It's a wedding one...please advise?

[notacake]

NC as not my usual topic.

Me and DF(iancee) have been together 9 years, engaged for 6, 2 young DCs (5 and under), a bit of a complicated family dynamic and some financial issues meant we've been putting off our wedding for quite a while due to a bit of uncertainty about the best way to go about it.

I'm originally from another EU country, my DGPs and all of my other extended family live back there, my DP(arents) and sister live here. DF and my DPs are NC and have been for a couple of years now mainly due to their fault and also my father being a functioning alcoholic. One pair of DGPs understand this, the other seem to want to run for the hills and bury their heads in the sand because in their view family stick together no matter what and need to pose a united front to the outside world.

Our original plan before things went south was to get married in my home country and have a big wedding as is quite traditional in my family (not a religious or cultural thing), then we were worried about the tensions between family as above and also the cost was no longer affordable for us.
We've basically been going back and forth about it all and not getting anywhere with it.

DF said to me yesterday we should take advantage of the new covid restrictions and just get married in a couple of months with only our immediate family present: his DPs, his two siblings and their partners and kids, my DPs and my sister and us with our DCs. That would basically constitute 15 people.

He said if I say yes he will make it happen. He's been following me around the house since yesterday asking me to marry him

My immediate thought went to my DGPs who I'm v close to and would love them to be there on my big day. Also in my country its customary to invite godparents. We discussed it as in my home country you are allowed 40 people and there currently is no self quarantine requirement when you enter or come back from there as they are managing very well with very low cases.
He doesn't mind trying to do it there but I'm also concerned about asking his family to travel abroad under the current circumstances and I'm aware things could change week to week.
DP also suggested maybe live streaming the ceremony to my DGPs, it's not impossible.

Could I please ask for some outside unbiased opinions on the above ideas?
Would you travel under the current circumstances to attend a wedding abroad?
I'm finding it all a bit confusing and worried about the potential awkwardness of having only 15 people who are all very aware of the situation between families in close quarters for hours.

[quote notacake]@Kiki275 it's a great idea but realistically we know it would never happen. Stuff like this isn't a "thing" in my home country neither are blessings after the actual wedding/marriage takes place, people don't really get it so it wouldn't be met with much enthusiasm. [/quote]
Would anyone back home know if you kept it off social media. Have your small wedding here and let them think the party over there is your first?x

I don't think it's reasonable to ask people to travel abroad at the moment personally. I also think even if you make clear you accept they might not come it puts people in a really awkward position.
Our wedding was meant to be in August and postponed to June next year and after the recent announcement we're considering just canning the whole thing and popping down the registry office. No-one knows when bigger weddings will be allowed to take place again so if I were you I would just crack on and do something small if it also has the advantage of reducing the problem of family politics

Your partner has the right idea. Go for it.

Just get married. You talk about tradition, but tradition would have had you marry before you built an entire life together.

And don’t ask people to travel engage in any significant travel now or anytime in the next couple of years.

We did consider eloping at one point but I know DPs lovely mum would love nothing more than to be there on his wedding day and we'd love for her to be there too.

I hear PPs who have mentioned we've been together for so long with 2 DCs and everything and it's definitely not the big deal it would've been when we first got engaged pre DCs. It's also a reason why we'd feel guilty spending silly amounts on a wedding when we could put it into their savings or towards something more practical instead.

A part of me would be very sad not to have my DGPs there though..