel that you aren't getting a perfect maternity leave experience - I think there is a pressure (maybe self-imposed) about making the time perfect between finishing work and having the baby but life often gets in the way! Take some time to treat yourself, even if it is just sitting down with a book or magazine occasionally or watching a box set.

If you are having obtrusive thoughts and anxiety generally though, perhaps you could speak to your midwife for advice.

All the best with your new baby when he/she arrives! The worry won't stop then because that is part of parenthood but you will have a gorgeous wee newborn to snuggle and that will be lovely.

OP I think you should report your thread to MNHQ and get it moved to mental health it pregnancy topic.

You sound like you have anxiety. I developed anxiety for the first time during pregnancy. It was severe. I was very irrational.

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Or would you be livid that your partner had potentially put your unborn child at risk by not doing the proper research? Is there some sort of remedial action I should be taking that I haven't thought of?

I have a history of anxiety and slightly obsessive and obtrusive thoughts, so I do understand I'm likely blowing this out of proportion, but I just can't seem to get past it. '

Yes you are. No you haven't done anything wrong. Everything is fine. You are not a bad mother or partner. You are having intrusive irrational thoughts.

Please get this thread moved and talk to your midwife etc.

I recognise this sort of feeling and put off help for years.

Everything is fine, but please talk to someone asap.

I agree with PP - have a chat with your midwife tomorrow and she should put your mind at ease. Sounds like you've done everything to mitigate against any risks. It's an anxious time but speak to your midwife so they can keep an eye on you and offer support.

You're worry is partially reasonable but also misplaced, so try to relax if you can. With any toxin exposure there is acute risk and chronic risk. So drinking bleach would be acute exposure and chronic would be using it every day for years and years. Unless you have been drinking/smearing stuff about with your hands then you have only had the tiniest exposure and so the risk only becomes a problem if you continue to do that for years. Not sure if that explains it, not the best time of day for thinking!

Talk to someone in real life, it's ok to be cautious but you don't want that thinking to take over.

You need to speak to your G.P and midwife too, you want to be able to enjoy your pregnancy and your baby, not worrying about things constantly.

I know it comes from a place of irrational anxiety, but please try to reassure yourself that your baby will not be harmed by these normal household events.

Your body/liver filters out chemicals from your bloodstream, so even if you ingest/inhale things, it is not a given that your baby will be exposed too. Baby might have smaller dose or nothing, depending on how much is in your system - which you have minimised through airing etc.

Then even if baby is exposed to some small amount of chemical, they are a fully formed baby now, all the organs, limbs and other things are "done". Chemicals in early pregnancy are more worrysome, as small damage to baby can lead to organs not forming/functioning properly. You are past this risk phase.

In all reality, you are better off being exposed whilst heavily pregnant than after baby is born and their smaller body is exposed directly to chemicals.

Speak to someone about this, as you don't want anxiety driving your life, stopping you enjoying things that pose very low risks to your family.

Speak to your midwife tomorrow. This is just your anxiety - you didn't get solvent over your skin or ingest it, it's fumes and the house was well ventilated

I wouldn't use nail varnish or hair dye when pregnant so feel your anxiety pain

Big deep breath (outside air 😉) chat time your midwife then relax

Thank you for all the reassurance, both from a mental health and scientific perspective (my knowledge of chemistry and biology is sorely lacking). I really needed someone to help me put it into perspective, and I'm so glad no one said I should move out immediately or rip up all of the flooring!

I feel slightly better today and will try to move my focus onto other things and do things that relax me as well. A lot of this anxiety is probably coming from pregnancy hormones and worries about having my first child, but it's finding an outlet wherever it can (clearly in the most irrational things). It doesn't help that I spent much of yesterday Googling the solvents and their impact; I know from experience that 99.9% of the time Googling a health concern is not reassuring!

I will mention it to my midwife when I see her in a few days if I'm still concerned about it. I'm a bit reluctant to ask the NHS for help with mental health as I have tried to self-refer to counselling before and a year and a half later I still can't get someone to tell me if I'll ever get an appointment. However, I do know there are mental health resources for pregnant women and new mothers, so I'll definitely pursue that if my issues continue.

Please talk to your midwife anyway.

They take MH issues in pregnancy extremely seriously as there is a baby that you will need to care for on the way.

Please don't wait to see if it gets bad again. Talk to them asap.

I felt the exact same at the start of my pregnancy and got really upset about little things. I spent far too long reading research online and convincing myself I would cause DS to have a cleft palate, heart defect or something similar.
Working in a vet clinic, I was constantly exposed to flea treatments, anaesthetic, xrays etc (albeit in a controlled manner) so was extra paranoid.
It should reasure you that by far the highest risk is during the first trimester when the foetus is still developing and forming. After this, it is fully formed and growing so (I believe) the risk of chemical exposure is FAR lower.
I think it is natural to worry but important to be sensible and not let it consume you. By all means, keep windows open to ventilate and steer clear of chemicals as much as possible, but try not to obsess over it.
My DS was born without any issues and I wish you a healthy pregnancy; all will be fine :)

You really do need to speak to your midwife. Anxiety and a newborn is not a good combination.

@NiceGerbil

Please talk to your midwife anyway.

They take MH issues in pregnancy extremely seriously as there is a baby that you will need to care for on the way.

Please don't wait to see if it gets bad again. Talk to them asap.

This. As someone who has struggled with anxiety and intrusive thoughts too. Particularly after the birth of my first child, it is partially hormones, but if you're predisposed to it anyway, it's no surprise that at such an important time you're having off days.

Absolutely contact your MW if you're having a wobble. There will be a perinatal mental health team if you need further support too. I've been there, it does get better but please accept the help if you need it. I had never been so happy when I had my DS, but also so, so incredibly and specifically anxious, the two aren't mutually exclusive.

Thanks for the encouragement. I tend to act like everything's fine when I see the midwife, maybe out of embarrassment, but I will speak to her about it at my next appointment and see what help I can get.

Please speak to your midwife/GP and get some support for your anxiety.

Please speak to your midwife. My friend got much better support with her mental health following the birth of her twins than I got through the normal channels at the same time.
What I am trying to say is don’t let the fact that you haven’t heard anything previously put you off asking now. There is help available.

I came across your thread as in very similar boat, 35 weeks pregnant, kitchen and bedroom given a chemical bath of solvent based paint, similar to you I have Googled the different chemicals and now completely terrified myself I've damaged baba. Haven't slept in house in two weeks, great fun at 37 weeks, as haven't actually slept at all to be honest. Did everything turn out OK?