Mil - do I need to give my head a wobble?

[LampGenie]

I should prefix this with yes, of course people suffer badly from Covid and the deaths speak for themselves.

My MIL is on her own, we call her a lot because of this and I always make an effort to speak to her myself and not just leave it to DH.

Over the last few weeks MIL has got more insular, regularly announcing that the Govt needs to understand that the economy doesn’t matter as much as the right for people like her to hide away so she doesn’t die (she is mid 70’s but no health issues). She knows I disagree a bit, and feel that yes people should do what they feel comfortable with but that the world can’t stop as this fight is a bit like catching wind, that it’s unsustainable and people can’t whinge if services can’t be paid for because our economy tanks if they just insist on this insular view to the exclusion of anything else. (I also say this having a DM in an absolute at risk group who would get very sick if she got it but wants to live life as much as she can being as safe as she can so I am not just seeing this from an economic view).

Anyway MIL insists on pushing her view down my throat and no matter what I do to move it on, it always comes back to how it’s just selfish it is to not feel that an endless bail out is the way forward. I should also say tho, I view her attitude towards anything economic quite baffling - If her pension tanked because of this she would be the first to whinge and in her world what’s hers is hers, and what’s yours should be hers so I am aware that I may have a bias when it comes to economic arguments.

Anyway, to my AIBU: tonight MIL decides to announce that long term Covid is worse than the after effect of cancer so really that’s why the Government needs to carry on propping everything up with no end and that anything else is just unfeeling. I have had cancer. Was in hospital for almost 6 months having no immune system between treatments and almost ended up with my treatment derailed because the chemo effected me so badly. However, somehow that could not be as bad as long term covid.

So, is she just picking a fight now and upping the stakes of what’s reasonable or am I letting my own bias rule my attitude to this?

Is it me? Or is that just

Just stop ringing her.

She wants to fight and eventually she'll get one and you'll all regret it.

Just stop ringing her.

She wants to fight and eventually she'll get one and you'll all regret it.

I can see how it's frustrating, but it sounds like she's afraid and worried.

I don't think it's helpful to compare different diseases. Some people are really struggling with long term Covid. I have even heard of a man who committed suicide after months of illness, because he felt he couldn't cope, and he didn't think he was being listened to. I don't want to say it's necessarily better or worse than chemo because I expect it varies a lot between people, but it is a valid worry.

I would just nod and smile and try to reassure your Mil and definitely avoid getting into any debates or arguments.

I don't agree with a PP that you should stop ringing her. Unless there are other issues, it seems quite cruel to cut her off socially when she probably needs contact more than ever now.

Stop speaking to her about it. There's nothing to stop her hiding away anyway if she wants to. No one is actually forcing her to participate in the economy.

This is my point tho - she refuses to let go. Even when I said to her that I really felt that we should leave this now considering I had had cancer and been so ill, she basically talked over me.

Sounds like she has been thinking about and discussing little else - I find people that age can fixate a bit - not sure what the answer is but maybe a ban on covid talk? If she is barricaded indoors with nothing but the news it’s kind of intense - you can’t blame her for thinking the end is nigh- although the comparison wasn’t on- I’m kinda less able to get mad at someone that age... good luck is all

I would call less, and let it tail off. Let dh call her. If she asks why you are not calling I would however be truthful. At the moment she is behaving badly, perhaps through fear, but if there are no consequences she will keep going- which she shown by the fact she won’t back down/is being more spiteful in her comments.