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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The Untidy Tax

13 replies

unCliche · 24/09/2020 12:46

I'm sure you're expecting this to be about a really messy child, which is understandable, because children are inherently messy, but alas, the child I write about is my DH.

Upon his departure for holiday yesterday, I was left with a heaping mound of housework that has frustrated me to the point of implementing an untidy tax today. Coffee mugs left around the house, uneaten food casually sat on the dining table, food wrappers strewn across the floor, wine glasses chilling where they were left, used coffee pods about 1 meter shy of the bin.

Needless to say, I'm not anyone's housekeeper and the basic etiquette I'd expect from a young child has clearly been lost in my DH so going forward, for every plate, cup, utensil left out, that will incur a £1 tax per item. Clothes left anywhere but the bedroom or bathroom will be £2 and basic items that should be in the bin but isn't will be £3.

He's not the only person in the history of mankind to work and look after a home. I work too, yet seem to manage it fine, so no more excuses. If he wants to be tided up after, he can pay for it. This applies to me too btw, to keep things fair. Usually I wouldn't mind doing it if he generally tidied up after himself, but he just doesn't unless prompted, so this is what we have come to.

Also, how can you go on holiday and leave the house a mess?? Wouldn't you want to come home to a tidy house??

We both have 24 hours to tidy up our mess before the tax comes into effect.

AIBU?

OP posts:
jellybaby1 · 24/09/2020 13:04

Seems fair to me Wink

SisyphusDad · 24/09/2020 13:14

I would switch round the tax for clothes and dishes. Clothes just need putting in the washing basket whereas dishes often need rinsing. More work/ Unpleasant job = higher charge.

unCliche · 24/09/2020 14:20

@SisyphusDad! You are right, I should just make them both £2 Grin

OP posts:
iklboo · 24/09/2020 14:21

I'm in!

Cocomarine · 24/09/2020 14:22

He doesn’t care about making a mess. £2? He’ll see it as a “tidy up for me charge”. Not that he’s actually going to pay you at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

ShebaShimmyShake · 24/09/2020 14:26

How will you enforce it?

Londonmummy66 · 24/09/2020 14:51

Would it better to install locks on the kitchen cupboards and fridge - if you can't put things away then you can't get them out. Also leave all picked up clothes in a dirty heap on the laundry room floor for him to wash when he gets back?

Itsabeautifuldayheyhey · 24/09/2020 14:54

I'm sure you're expecting this to be about a really messy child,
It didn't occur to me. I thought what the heck will this be about?

SisyphusDad · 24/09/2020 15:01

@unCliche,

Or you could do that Grin

unCliche · 24/09/2020 15:15

Maybe I have been too lenient and should be charging £10, £20, £30 instead. Enforcing it is another question, but I trust him to pay up. He's agreed to the tax so let's hope it's enough of a deterrent. I reckon one meal will cost him about £8 if we consider a £2 tax for plates, knife, fork and glass. That's quite a bit of money multiplied by maybe x2 meals (lunch and dinner).

I wish a heap of dirty clothes would work but I generally do all our washing. Only thing I don't wash is dirty clothes that aren't in the basket. If it's left on the bedroom floor, it's staying there.

OP posts:
Lemonylemony · 24/09/2020 15:21

Sorry I think YABU, you’re his partner not his mother. Clearly you have different approaches and levels of tolerance to mess but attempting to parent him out of it is not a healthy relationship.

I thought that an Untidy Tax would be what you lose due to your own untidiness.....the cost of replacing ‘lost’ items etc Smile

unCliche · 24/09/2020 15:31

Mess is to be expected in any home but will you ever stand up from the dining table and leave your dirty plate there? Or will you eat a packet of crisps and leave the empty packet lying on the floor? I just think it's basic manners. I'm not here to mother him - a mother will sort it out for free and then confiscate his favourite toy.
He's a grown man, he pays for a cleaner for the house if I ask him to clean up (the cleaners aren't mothering him), and that's fair enough. But if I don't want to see piles of dirty plates on my table and he doesn't remove it, best believe I too am getting paid to help him out. I'm definitely not trying to train him but at the same time I'm not responsible for him, so he needs to run me my money Grin

OP posts:
SilenceOfThePrams · 24/09/2020 15:40

Ah see now I was thinking this was going to be about how being untidy costs money. Damaged stuff needing replaced. Cheques lost until they go out of date. Mouldy food.

Can’t get behind finding someone, no. And not sure it’ll help - they’ll just get into the habit of paying you to do it as if you’re a servant.

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