To only cook one meal?

[MrsFML]

I'm trying to cut down on costs and food wastage by planning meals and shopping accordingly. So for example a roast chicken dinner with all the bits for me, DP, and 2 x DC, 9 & 13. They've eaten it many times before so I know they like it, but have tonight refused. DP strolls in and says let them have whatever they want, don't make them eat something they don't want. He then makes them super noodles and garlic bread and now they're happy, he's mr amazing and the bloody chicken is just sat there. Fuming!! Me that is, not the chicken!

YANBU... to expect to cook just one meal, you know they have eaten before, for the family to share, be it a roast, pasta or whatever..?

YABU... Let them eat cake rather than something they don't want..?

I think if someone makes dinner for you then you should eat it. But I also think they're at an age where they can show preference and have a say in what they eat to an extent.

Gosh - had you actually cooked the chicken when they refused it? That would drive me mad if so.....

@Nottherealslimshady

I think if someone makes dinner for you then you should eat it. But I also think they're at an age where they can show preference and have a say in what they eat to an extent.

I don't disagree with you, and encourage them to make their own decisions, but it's not like I made them liver and onions! 🤦🏻‍♂️

You don't have a dinner problem, you have a husband problem!!

One meal only - this was the rule in my house. The children were allowed to select the quantity of food they chose to have; but the content of the meal was not up for discussion. I did of course make sure they I did not cook things I knew they hated. Whatever they put on their plates I expected them to eat.

You and your OH need to get on the same page with this; unless of course he is prepared to be the one who cooks the second meal all the time. Take him on one side later and have a talk about it. You should be backing each other up in front of the children over all things, not just food. Disagree out of earshot; and if needs be move the goalposts a bit where necessary.

I cannot bear food going to waste - it is a bit of an obsession of mine so I share your anguish over the chicken - but it will make a good meal of some sort tomorrow; and maybe soup the next day.

He can be in charge of meal planning, shopping and cooking. Put your feet up and enjoy!

I think you need to sit down and tell your husband that

1. the person that cooks decides the meal - not up for discussion!
2. that he is welcome to cook any meal he wants as long as he lets you know before and it's for everyone
3. DC need to learn that sometimes they just have to eat what is dished up!

YANBU. Your DH massively undermines you there.

As he’s mr cook why not let him cook for them all the time.

You'd cooked it? Jesus Christ, how dare he undermine you like that?

YADNBU you made a meal you knew they liked which was nutritious and DH was unsupportive . You need to discuss this away from prying ears and get it sorted .

I only ever cook one meal, and sometimes there are bits that someone doesn't like - you can't get what you like all the time to the detriment of the rest of the family.

I don't mind the odd tweak - for e.g. Dd always has frozen sprouts instead of frozen peas, other Dd always picks out the mushrooms and leaves them on the side of her plate.

I don't like kidney beans, but put up with them in chilli because everyone else does like them.

I wouldn't expect anyone to refuse a meal unless they were ill.

Do you sit as a family and draw up a menu for the week? I found doing this meant they were less likely to refuse. We also sometimes agree to swap days around if say tonight is meal x but we all feel like tomorrow’s meal y instead.

YANBU.

Occasionally eating something even if it's not exactly what you want at the moment is part of life. Sometime I end up cooking something I don't even particularly want myself, because that's what we have available and/or it will go bad if it's not used soon.

@KarenW

You don't have a dinner problem, you have a husband problem!!

Yes this!

I would quietly go on strike for a few days and see what happens - if kids want fed their father can feed them. I'd combine this by only buying healthy stuff (do you do the food shop?) so that the option he has for these meals he'll be making are healthy ones. No easy get-out for him with super noodles every night!

OP, you need this: www.amazon.co.uk/CFL-EVERYDAY-FAMILY-CHOICES-DINNER/dp/B072HPYV3M?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Totally YANBU

Meh. Stick it in the fridge for sandwiches, freeze what’s left after that.

Sometimes you just don’t fancy a certain meal. We make a meal plan every week which we all contribute to. Sometime we just don’t fancy what’s on the planner. Is it really so hard to ask them before you start cooking if they fancy roast chicken or not?

Before Covid I was last home and sometimes, I just didn’t fancy what was cooked, I wasn’t so hungry, so the meal went in the fridge or the freezer, and I had beans on toast instead. Nothing was wasted, and nobody was forced to eat food they didn’t want.

YANBU. Your DP shouldn’t be encouraging your DC not to eat things on the meal plan that you know they like. It’s wasteful and you spent time and effort cooking it. I would talk to him about this away from the DC and say how you feel.

we have one meal sometimes the one child wants to just eat the rice the other the meat so I make them swap plates its frustrating

I was raised with two choices. Eat it or go without and I'm not in the least bit fussy as a result. With my DS he always had some say in what was made but he was always a good eater and ate virtually everything. Everyone has a couple of things they don't like and that's fine. But you made a big dinner and they should eat it. If your DH is so easy going he can make a variety of different meals for the same day. Let's see how he gets on with it ...

Id be fuming too! I probably would have told them its chicken today and for tomorrow they can pick the meal as a compromise.
But if your DH goes against you like that, theres not a lot you can do.
You should have a chat with him in order to avoid this in the future. Tell him youre more than happy to consider their wishes for meals, but of something is cooked and ready, then thats what everyone eats.

I'd have boxed up individual portions in take away boxes for the freezer: gravy and all. Then tomorrow cook something that you and DH love that the dc aren't so keen on. The are both old enough to microwave up a chicken dinner if they are hungry.

from here on in just cook one meal: yours. Let the others fend for themselves

Growing up, we were always given 2 choices.

1. Like it

2. Lump it.

If we were good during the week, my sibling and I might get some input on what Thursday & Friday's dinner would be.

Saturday's was usually something nice

Sunday was a delicious roast with all the trimmings.

Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday would be a bit of a lucky dip - Could be some vile stew-type construction that her grandmother's grandmother used to cook. or some random experiment from a recipe cut out of Woman's Weekly!

No pudding until it's all gone.

And if we were naughty, there'd be a high chance that Thursday or Friday's choices would be forfeited in favour of something from the Mon-Wed selection!

“This is the food on offer. There are two options. Neither involves cooking something else.”