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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask my client not to contact me on my personal social media platforms?

26 replies

Maria53 · 23/09/2020 23:31

I have a client who has requested to follow several of my colleagues and they have accepted. Even my bosses have added me on social media and it's all very blurry.

Anyway we have a fairly good relationship and this client requested to follow me on instagram and I declined the request as that is my personal life. Tonight the client has sent me a whole load of photos and messages via direct message, in the same way he would our usual email correspondence.

AIBU to ask him to stop? I guess he does this because instagram is quicker than an email but I switch off from work completely in the evenings.

OP posts:
Maria53 · 23/09/2020 23:32

It is also the fact he has done that knowing full well I have not accepted his follow request.

OP posts:
Frappuccinofan · 23/09/2020 23:37

Just respond asking him to contact regarding the work via email only

Most people don’t deal with clients on their personal social media, that’s completely reasonable

IfOnlyOurEyesSawSouls · 23/09/2020 23:37

Block him ?
Iv blocked all my colleagues so they cant friend request Blush

maybemu · 23/09/2020 23:38

Set up a work account? Do you run a business? It depends what you do but my hairdresser has a work account on all socials and doesn't mind me dropping her a message on there. She only looks at it in work time.

TeeniefaeTroon · 23/09/2020 23:39

Block him on messages too and let him know you only respond to work messages on your work email address.
I get messages on my Facebook messenger from people looking to view properties I'm selling at work, however, these are my friends on Facebook anyway.

Maria53 · 23/09/2020 23:43

I work for an agency. I think it is totally reasonable to request he does not contact me outside work hours. He has my personal number and I dont mind a text or call during the day.

He is a bit over familiar. He actually asked for a hug rather than a handshake last time I saw him. Boundary issues.

OP posts:
Maria53 · 23/09/2020 23:44

I also think if you choose to reject a person's follow request it is bizarre that they can still follow you!

OP posts:
Maria53 · 23/09/2020 23:45

Message you* even. Tired!

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Sparklesocks · 23/09/2020 23:50

I would just say something casual yet matter of fact like ‘I noticed you sent me a follow request on Facebook/Instagram/whatever - just to let you know I only use those channels for family and close friends so it’s best we stick to email for contact’. I think if you’re breezy about it then it’s not a big deal, but it’s also clear where the boundary is.

Maria53 · 23/09/2020 23:56

It isn't personal, it is purely because I need that line between work and personal. It's important to me.

I used to have a boss email us all hours of the day and night and I'm not going back to feeling 'on' all the time. No way.

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Palavah · 24/09/2020 00:44

@Sparklesocks

I would just say something casual yet matter of fact like ‘I noticed you sent me a follow request on Facebook/Instagram/whatever - just to let you know I only use those channels for family and close friends so it’s best we stick to email for contact’. I think if you’re breezy about it then it’s not a big deal, but it’s also clear where the boundary is.
I'd do this - but I'd make the comment from my work email the next time I contacted them.

Unless your social media account is something you use professionally I would make it private, and block liberally if you don't want work people to be in rouch there.

Nikori · 24/09/2020 00:48

I had a coworker who kept sending me work stuff through FB messenger. It’s very annoying because I find it hard to search through the messages to get the relevant information. Email is better for work stuff because I have a system set up there.

burglarbettybaby · 24/09/2020 01:05

I wouldn't like that either. Our facebook is now used at work and what's app. I qm considering purchasing a second phone and setting up a second facebook for this purpose. It's important to keep these separate.

Mincingfuckdragon2 · 24/09/2020 02:08

Send from work email tomorrow: "I noticed you sent me some material via social media. That won't work for me - I'd be grateful if you would please send all correspondence by email. Thanks [client]."

Maria53 · 24/09/2020 02:12

I don't even know why I am agonising over this @Mincingfuckdragon2. The client has overstepped the boundary. I have every right to keep my private and personal life separate

That is just it - my profile is set to private and he was still able to message me.

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TitsOutForHarambe · 24/09/2020 02:52

Absolutely fine to direct him back to your professional email/phone number etc.

I would have to have work stuff seeping into my personal life. I feel stressed just thinking about it.

alexdgr8 · 24/09/2020 02:59

why was he hand-shaking let alone hugging during a pandemic?
he sounds a bit creepy. be careful.
don't say that sm is only for close friends/family to him. if he is obsessive that could set him off, feeling offended, outraged that you do not include him in friends, and seek revenge.

HannaYeah · 24/09/2020 03:32

I would delete and ignore. If he says anything you tell him to send it via work channels.

Torvean32 · 24/09/2020 03:37

Your page, you get to decide.

I worked in health care. Because my surname is very rare. I mixed it up a bit on fb, so i just have family and close friends.

I do have nurse friends though that have patients on their friend's list. I think its too risky.

VettiyaIruken · 24/09/2020 11:07

Sparklesocks

I would just say something casual yet matter of fact like ‘I noticed you sent me a follow request on Facebook/Instagram/whatever - just to let you know I only use those channels for family and close friends so it’s best we stick to email for contact’. I think if you’re breezy about it then it’s not a big deal, but it’s also clear where the boundary is.

I think this is perfect apart from I'd remove close . I only use those channels for family and friends tells him very clearly that you are not his friend. At all.

Also maybe stick a not appropriate in there somewhere.

Mincingfuckdragon2 · 28/09/2020 22:01

@Maria53 do you think the reason you are agonising over it is because, for whatever reason, you struggle with setting boundaries and are a bit of a people pleaser? If so, you should put that aside and feel confident on your decision to tell him to use work channels only. He is trying to overstep and you can stop him without feeling guilty. He is in the wrong here, give yourself permission to say no. (I might be projecting here, apologies if so. I used to be terrible at saying no and now after some concerted effort I'm getting better at it.)

Mincingfuckdragon2 · 28/09/2020 22:03

in, not 'on' your decision.

Shizzlestix · 28/09/2020 22:05

I would just block him and remove all colleagues from social media. I can’t understand why you’d want/allow them on your social media platforms. Tell him it’s inappropriate.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/09/2020 22:12

I think having colleagues on social media is completely different to having clients. Many people do have a sociable relationship with their colleagues. It does not require the same boundaries as a client.

I like the message suggested above. He’s not taking the hint so be more direct.

TableFlowerss · 28/09/2020 22:33

I would block or completely ignore